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Uchiha Jones is a character role-played by cyr aka Anime Phuckface. ([Pegi18[Eng Dub])


Born in Kansas, Japan, Uchiha lived with his parents until the age of four, when they were brutally murdered in front of him. A man took him in and trained him as a Shinoba. At the age of 18, his sensei confessed that he was the one who beheaded his parents. Searching for his sensei, Uchiha moved to Los Santos. He is a member of Chang Gang.

Uchiha speaks English and Kansas-ese, a mixture of Japanese and English. He also calls people "fucko", which is a term of endearment in his native land.

He has cybernetic arms, legs, and a shoko (penis) from Boston Dynamics (in collaboration with Pillbox Medical and SpaceSex). Uchiha wears an exoskeleton on his torso as a result of all the combat damage.

*Cyr has stated that Uchiha is based on various characters from video games [such as Final Fantasy] and anime series [such as Naruto]. Cyr uses music from these games and series to set the mood for Uchiha's character.

Uchiha's Early Days in Los Santos


  • Uchiha's favorite doctor is Choi; she has helped him multiple times when he was injured in combat. She knows his cybernetic upgrades and how to fix them. Multiple EMT's also know about his upgrades and how to treat his injuries. The doctors at Pillbox Medical Center have become accustomed to Uchiha's Cybernetic upgrades.
    • Mel and Uchiha questioned Doctor Choi to see if she was his sensei, it is highly unlikely. With no leads on his sensei, Uchiha wonders if he is even in Los Santos.
  • Mother invited Uchiha and others to a Melbert themed party (Mel-Con) at the strip club. Outto-Tune Tyrone sang Mel a song, Vinny did a striptease, and Kelly did a bike show. Mel blew up a bunch of cars and burned himself, and Uchiha was run over by Jordan at the end of the filler episode. (all events were not canon to character development, according to cyr.)
  • Uchiha first met Vinny at Pillbox, where they fought. He then tells Choi that he wants to kill Vinny. Uchiha drove around on his motorcycle looking for Vinny, because he wanted to beat him up. After having no luck, Vinny called him. They met in front of his house and fought, and both of them got knocked down. In the end, they made up, and everything returned to normal.

The Egg Situation

Original Case

At one point, Nino Chavez claimed that Uchiha "shoved eggs up his ass". In response, Uchiha wanted to sue Nino for defecation, stating that he had lost business at his detective firm because of the rumor. Uchiha asked Dr. Choi for help finding a lawyer, and she called Erin; a newcomer to the role. Erin and Uchiha met in front of the courthouse, and Uchiha explained the case. After disclosing all the details of the situation, Erin revealed that she had already been hired as a defense attorney by Nino. Angered at Erin gathering this information from Uchiha, he left.

After the infuriating situation with Erin, Uchiha decided to hire Chang for SBS court. Upon meeting up with Chang, they devised a plan to frame Nino instead. They gathered Choi and Vinny, and headed to the Chicken Factory. Vinny disguised himself so that he resembled Chavez. The group staged a video so it seemed like Nino has been the one shoving eggs up his ass (video). Vinny had to commit to the act for it to be believable. The group then met with Nino at the mansion, and showed him the video; Nino questioned the group in anger, and left.


Uchiha and Chang debuted the video to the city, at an event meant for Brenda and Saab's two month anniversary. Everyone at the event posted on Twitter about the video, tweeting things such as #NinoChaveggz and #NinoShoveggzUpHisAss. Nino got a text from Saab, asking if he actually does what the video presents (1). Nino was extremely angry, and claimed to want to kill Uchiha.

Following the video debut, Chang set up a meeting to talk with Nino about it. Before driving to the location, Uchiha put on a disguise and hid in the trunk, in order to listen in on the conversation. During the discussion, the trunk was opened, and Uchiha was forced to get out. Luckily, he had previously beaten up a local on a bike, which Uchiha used to quickly escape (1).

Nino's Response

In revenge for Uchiha's actions, Nino planned to make a video of his own; depicting Uchiha and Choi in the act of "egg shoving". Nino employed Karen to play ChoiGarrett to play Uchiha, and Chang to help out. (video)

Nino aimed to host a city-wide event with a cash prize, and show everyone the video. However, unbeknownst to Nino, Chang had provided the location of filming to Uchiha. In true shinoba style, he snuck onto the scene, and found evidence that the video was a hoax (video).

Uchiha Specialties


6th Realm 
  • The 6th Realm is a place of higher existence. Very little knowledge is known about the 6th Realm. Uchiha has claimed to have gone there for a long period of time. He explains that the portal to the 6th Realm only opens up every 500 earth years. The only ways to enter are DMT and high-intensity sex with a Sakura-chan or a Portal Kombat tournament.
  • Mr. Chang has said he has been to the 6th Realm.

7th Realm

  • The 7th Realm is made up by Ramee. It's utter nonsense and does not exist according to Uchiha.

9th Realm

  • Uchiha Jones was suspected of murdering Deputy Tony Tiger, and was given the 9's (held until trial). Uchi referred to being in prison as the "9th realm" due to his sentencing; even writing on the cafeteria wall Welcome to the 9th realm.

Heck Realm

  • The Heck Realm is basically hell with a lot of demons planning to invade the Earth Realm.
Earth Realm 
  • The Earth Realm is where humans exist. Uchiha has to save the mortals from the incoming demon invasion from Heck Realm.
Signature Moves

  • Ichipunch (1 , 2)
  • Prone Bone Style (1)
  • Clam Stacking
  • Car Hood Sliding
  • Self Cucking
  • Motorcycle Crashing (1 ,2 ,3 ,4, 5, 6 )
  • Sha!
Inner Monologues

Uchiha has dark inner monologues, in which his vision turns red. They happen after interacting with other civilians.

Missions / Quests

  1. [Mission Accepted] Uchiha had to search for Alabaster Slim, after multiple people told him he was missing. Apparently, Slim wasn't missing at all, and Gomer told Uchiha that he was talking to Slim on the phone. [Mission End]

Character Arcs

First Arc

Need info on arc before he lost his limbs.

Nugget Arc

(Also known as Chocobo Arc.)

