Uchiha Jones is a member of the Chang Gang.
He is roleplayed by Cyr aka Anime Phuckface. Pegi18 [Eng Dub]
Born in Kansas, Japan he lived with his parents until the age of four, until they were brutally murdered in front of him. A man took him in and trained him as a Shinoba. At the age of 18, his sensei confessed that he beheaded his parents. Searching for his sensei, Uchiha moves to Los Santos.
Uchiha speaks English and Kansas-ese, a mixture of Japanese and English.
Cyr has based Uchiha on video games such as Final Fantasy and anime such as Naruto. He uses music to set the mood for his streams.
Uchiha calls people "fucko" which is a term of endearment from Kansas, Japan. People who don't know him think he's insulting them.
His favorite Doctor is Choi, she has helped him multiple times when he was injured in combat. She knows his cybernetic upgrades and how to fix them. Multiple EMT's also know about his upgrades and how to treat his injuries. The Doctors at Pillbox Medical have become accustomed to Uchiha's Cybernetic upgrades and how to fix and heal him.
Mother invited Uchiha and others to a Melbert themed party (Mel-Con) at the strip club. Outto Tune Tyrone sang Mel a song, Vinny did a striptease, and Kelly did a bike show. Mel blew up a bunch of cars and burned himself and Uchiha got run over by Jordan at the end of the filler episode. (non-canon according to cyr)
Uchiha saw Vinny at Pillbox and they fought. He tells Choi that he wants to kill Vinny. Uchiha drove around on his motorcycle looking for Vinny because he wanted to beat him up. After a while of having no luck Vinny called him. They met in front of his house and fought, both of them got knocked down to the ground and in the end, they made up and everything returned to normal.
The Egg Situation Edit
Uchiha wanted to sue Nino Chavez for defecation because he said he shoved eggs up his ass - Uchiha claims to have lost business at his detective firm because of this rumor. He asked Dr. Choi for help finding a lawyer and she called Erin, a newcomer to the role. They meet out front the courthouse and Uchiha explained the case - only after revealing all the info does Erin reveal she had already been hired by Nino. Angry, Uchiha left and decided to hire Chang for SBS court instead.
Upon meeting up with Chang, they devised a plan to frame Nino instead. They gathered Choi and Vinny and headed to the chicken factory, the latter changing into a disguise so that he resembled Mr. Chavez. The group staged a video so it seemed like Nino has been the one shoving eggs up his ass (video) - Vinny had to commit to the act for it to be believable. The group met with Nino at the mansion and showed him the video, he questioned them in anger and left.
Uchiha and Chang debuted the video to the city at an event meant for Brenda and Saab's two month anniversary. Everyone at the event posted on twitter about the video, tweeting things such as #NinoChaveggz and #NinoShoveggzUpHisAss. Nino got a text from Saab, asking if he actually does what the video presents (1) - he became extremely angry and claimed to want to kill Uchiha.
Chang made a meeting to talk with Nino about the situation, and Uchiha put on a disguise and got into his trunk to listen in on the conversation. During the discussion, the trunk was opened and Uchiha was forced to escape - luckily they had previously beaten up a local on a bike which Uchiha quickly got away on (1).
In revenge for his actions, Nino planned to make a video of his own, depicting Uchiha and Choi in the act of egg shoving. He employed Karen to play Choi and Garret as Uchiha and Chang to help out. (video) He aimed to host a city-wide event with a cash prize and show everyone the video. However, unbeknownst to Nino, Chang had provided the location of filming to Uchiha, who, in true shinoba style, had sneaked onto the scene and found evidence that the video was a hoax (video).
- Uchiha ordered his legs off the Dark Web.
- Uchiha learned how to pick up women from the video game Super Seducer.
- Uchiha likes to tell mother jokes/burns. (1)
- Uchiha helped Snake with the Bovice prison break.
- Uchiha helped Bovice get a clean ID.
- Uchiha went to a concert at an empty bar to watch a man sing a song for Mother.
- Mr. Chang is Uchiha's mortal enemy, mentor, and business partner.
- Uchiha hates blackjack and racing.
- Uchiha once ramped Lil Erf's car onto some power poles. (1, 2, 3 )
- Uchiha once told Karen to drive FAST! resulting in her being ejected from her car and dying (1)
- Uchiha wanted to sue Nino for defecation of character because he said he shoved eggs up his ass.
- Uchiha has a cool Sakura-chan car and a motorcycle he calls 'the smoke monster'. (1)
- Uchiha once did a pretty sick back-flip while in prison (1)
- Uchiha often takes on the persona of "Fish boy" and "Rick Grimes" during heists/missions and likes to ask for marshmallows. (1, 2)
- Uchiha was Jordan Steele's best man for his wedding that they had outside of the courthouse.