Uchiha wakes up in the hospital with no more limbs because Ricky and his gang kidnapped him and took his limbs. Ricky needed them to walk again.
Uchiha acquires prosthetic legs which resemble huge bird legs (Chocobo) from Boston Dynamics. He claims that they sent the wrong prosthetics. During this time he goes around telling people he lays eggs and they can't have them. People call him a freak because of his bird legs and beat him up a lot. His eggs become coveted for their nutritional value. three eggs equal three lives

Depression Arc

(Also known as Devil May Cry Arc.)

Uchiha acquires upgrades from Boston Dynamics in collaboration with Pillbox Medical, at a price. Dealing with becoming more machine than man, Uchiha expresses great edgelord depression in nearly every conversation he has. It is during this stage where Uchiha seeks purpose by developing a signature move, later to become known as the Ichipunch.

Incest-Kun Arc

After accepting being denied by Sakura-chan, Uchiha expresses feelings of attraction towards his adopted mother.

Heck Realm Arc

After being knocked out failing to rob someone's house, he wakes up in Heck Realm. There's an alien standing at the front desk of Pillbox Medical. All the lights are off, everything is dark and foggy.

Race Arc

Snake and Uchiha (Raiden) enter Sun Moon's million-dollar race as team "FOXHOUND", aiming to use the money to save the city. They compete during race days 3 and 4.
Day 3 - Mel joins the team early on for a short period, titled their "scribe" by Uchiha. Uchiha accidentally murders Charles while climbing up a crane (1). The first set of clues eventually lead them to a bridge which holds the checkpoint at the very top - they climb but Uchiha falls and Snake has to complete the challenge alone. Snake locates the second clue before retrieving Uchiha from the Pink Cage. The third clue is on the top of The Rockford plaza, where Uchiha reveals a hidden ability to list mythical creatures. Clue four is located at the movie studio - Uchiha falls again. They then return to the aforementioned crane, where Sun Moon awaits as clue five. He tells them to read a Korean movie script aloud. Finally, the team is tasked with reaching the peak of Mount Chiliad on foot. Uchiha gives his Scorpion to Snake so that he can defend them from murder kitties, one of which Uchiha eats. The team reaches the top but is closely beaten by Nino Chavez who is partnered with Irwin Dundee.
Day 4 - This race required a "monster" costume, Snake and Uchiha dress up as polar bears. Uchiha is disgusted by people treating his 'foot shape' as part of a costume (1). The Sakura-chan car is debuted at the beginning of the race. These clues are located in water-based locations on the outskirts of the city. They acquire a boat, completing locations one and two with some difficulty. Hoping to find the next area, they dive beneath Humane labs but are unsuccessful. In order to have a chance at winning, Snake and Uchiha acquire a helicopter, helping them find the next locations. Location four requires one team member to leave and change clothes, the other tasked with guessing the theme of the outfit they will return in - 'Ninja, builder or sexy'. Snake returns in a "ninja" outfit as guessed and they proceed to find Sun Moon. They are told to read another Korean movie script before their final task of running to the south side tool store, buying a bucket and bringing it back.
Uchiha, left behind and losing what is left of his sanity, is motivated by Snake (1). Team FOXHOUND finishes in third place, unable to secure a spot in the final race.
Detective Arc

Chang becomes a private detective and invites Uchiha to join him. Their office is located in the back of the strip club. Later Vinny and Ramee join the detective firm. Multiple people have joined and helped them with cases. They have a 100% case closed record. Rose was hired as Uchiha's assistant. Chang has a new top-secret location for the detective firm.

The First Brenda Case

Lang Buddha hires Chang to find out if Brenda is cheating on Saab, little does he know Uchiha and Brenda have a complicated flirtatious relationship. Chang and Uchiha do recon to get evidence. They spy on Saab and Buddha having a conversation, Uchiha takes notes. They go to the hospital to talk to Brenda. Buddha "dies" in the hospital bed. Chang tells Saab that Buddha said, "to forget about Brenda and fuck other women." He tells Vinny and Uchiha to seduce Brenda, they bring her to the mansion for a setup. Chang feeds her lies, and the plan fails. Brenda, Saab, Chang, and Vinny talk it out on the sidewalk while Uchiha spies in a bush. Chang tells them to break up for a day so he can have a 100% case closed record. Case Closed

Notes from Saab and Buddha encounter

The Cheating Pimp Case

Erin seeks help with her pimp boyfriend who she believes is cheating on her with a pink-haired woman. She gives Uchiha her number. Erin calls Uchiha for any info. Uchiha says that Alabaster said: "Ya I'm cheating bitch, she a hoe". Uchiha tells Erin to try and get under Alabaster's skin to see if he really cares about her or not. Uchiha says, "I bet I can make him cry."

The Police Officer Case

Officer AJ Hunter wants them to investigate Conan Clarkson for any diseases. (Chang does the rest)

The Scammer Case

Uchiha posts an ad in the yellow pages to bait the scam caller. The scammer calls him and tells him he has a lot of charges on his record and needs to pay a fine for his warrant. He tries to connect to his phone with fast support but fails. Uchiha goes to the bank, the scammer tells him to take out 999 dollars out of his account. The scammer tells Uchiha to meet him at tool shop 2 of 2. He tells Uchiha to buy a gift card, then tells him to buy three body armor. The scammer attacks Uchiha with a hatchet in the bushes. Chang shoots at the scammer but he escapes. The EMT come and bring Uchiha to Pillbox Medical. After waking up Uchiha witnesses Chang named a hero for saving him and the scammer is caught. Case Closed

The Dungeons and Dragons Case

A nerd calls Uchiha from his yellow pages ad for help with a mystery. Uchiha meets the two nerds in the parking lot under the highway. After a bunch of arguing Uchiha turns into the Dungeon Master and they proceed to Role Play and roll dice. The mystery was never solved because Kevin Shaw called for help. Case Closed

The Kevin Shaw Case

Kevin Shaw calls because he's stranded in the ocean with other people. Uchiha steals a boat and saves them, the EMT land a helicopter on the beach and give medical assistance. Back at Pillbox Medical they thank Uchiha and call him a hero. Case Closed

» The Jordan Case

Something about a woman harassing Jordan.

The Ghost Car Case

The Demon Ramee Case

Ramee gets possessed by a demon, Uchiha and Chang get help from Saint Jospeh for an exorcism. They burn the body twice and piss on him (holy water) then throw him off the dam into the water. Chang jumps in to save Ramee, they bring him to Pillbox Medical. Case Closed

The Thalia Hayes Case

Nino Chavez talks to Uchiha and Chang about a girl he's currently having sex with who's getting too emotionally attached. The plan is for Uchiha (fuckbeast 4000) to fuck her prone bone style.

The Bovice Case

Mother requested information on the location of escaped convict Bovice. She's worried that she's on his kill list.

The Second Bovice Case

Doctor Choi wants to know if Bovice is now TJ. She is also worried about his violent past.

The Who is Jesus Case

Buddha wants to know some information on Jesus. Uchiha believes Jesus might be willing to give him some information as long as he continues to act vulnerable.

The Rudi Rinsen Case

"He woke up in his house, bloodied up, blood everywhere. Face wounds. Missing right eye. Note on the ground "Friend, I found you took you to witch doctor, took care of you, eye is gone" No idea whatsoever what happened. Rudi was having a few beers at his OWN bar. Last thing he remembers wasn't a result of drinking too much. Driving school with Tessa, Reid called him MULTIPLE times. Called Tess multiple times. Nobody picked up. Couple hours later he called Tess again. She picked up, she said he heard his phone ringing multiple times but he was focused on driving. She also told Reid that she left him in Harmony at the repair shop. Apparently Rudi took a phone call, took a few steps back he appeared agitated and said for her to leave him there because he would get picked up. She doesn't know the name of the individual who called."
  • Doesn't suspect anyone from his shop is a lead.
  • No current enemies.
  • No suspicion that Tessa is involved.
  • He doesn't recall anyone in Harmony at the time.
  • He doesn't recall anyone following them during the driving test.
- Uchiha's Notes.
Rudi notes.PNG
Uchiha talks to Reid, he has no new info. Uchiha goes to Chang to talk about the case. They go searching for Tessa for any leads on the case. Uchiha talks to Tessa in the parking lot about a driving test, they exchange numbers.

Big cash reward.

The Jordan Stabbing Case

Chang stabbed Jordan for $20,000. Jordan wants to know who paid him to do it. In reward for the information, he's going to let Uchiha and Chang park at the hospital without a tow. Uchiha tells Chang, he agrees to tell him who did it but at a cost. They take Jordan to an undisclosed room under the ruse that they work for homeland security. They talk about Jordan's past. Chang spills the beans and says it was Allen. They drop a bunch of shit in the room and Uchiha lights a campfire causing Jordan and himself to pass out from the smoke. The cops breach the room and everyone catches on fire. Case Closed

The Zack Case

Kevin Shaw wants Uchiha to investigate Zack.

The Ghost Sakura Case

Kayden calls Uchiha from the grave, she wants to be resurrected. She said Jordan fucked her to death. They go pick her up in a parking lot and Chang drives them up a mountain to start the ritual. A bunch of hillbilly folk starts to shoot after them. Uchiha gets shot and they drive him to a house. In his state, Kayden gives him CPR, Uchiha pulls Kayden back from the dead. They walk outside and look at the sunrise in the rain. Case Closed
Inception Arc

(Also is known as Faintception Arc)

After crashing his car with Mel, Uchiha faints, then faints within that faint, and then faints within the faint within the faint, entering faintception limbo. After being transported with a helicopter to Pillbox Medical, Uchiha wakes up convinced everyone is projections from the faintception. He can't remember where he was before entering the faintception and wants to get out. He starts to wonder if he might actually be inside Mel's faint since they fainted around the same time. He meets Mel, who takes out his anger for Eugene on Uchiha, probably confused after spending too much time in limbo. Uchiha reveals to Mel, that his shoko doesn't work, which leads him to believe he's three faints deep. He thinks he has a mission here, but he can't remember what. He asks Mel to help him get out of the faintception. Mel gets a call from Eugene's phone number, but it's not Eugene calling, which reinforces the belief that Uchiha and Mel are stuck inside Mel's faint. Uchiha wants to jump off a crane to get out of the third faint, but Mel's projection of Eugene tries to stop him. Uchiha tries to take out a vehicle, but since Mel doesn't believe Uchiha has any money, he is unable to. He starts climbing the crane at the construction site, believing the fall will give him the kick to get out of the faint.

The message Uchiha sends after climbing the crane

Uchiha calls 911 saying he's gonna jump off the crane, to which they respond with "please don't do it. It isn't worth it". He calls Khloe asking about the first time they met, to find out if she is a projection or not. She doesn't answer the question. Uchiha reveals to Khloe that his shoko is his totem. She tries to convince him that this is the real world.
"I'm waiting for a Crane. A crane that will take me far away. And I know that I hope where the crane will take me, but I can't be sure, but it doesn't matter. Because we'll be together." - Uchiha to Khloe
Uchiha tries to explain the faintception to Khloe, but she does not understand. She climbs up the crane and meets Uchiha, who feels that this Khloe is a bit different, probably because of Mel's perception of her. MJ also climbs up the crane. She says she remembers his mission, to repopulate the earth and kill his sensei. Uchiha wonders why he needed to go three layers deep to complete the mission. Mel stands on the crane across the one Uchiha is on. He says the mission is to push Khloe off the crane. He says it will wake them up because they are in her dream. Uchiha starts to wonder if he can trust Mel since he might be a misprojection of Khloe's security. Uchiha asks Mel when they first met, something he cannot remember. Mel tries to convince Uchiha he's real, but Uchiha is very skeptical. Mel suddenly remembers the first time they met, which makes Uchiha believe they are in Mel's faint. Mel says that if Uchiha pushes MJ off the crane, he will wake up, which means they will all wake up. Uchiha asks how many are in the faintception, to which he answers "the entire city". Uchiha doesn't know who to trust since he can't remember the mission. Uchiha then wonders if he's in his own faint. Khloe left to a call, which makes Mel believe the faint belongs to the other EMS MJ, who stayed. Uchiha asks MJ if she induced the faint. She says a simulated fall can give the kick without potentially killing him. Uchiha contemplates whether he should jump or not. After talking to MJ he decides to leave the crane and find another way to leave the faint.
Uchiha feels apathy toward other people because he believes they're all projections. Uchiha gets another call from Mel, who says he's still on top of the crane. Uchiha thinks him and Mel might be connected within the faint. Mel wants Uchiha to catch him. He says he's invincible and that they are in his faint and if he jumps off the crane they might exit the faint. Uchiha says that since they are three layers into the faint, time goes 3x slower, and they can do whatever they want. Mel wants to go 1 layer up and gets Uchiha to climb up the crane he's on. He meets Mel on top of the crane. Mel picks up Uchiha, saying he will drop him off to get him to level 2. Mel says they have to wake up together, and jumps off the crane with Uchiha.
Both get severely injured on the impact and instantly believe they are in the real world because of the extreme pain. Uchiha says they might need a higher jump because the projection is very high quality. They both get transported to the hospital. Uchiha wakes up from the bed thinks they might be in level 2. He talks to Mel and says they're now in level 2. He wants him to ichi-punch him. Uchiha needs to have sex to see if his shoko works, it will reveal whether or not they are in the real world.
All of a sudden a mysterious voice speaks to Uchiha, claiming to be God. Uchiha is confused. Mel takes a suicide pill, Uchiha takes one as well. Uchiha wakes up in the hospital bed. He checks his shoko, which seems in check to him. He goes up and hugs Khloe, asking how long he was out for. He finds Mel and says they're finally out. He walks by a police officer talking to MJ who saved him about a potential 51-50. He runs out of the hospital. Now he just wants to see Choi.
Stripper Arc