- Uchiha helped Joe Mullet, and Zelda Harth on a surprise practice mission to rescue John Pliskin
- Uchiha calls women Sakura-chan or LS thots.
- Uchiha is co-owner of The Dragon's Dojo according to Chang.
- Uchiha's feather tattoo on his right side represents his bird feet, the tattoo on his chest represents Boston Dynamics, and the tattoo on his right elbow was made by his drunk friend while they were both high on LSD.
- Uchiha always enters the 420 realm during rare late nights hanging out with Chang.
- Uchiha succeeds in his first getaway driving role during a heist with Boe and Pablo.
- Uchiha robbed a convenience store twice by himself successfully.
- Uchiha murdered (PERMA) El Muerto by stabbing him in the back with a knife in Chang's Dojo
- Uchiha is the first to be the dragon trophy champion.
- Uchiha is the only convicted cop killer to still walk the streets, avoiding the death penalty in court.
- Uchiha shot down his first person with Ricky Robbins during a robbery gone wrong.
- Uchiha's rap "Mother Don't Know" https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/KindLuckyKoalaMingLee
- Uchiha's rap "Jail Cell" https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/OptimisticBelovedClintChocolateRain
6th Realm Edit
The 6th Realm is a place of higher existence. Very little knowledge is known about the 6th Realm. Uchiha has claimed to have gone there for a long period of time. He explains that the portal to the 6th Realm only opens up every 500 earth years. The only ways to enter are DMT and high-intensity sex with a Sakura-chan or a Portal Kombat tournament.
Mr. Chang has said he has been to the 6th Realm.
Heck Realm Edit
The Heck Realm is basically hell with a lot of demons planning to invade the Earth Realm.
Earth Realm Edit
The Earth Realm is where humans exist. Uchiha has to save the mortals from the incoming demon invasion from Heck Realm.
7th Realm Edit
the 7th Realm is made up by Ramee. Its utter nonsense and does not exist according to Uchiha.
9th Realm Edit
Uchiha Jones is suspected of murdering BCSO Deputy Tony Tiger and given the 9's (held until trial). Uchi refers to being in prison as the 9th realm due to his sentencing, even writing on the cafeteria wall 'Welcome to the 9th realm'.
"SAY IT! YOU THINK IM A FREAK!"
"See Ya Fucko!"
"I don't expect you to understand."
"You got got."
"Prone Bone Style."
"I could have dropped you like a sack of rice."
"I'm simply jesting"
"The best of the best of the best, Sir! With honors."
"Oishii desu ne"
"It's your life, take a chance"
"Natural selection, baby."
"A lot of people want to know just who I am, well I'm Uchiha."
"My old man is Jecht, and Jecht is sin"
"You ever just do some DMT and listen to Nickleback?"
“I’m only here to procreate. I cannot lose sight of that mission.”
"Be My Wife!"
"You're just a dumb old docktor"== Signature Moves ==
- Ichipunch (1 , 2)
- Prone Bone Style (1)
- Clam Stacking
- Car Hood Sliding
- Self Cucking
- Motorcycle crashing (1 ,2 ,3 ,4, 5)
Inner Monologues Edit
Uchiha has dark inner monologues in which his vision turns red. They happen after interacting with other players.
First Arc Edit
Need info on arc before he lost his limbs.
Nugget Arc Edit
Also known as Chocobo Arc
Uchiha wakes up in the hospital with no more limbs because Ricky and his gang kidnapped him and took his limbs. Ricky needed them to walk again.
Uchiha acquires prosthetic legs which resemble huge bird legs (Chocobo) from Boston Dynamics. He claims that they sent the wrong prosthetics. During this time he goes around telling people he lays eggs and they can't have them. People call him a freak because of his bird legs and beat him up a lot. His eggs become coveted for their nutritional value. three eggs equal three lives
- Uchiha Jones s01e36 (Dubbed)
Depression Arc Edit
Also known as Devil May Cry Arc
Uchiha acquires upgrades from Boston Dynamics in collaboration with Pillbox Medical, at a price. Dealing with becoming more machine than man, Uchiha expresses great edgelord depression in nearly every conversation he has. It is during this stage where Uchiha seeks purpose by developing a signature move, later to become known as the Ichipunch.
Incest Kun Arc Edit
After accepting being denied by Sakura-chan, Uchiha expresses feelings of attraction towards his adopted mother.
Heck Realm Arc Edit
After being knocked out failing to rob someone's house, he wakes up in Heck Realm. There's an alien standing at the front desk in Pillbox Medical. All the lights are off, everything is dark and foggy.