"You've been a very, very bad boy, Uchiha." - Mother
During a Ladies' Night hosted by Mother at the Vanilla Unicorn, Uchiha is pressured by many of the women in attendance (namely Brenda and Karen) to perform a striptease for them. While performing, Uchiha begins to question the moral and social implications from being a stripper; asking Mother if she is “disgusted with what your son has become?”. The first people that were at Vanilla Unicorn Ladies' Night were Mother, Uchiha, Shaw, Ellie, Brenda, Karen, Tori, and Freya. Uchiha receives a call from Chang and as time passes Chips and Windsong come to join the crowd. Chang, Randy and Taco join in as strippers including Allen to help Uchiha and Shaw entertain the women. The Vanilla Unicorn Event ends as the after party is going to take place at the yacht to continue ladies' night.
Shaw drives a motor boat picking up Mother, Uchiha, Karen, and Ellie to take to the yacht. On the yacht, Uchiha starts to stand next to Ellie as they start saying random made up quotes to each other as Mother watches them. Later Brenda shows up as she and Uchiha start having a conversation telling him she has a boyfriend. Uchiha calls himself a snack to Brenda and still rejects him in front of everyone on the yacht as they were eavesdropping on their conversation. Uchiha takes off from the conversation as Brenda follows him to continue talking more. Brenda handcuffs Uchiha in front of everybody to take him back inside the yacht to have another private conversation as everybody eavesdrops again. Brenda asks him our we goog or not goog? Uchiha tells her that she is like a pen that don't work that you throw away and the conversation ends with Brenda uncuffing Uchiha.
As time passes the sunrise starts to begin as Uchiha walks up behind Mother and Ellie to tell Mother "he is never going to find a fucking suitable partner". Mother and Ellie tells him "he doesn't need one" as Uchiha tells Mother "a man has needs". Mother tells him "he can pay people to help with that or ask a close friend". Uchiha says "yeah whatever" as Ellie tells him "he will find someone one day". The conversation continues as Sarah randomly shows up in a hospital helicopter to see if anyone needed medical with Mother being the only one. Everyone takes off as Uchiha and Mother are left on the yacht as they talk and end up jumping into the water to swim to shore. Uchiha is barely able to swim since his legs are not working properly after being kicked by Mother after he accidentally punched her when they were on the yacht. Mother makes it to shore first and tells him should she call EMS? Uchiha replies saying "Mother I ain't no bitch" and "I rather die walking" as he faints right after. Mother carries him for a little while and calls for EMS as Sarah shows up again in a ambulance.

Months later, Uchiha talks about the Ladies' Night with his girlfriend, Choi. Choi mentions that she has heard about the night, with Uchiha sharing that being a stripper "ain't a bad life."

Fan Dub Arc

Uchiha went to Pillbox Medical to get fixed up; while there a new doctor messed with his OS and prosthetics. The Doctor turned off Uchiha's Japanese accent giving him an American one. Uchiha believed he had achieved his ultimate prone bone form and went rogue in search of LS thots. Chang was very upset about this and with the help of Karen and Garrett managed to kidnap Uchiha and take him up north in an attempt to reboot his system at a back-alley surgeon. However since none of them had any cash, they had to return to Pillbox and convince the Doctors to reverse their upgrades.

Stoner Arc

During a scuffle between Mel and Uchiha, Mel ends up stealing Uchiha's Sakura Mobile from him. Mel changes the design of the Sakura-chan into a old metal design and the tires into off road with pink rims. Later through the day Mel calls up Uchiha telling him to come get his car while Uchiha was hanging with Chang. Mel tells Uchiha his ping and Chang drives Uchiha to Mel's location. Chang drops off Uchiha around the corner and Chang goes around the other side to see if they both could capture Mel. Mel ends up blowing up Uchiha's Sakura Mobile in an alley way and escapes by climbing up a ladder to jump from roof to roof from the small buildings. Uchiha finds Mel even later through the day and ichi punches him from behind in front of Integrity apartments.
The next day Uchiha comes out of Integrity apartment and runs into Mel and Eugene. Mel wants Uchiha to stay away from him and Uchiha goes to the garage to get his car which is all fucked up and broken. Uchiha calls up a mechanic from Harmony Repairs to fix up his vehicle and heads towards it on the freeway. Uchiha ends up crashing from a crazy local flipping his vehicle on its side and ends up calling Tessa for help. Tessa comes with [Pixie Plum
Dojo Arc

Chang brought Uchiha along with Ramee and Vinny to a new Dojo that he opened. They kidnap Melbert to use him as a sacrifice in a public demonstration. (needs more info)

The Two Uchihas Arc

(Also known as Body Swap Arc.)

During a brain surgery, Doctor Choi blacks out and wakes up convinced that she is now Uchiha Jones' consciousness in her body. In this form, Choi is referred to as Uchoiha and wears his typical outfits (1,2,3,4,5). She tells people that Uchiha as Choi saw his shoko and ran off with it. During this time she hangs around Pillbox Medical harassing people as Uchoiha. She uses her ghost shoko to revive people and give them IV's. Uchoiha tries to locate a Sakura-chan to procreate with, asking his personal assisant Rose to be his wife. Brenda tries to help Uchoiha by giving her a wooden shoko to replace her missing shoko. Uchiha arrives in the city, and is informed that Choi has gone crazy, thinking she is him. He concludes that the only way to return her to normal is to dress in her doctor attire to remind her of who she actually is. Uchiha returns to the hospital in the medical getup, though this only seems to further convince Uchoiha that they have switched bodies. Uchiha begins to question how people put up with him all the time if this is how he acts. At this point, Mel suggests shock therapy to return Choi to normal. In one of the rooms in Pillbox Medical, Mel takes out a taser and shoots Uchoiha multiple times until Choi turns back to her normal self. (1)
Prison Arc

During an SBSO situation 'gone wrong' with Chang and Charles, Deputy Tony Tiger was killed. Post to the event, Uchiha was downed and fell from the group vehicle. The police found him laying on the road around the scene of the killing, and arrested him as a suspect for the murder. While in hospital for his injuries, Chang and Charles attempted a rescue, taking down four cops. It was nearly successful, but cut short by Vagos (who were at war with Chang Gang at the time) rolling up, and shooting down Chang.
Uchiha was transported to MRPD where he underwent questioning. While being held for interrogation, Uchiha sang songs to comfort himself, notably 'STILL' by Dr Dre; stating it represents a time where he was trapped in a dark room and had to dig for 8 hours to get out, but he was still going.
He was given a sentencing of 'the 9s' (held until court) for murdering a police officer (allegedly) and was transported to prison with escort.
Choi, Vinny and Ramee all visited him in prison during his time there. Vinny asked for the details of what happened, which Uchiha explained the situation as though it were a movie plot. Vinny asked if Uchiha wanted a sequel to that movie, involving 4 other main characters; hinting at a break out. Uchiha was hesitant at this point, and told Vinny that if he can't get a lawyer first, he would agree to it. Choi offered her services in finding a good lawyer, and provided Uchiha with food, bandages, and water. She was extremely worried, as she had been witness to David Barker's execution for the same charge, and did not want the same outcome here. Choi warned against the repercussions of a prison break, despite how tempting it may sound. 
Brocky Potage was also in prison at this time, and gave Uchiha a hard time, calling him a 'Virgin', and flirting with Choi. While visiting, Ramee reminded Uchiha of their willingness to break him out. He seemed relieved that the police were not pushing charges involving gun trafficking and crack dealing. Additionally, Uchiha asked him to 'jump' Brocky Potage for what he had done in prison, to which Ramee agreed, and they exchange evil cackles. This plan ended up being carried out, and Brocky was shot and thrown into a lake.
Due to the hesitance on the break, Mr. Chang and Uchiha decide over a phone call that a care package would be air-dropped into the prison grounds. The care package would include a weapon, drugs, etc., at 20:00 that evening. However, this plan was never executed, as Choi arrived with Murphy in tow, a lawyer who is known to be very successful in court. They discussed the details of the charges, and what happened. Following the discussion, Murphy was able to secure a bail hearing at the court house.
Uchiha was transported to court, where many people of the city gathered. Murphy gave a strong statement, utilizing Uchiha's reasonably good record (citing offences against government employees, and violence) and with this, Uchiha should be qualified for bail. The cost for bail was set at $100,000; a sum which would be returned if Uchiha appeared to his court case. Chang, Vinny, and Ramee paid the bail fee, and Uchiha was released. His limitations while on bail was that he could not commit any offence, lest he be returned to prison, and the money forfeit.
Reformed Arc

(Also known as the Good, but Not Arc.)

Uchiha, while out on bail, decides to 'reform' himself and make people realize that he is not a bad person. He dresses in an all white outfit and paints his car white, symbolizing his now clean and pure state. He aims to align his Chi's and relacc.
Uchi believes that it would be good for his case to better himself in the eyes of the police force, and wants to hold an event called 'coffee with cops' which he asks Jordan about and he agrees to go. Later, Jordan convinces Uchiha to help him with a support group for alcoholics at Pillbox Medical, which Uchiha tweets about, trying to gain attendance 'come get drunk with a cop', as he believes promising drinks to people will get them in - getting the foot in the door tactic.

Uchiha's Initiation To Chang Gang

Uchiha is kidnapped by Chang, Randy, Ramee, and Vinny, who are dressed like Sasquatches. Uchiha is then taken to a maze, where he has to defeat all of the "Beasts." He manages to defeat all of the "Beasts", only to be confronted by Chang. They then engage in a gun fight, which leaves them both dead. They manage to get to the entrance of the maze, only to find Bobby Brown there, and he calls EMS. Once the EMS arrive, Chang tells Uchiha that he is officially a part of the Chang Gang. The boys then go to the mansion, and Vinny gives Uchiha keys.

Fighting Tournaments

June 5th, 2019 Fight

"Episode 991" - Anime Phuckface

  • Round 1 
    • Uchiha wins vs Red, being cheered on by Choi.

  • Round 2
    • Uchiha loses vs Buck.
  • Battle Royale Round
    • Uchiha hides on the side and wins, because Eugene is cuffed by Jordan for hitting him with a bat.
August 28th: Dragon Dojo's 1st Tournament

After Uchiha was bailed out, Chang decided to throw a tournament for the Dojo. "Participants must wear costumes, and are allowed to use special powered 'Weapons'." The tournament began with OTT as the announcer; calling up each participant to fight in a one-on-one battle. Each fighter that wins their round would go to the next round, with the final winner receiving the Dragon Trophy.

Round 1

Round 2

  • Hatchet (Karen Dahmer) × Patriotic Cthulhu (Kelly Smith)
    • Kelly defeats Karen by punching her out.
  • Green Marijuana (Charles Johnson) × The Ripper (Jack Ripley)
    • Ripley defeats Chawa by knocking him out with his night stick.

Round 3

  • The Ripper (Jack Ripley) × Patriotic Cthulhu (Kelly Smith)
    • Ripley defeats Kelly by knocking him out.

Final Round

  • Uchiha × The Ripper (Jack Ripley)
    • Uchiha defeats Ripley with the ichi punch, to remain being the champion of the Dojo. After Uchiha picks up the trophy, Gladys comes up from behind to ichi punch him, knocking Uchiha out. Chang quickly ichi punches Gladys, to become the undisputed champion. However, Uchiha was still recognized as the Champion with the Dragon Trophy, thus ending the first tournament.

Court Cases

Uchiha Jones vs Jack Sullivan

Jack Sullivan decided to sue Uchiha for misidentifying Ricky as him.
In the beginning of the case Uchiha represents himself against Jack Sullivan and his lawyer Jerry. Jerry asks for Reinhart to come up to the stand for questioning if she knows who Uchiha, Jack Sullivan and Ricky is and other things. Uchiha also comes to question her about if he looks like a person who would lie and ever lied to her. Jerry objects and Uchiha tells Judge Coyote that he doesn't even know this lady. Jerry calls up Jack Sullivan for questioning and Judge Coyote cuts the questioning to ask if any lawyer would help Uchiha. Chris McGrawl comes forward to accept to be Uchiha's lawyer as Uchiha agrees.
After a ten minute recess court begins again with Chris now defending Uchiha. Jerry resumes questioning Jack Sullivan about the case as Chris redirects to question Jack. Jerry asks for Uchiha to come to the stand for questioning about if he knew Ricky's name and Chris also questions him. Jerry calls for Colt Shepherd to the stand for questioning and Chris questions him too. Chris recalls Shepherd to the stand to ask him what resources were used to properly identify the suspect. Jerry questions Shepherd once again then after that Jerry and Chris gives their closing statements.
Uchiha won the court case, there was no way to prove that Uchiha knew or did not know Ricky's real name. Chris asks for no money in return and agrees to help Uchiha in his next case. Uchiha had his support from Eugene, Mel, Rose and even Ricky, who was in a disguise.
Uchiha Jones vs Mission Row PD

The case was cancelled by the police, after Uchiha won his case against Jack Sullivan.
Uchiha Jones vs The People

Chang Gang vs The People

Chang, Uchiha, Vinny and Mario were put on trial after the kidnapping of Adrienne West and the murder of Kermit Delaw. They were hired to do so by Bovice, who had proposed to Uchiha to complete the job in trade for Choi's life. The DA's office were trying to push the charges for the murder, plus terrorism due to the association with Bovice with the result of a 10,000 dollar fine and the death penalty.
In order to sway the case in their favour, the group produced a fake video of the scene, based on the manipulated eye witness testimony Ryan Carthus provided to the police. (video).
The gang was represented by lawyer Murphy Braun in court and were greatly benefited by the convincing video in addition to the fact that the prosecution's main witness, Adrienne, was not present to testify (had been 51-50'd). In conclusion, the judge ruled that the members of Chang Gang were not guilty of both charges, based upon the inconsistencies he found within the reports and evidence presented.
Uchiha and Chang plan to sue the police department for being starved in holding cells post to the initial event.

Sakura-chans / LS Thots

Hedi Saurus (First Sakura-chan)

In search of love, Uchiha finds a Sakura-chan, who leads him on; only to have a boyfriend who is a cop named Tribble. Uchiha was very pure and naive during this time, believing love was easy. They rarely see or talk to each other, but everything seems fine between them.
Brenda Pancake

At one point Brenda started to show feelings for Uchiha, only to friend-zone him. At this point, they are both really good friends, and flirt with each other, and they text sometimes. Brenda told Uchiha she likes handcuffs.

Brenda's Trust Level: 0

Mother is always supportive of Uchiha because she is his surrogate mother. She has tried to help him in the past to find a Sakura-chan, Even setting him up with a date. During the Incest Arc Uchiha was expressing sexual feelings towards Mother.
Doctor Choi

They have a very good friendship and Uchiha keeps on self cucking. They text and hang out a lot. Uchiha sees her a lot when he gets injured. Uchiha likes to talk to Doctor Choi about his quests and the LS Thots. Whenever he goes to Pillbox Medical, he always requests to see Choi, and when she is not there he misses her. Choi broke it off with LaBarre because they were drifting apart and she was having feelings for Uchiha. Choi wants Uchiha's Head
Uchiha was talking about an LS Thot while being treated by Choi at Pillbox Medical, this upset her. She wanted Uchiha to open up a case to find his heart. Uchiha declined because he is not good with emotions.
Uchiha tells Choi that he could be a better Doctor than her. "how hard can it be?" Choi won't let him operate on anyone, but he tried to multiple times. He asks Choi if she ever has done a little bit of weed and operated before. She says "I would never do that, I would lose my job." (1) During this time Uchiha is some what pure and does crime to make dollar bills.
  • Choi threw Uchiha into the Heck Realm by accident, this upset Uchiha.
  • Uchiha calling Choi his girlfriend for the first time.
  • Uchiha sometimes wants Choi to smoke weed with him but she always declines.
  • Uchiha discovers he cares about Choi during his second therapy session with Thalia Hayes.
  • Choi pulled lawyer Murphy Braun out of a coma in order to help Uchiha out of jail.
  • Uchiha gets a Koi fish tattoo he calls a 'Choi fish' as a way of showing appreciation for everything she has done for him.
  • Choi tucked Uchiha in bed since he was tired after he told her information about the HOA.

First Date

Uchiha and Choi went to the beach to smoke a little bit of weed (Smoking Weed) and relacc. Uchiha Tried to Ichipunch a local but failed and got hit. They sit next to a fire and talk a little bit. They take a walk along the beach in the water and he passes out. Choi carries him back to his car and drives to Pillbox Medical. She goes on duty and makes him all goog.

Second Date

Uchiha dresses up in a blue, sleeveless suit and takes Choi for a drive up in the hills. They pull up on a large, grand estate which Uchiha claims is the Shinoba training grounds. He gives her a detailed tour, and Choi takes a dip in the onsen. They talk about where the "Sakura-chans" are kept (1,2) and the Hokage's power. Upon leaving, Uchiha reveals that he had made all that up, he has no idea who's property that was and that no one will ever know the true location of the Shinoba residence. Uchiha and Choi continue into the hills, where they climb up a silo and 'borrow' bikes from locals, racing each other up and down slopes. Finally, the pair pull up to the observatory, walking around and taking in the view. Uchi thinks it's dumb, so they return to the city. The date is ended in typical fashion, a crash and a trip to the hospital.

Racing Date

After Choi hops on Uchiha's smoke monster (motorcycle) and getting pulled over for a traffic stop by Jordan Steele, they manage to talk their way out of it at which point Choi suggests that they hang out with Brenda and possibly Saab for a double date. After meeting up with Brenda and Saab being out of town, Mel replaces Saab after Choi mentions that there's a "car show" (race) happening at Voodoo Docks and they should all go together. Mel tags along in Brenda's Issi; Uchiha with Choi in her Pariah. When they arrive at the docks Uchi gets tackled off the edge into the water where despite Choi not being able to swim very well, she searched for him but had no luck; He ended up swimming back himself.
The first race of the night is from the docks all the way to Paleto with Choi driving, despite starting off decently the pair end up getting 4th. They end up meeting with the other racers at the Paleto gas station where they wait for everyone to set up, this time the race is back to the city. Uchiha wanted to drive despite being drunk, as the race begins he does pretty well, repeating "hold on tight" multiple times until they crash on the highway. They are supportive of each other throughout the remainder of the race despite coming in last place.
The final race of the night starts at Benny's where not even 10 seconds into the race Choi got ejected after crashing, but continued on despite being injured and slowly bleeding out. They push forward towards the end, so far in last place they see cars coming back the opposite way from the finish line. As they are about to get to the finish line, in typical Choi/Uchi date fashion someone passes out, this time Choi behind the wheel. Uchiha, listening to and singing lyrics of I'll remember by Madonna in his earbuds, slings Choi over his shoulder and starts the long drive back to the hospital saying: "Trust your heart, never let anything tell you you can't be you, cuz look at where its got ya". To which she replies: "Yea. Passed out in the middle of the road". Uchi says it could be worse.
As they enter the city they get pulled over, but are free to go, as Choi was downed (and they were rushing to get treatment). Straight after they are let go, Uchi crashed and disabled the car entirely. Desperate to get Choi to the hospital, Uchi tried to acquire a new vehicle by holding up a local. He ended up having to kill the local, because they started driving away. (This is the second time Uchiha has killed for Choi.) 
They use the stolen car, and arrive at the hospital and get treated by local doctors. In the back of the hospital Choi hugs Uchi, and says he's "goog" (despite the fact he just killed someone). The two end the night talking outside of the hospital. Choi tells Uchiha "Good job back there", to which (in typical Uchiha fashion) he replied "I know." He backed up his motorcycle, and told Choi to "stay safe and goog night", as he rode away (thus completing his self-cuck in Uchiha Style).

Choi's Trust Level: 100
Khloe (Pink Haired "Sakura-chan")

Khloe is an EMT, she is very nice to Uchiha and likes to give him hugs. Khloe called Uchiha and said, a stranger was in her bed and for him to come to her house. Uchiha quickly drives there and she gives him a tour of the house and they never go to her bedroom. They rarely text each other.
When asked if she was jealous of Uchiha's and Choi's relationship, she pleaded the fifth.
Emma Dupont

A one time thing with Dupontwhen she pulled Uchiha over for speeding.

Brittany Angel

Once Uchiha called Officer Angel m'lady, and flirted with her.

Kayden (Ghost "Sakura-chan")

At one point, Kayden was a ghost, and Uchiha had to "fuck her back to life". Jordan wasn't happy about this, since she is his second wife.
Ellie Dono

Ellie Dono used to be Uchiha's personal taxi driver.
Rose Edwards

Rose used to be Uchiha's assistant at the Detective Firm.
Jean ("LS Thot")

Jordan Steele's first wife - Uchiha meets a new Sakura-chan, who is down to fuck. Jean gave him her number and he called her later that day.


100% platonic friend with, absolutely no benefits.
Thalia Hayes

Thalia is Uchiha's therapist; Uchiha has had two therapy sessions with her.
Carmella Corset ("THOT")

Carmella Corset is a "working woman" on the streets of Los Santos. She piqued Uchiha's interest due to the the way she looked. Uchiha met Carmella after Vinny called her to set up a meeting at the Vinewood Bowl, in order for her to mess with Ramee. The plan backfired, as Ramee set up Uchiha; making Carmella mess with him instead.
Lana Valentine
Lana now works as his assistant after her break up with her ex, Carl, and had went to him suggesting that he could be her rebound. He soon called her after to ask her to be his assistant in detective work. The two have a complicated relationship where both at times get into different arguments that sometimes can lead into situations where they might shoot at each other the next while the other they get along well.


Mr. Chang

Uchiha's best friend, rival, leader and co-creator of Chang Gang. During the early times that Uchiha was in the city, they would fight each other in big battles (off the construction crane, top of Mount Chiliad, top of Miriam Turner Overpass Bridge, and the swamp). They usually rob stores or the vault together, with other members of Chang Gang. They run a detective firm and The Dragon's Dojo together. Chang put together an initiation for Uchiha to join Chang Gang, where Chang was the "Final Boss".

Melbert Rickenbacker

Uchiha's somewhat best friend; Mel is part of Prune Gang. During the early times in the city, Uchiha would hang out with Mel and Prune Gang most of the time. When Uchiha was involved with Mother's FamilyMel shot Uchiha in the back of head, causing Uchiha to lose his left eye. Mel had been manipulated by Tim Lee and Mother, and was under the impression that Uchiha was trying to set him up. This conflict was resolved after Mel discovered the truth, and explained the situation to Uchiha; asking for forgiveness.
Mel has also accompanied Uchiha during fights against Chang. During the swamp fight, Chang dumped Mel's Lambo (named Maria) in the swamp, after getting hit with a machete.
Ramee El-Rahman

A friend of Uchiha's; he is part of the Chang Gang and creator of "SBS" (Small Brain Syndrome). Ramee was the first person that Uchiha talked with about there being different realms existing. During a detective case, Ramee was possessed by a demon. Uchiha, Chang, and Jospeh had to do an exorcism on him at the church, and then again at the dam.
Ramee helped Uchiha with bail, and was the first person to tell Uchiha that he was part of Chang Gang. They have a good friendship, and get along with each other.
Vinny Pistone

A friend of Uchiha's who is a crazy Italian, and also a part of the Chang Gang. In the early days, Vinny would accompany Chang during his fights against Uchiha, where Vinny would call Uchiha a freak every time they ran into each other. Ever since Uchiha got closer with Chang Gang, they have grown closer.
As Uchiha grew closer, Vinny would charge Uchiha less money to fix his car, and would pay more for the pixerium Uchiha sold to him. Vinny also helped out Uchiha with paying for his bail during his court case.

Criminal Record

Gang Afilliated.png
  • Accessory to Robbery x2
  • Assault x1 
  • Assault on a Peace Officer x1 
  • Assault with Deadly Weapon x6 
  • Attempted Manslaughter x1 
  • Criminal Possession of a Firearm [Class 1] x20 
  • Criminal Possession of a Firearm [Class 2] x5 
  • Criminal Use of a Firearm x2 
  • Escaping Custody x1 
  • Evading x4 
  • Failure to Obey Traffic Control Devices x2 
  • First Degree Speeding x2 
  • Identity Theft x1 
  • Impersonating a Peace Officer x2 
  • Joyriding x5 
  • Kidnapping x3 
  • Misdemeanor Possession of Controlled Dangerous x1 
  • Misdemeanor Possession of Crack x2 
  • Murder x1 
  • Negligent Driving x1 
  • Obstruction of Justice x2 
  • Reckless Evading x5 
  • Resisting Arrest x12 
  • Robbery x3 
  • Second Degree Speeding x1 
  • Tampering With a Vehicle x1 
  • Unlawful Imprisonment x3 

Fun Facts

  • Uchiha ordered his legs off the Dark Web.
  • Uchiha learned how to pick up women from the video game Super Seducer.
  • Uchiha likes to tell mother jokes/burns. (1)
  • Uchiha helped Snake with the Bovice prison break.
  • Uchiha helped Bovice get a clean ID.
  • Uchiha went to a concert at an empty bar to watch a man sing a song for Mother.
  • Mr. Kebun is Uchiha's mortal enemy, mentor, and business partner.
  • Uchiha hates blackjack and racing.
  • Uchiha once ramped Lil Erf's car onto some power poles. (1)
  • Uchiha once told Karen to drive FAST! resulting in her being ejected from her car and dying. (1)
  • Uchiha wanted to sue Nino for defecation of character because he said he shoved eggs up his ass.
  • Uchiha has a cool Sakura-chan car and a motorcycle he calls 'the smoke monster'. (1)
  • Uchiha once did a pretty sick back-flip while in prison. (1)
  • Uchiha often takes on the persona of "Fish boy" and "Rick Grimes" during heists/missions and likes to ask for marshmallows. (1, 2)
  • Uchiha was Jordan Steele's best man for his wedding that they had outside of the courthouse.
  • Uchiha helped Joe Mullet, and Zelda Harth on a surprise practice mission to rescue John Pliskin.
  • Uchiha calls women Sakura-chan or LS thots.
  • Uchiha is co-owner of The Dragon's Dojo according to Chang.
  • Uchiha's feather tattoo on his right side represents his bird feet, the tattoo on his chest represents Boston Dynamics, and the tattoo on his right elbow was made by his drunk friend while they were both high on LSD.
  • Uchiha always enters the 420 realm during rare late nights hanging out with Chang.
  • Uchiha succeeds in his first getaway driving role during a heist with Boe and Pablo.
  • Uchiha robbed a convenience store twice by himself successfully.
  • Uchiha murdered (PERMA) El Muerto by stabbing him in the back with a knife in Chang's Dojo.
  • Uchiha is the first to be the dragon trophy champion.
  • Uchiha is one of the only convicted cop killers to still walk the streets, avoiding the death penalty in court.
  • Uchiha shot down his first person with Ricky Robins during a robbery gone wrong.
  • Uchiha's rap "Mother Don't Know" (
  • Uchiha's rap "Jail Cell" (
  • Uchiha's rap "Top Notch Killer"
  • Uchiha has shot down Kael Soze and Bobby Smith.
  • Uchiha has the second sword in the city that Chang gave him after the battle for the cursed sword.


  • "See Ya, Fucko!"
  • "I don't expect you to understand."
  • "You got got."
  • "Prone Bone Style."
  • "I could have dropped you like a sack of rice."
  • "Relacc"
  • "Goog"
  • "LS Thots"
  • "I'm simply jesting"
  • "The best of the best of the best, Sir! With honors."
  • "Oishii desu ne"
  • "SHA"
  • "It's your life, take a chance"
  • "Diagnostics suggest..."
  • "Natural selection, baby."
  • "A lot of people want to know just who I am, well I'm Uchiha."
  • "My old man is Jecht, and Jecht is sin"
  • "You ever just do some DMT and listen to Nickleback?"
  • "SLEEP"
  • I’m only here to procreate. I cannot lose sight of that mission.
  • "Be My Wife!"
  • "You're just a dumb old docktor"
  • "What happened to me"
  • "What's the point"
  • "I have slept with my own mother."
  • "SYAT!"
  • "Sounds like the same old dilly dally shilly shally"

Openings / Endings


Uchiha Jones' Theme

Cyr -55 Hoes



Played By: Cyr
Characters: Uchiha JonesJoe CaineJoe KerrFred HurstRick RhymesVincent HuntGunther GeigerAlex JonesRemedy WilliamsAJ WestBob CruzDisgusto MeroniLola FrappePaul DinghRaggy RogersSar MagnusLeonardo Day-LewisThe FatherKhan Di'SendoMaul Dingh