Race Arc Edit
Day 3 - Mel joins the team early on for a short period, titled their "scribe" by Uchiha. Uchiha accidentally murders Charles while climbing up a crane (1). The first set of clues eventually lead them to a bridge which holds the checkpoint at the very top - they climb but Uchiha falls and Snake has to complete the challenge alone. Snake locates the second clue before retrieving Uchiha from the Pink Cage. The third clue is on the top of The Rockford plaza, where Uchiha reveals a hidden ability to list mythical creatures. Clue four is located at the movie studio - Uchiha falls again. They then return to the aforementioned crane, where Sun Moon awaits as clue five. He tells them to read a Korean movie script aloud. Finally, the team is tasked with reaching the peak of Mount Chiliad on foot. Uchiha gives his Scorpion to Snake so that he can defend them from murder kitties, one of which Uchiha eats. The team reaches the top but is closely beaten by Nino Chavez who is partnered with Irwin Dundee.
Day 4 - This race required a "monster" costume, Snake and Uchiha dress up as Polar bears. Uchiha is disgusted by people treating his 'foot shape' as part of a costume (1). The Sakura-chan car is debuted at the beginning of the race. These clues are located in water-based locations on the outskirts of the city. They acquire a boat, completing locations one and two with some difficulty. Hoping to find the next area, they dive beneath Humane labs but are unsuccessful. In order to have a chance at winning, Snake and Uchiha acquire a helicopter, helping them find the next locations. Location four requires one team member to leave and change clothes, the other tasked with guessing the theme of the outfit they will return in - 'Ninja, builder or sexy'. Snake returns in a "ninja" outfit as guessed and they proceed to find Sun Moon. They are told to read another Korean movie script before their final task of running to the south side tool store, buying a bucket and bringing it back.
Detective Arc Edit
Chang becomes a private detective and invites Uchiha to join him. Their office is located in the back of the strip club. Later Vinny and Ramee join the detective firm. Multiple people have joined and helped them with cases. They have a 100% case closed record. Rose was hired as Uchiha's assistant. Chang has a new top-secret location for the detective firm.
The First Brenda Case EditLang Buddha hires Chang to find out if Brenda is cheating on Saab, little does he know Uchiha and Brenda have a complicated flirtatious relationship. Chang and Uchiha do recon to get evidence. They spy on Saab and Buddha having a conversation, Uchicha takes notes. They go to the hospital to talk to Brenda. Buddha "dies" in the hospital bed. Chang tells Saab that Buddha said, "to forget about Brenda and fuck other women." He tells Vinny and Uchiha to seduce Brenda, they bring her to the mansion to for a setup. Chang feeds her lies, and the plan fails. Brenda, Saab, Chang, and Vinny talk it out on the sidewalk while Uchiha spies in a bush. Chang tells them to break up for a day so he can have a 100% case closed record. Case Closed
The Cheating Pimp Case Edit
Erin seeks help with her pimp boyfriend who she believes is cheating on her with a pink-haired woman. She gives Uchiha her number. Erin calls Uchiha for any info. Uchiha says that Alabaster said: "ya im cheating bitch, she a hoe". Uchiha tells Erin to try and get under Alabaster skin to see if he really cares about her or not. Uchiha says, "I bet I can make him cry."
The Police Officer Case Edit
Officer AJ Hunter wants them to investigate Conan Clarkson for any diseases. (Chang does the rest)
The Scammer Case Edit
Uchiha posts an ad in the yellow pages to bait the scam caller. The scammer calls him and tells him he has a lot of charges on his record and needs to pay a fine for his warrant. He tries to connect to his phone with fast support but fails. Uchiha goes to the bank, the scammer tells him to take out 999 dollars out of his account. The scammer tells Uchiha to meet him at tool shop 2 of 2. He tells Uchiha to buy a gift card, then tells him to buy three body armor. The scammer attacks Uchiha with a hatchet in the bushes. Chang shoots at the scammer but he escapes. The EMT come and bring Uchiha to Pillbox Medical. After waking up Uchiha witnesses Chang named a hero for saving him and the scammer is caught. Case Closed
The Dungeons and Dragons Case Edit
A nerd calls Uchiha from his yellow pages ad for help with a mystery. Uchiha meets the two nerds in the parking lot under the highway. After a bunch of arguing Uchiha turns into the Dungeon Master and they proceed to Role Play and roll dice. The mystery was never solved because Kevin Shaw called for help. Case Closed
The Kevin Shaw Case Edit
Kevin Shaw calls because he's stranded in the ocean with other people. Uchiha steals a boat and saves them, the EMT land a helicopter on the beach and give medical assistance. Back at Pillbox Medical they thank Uchiha and call him a hero. Case Closed
The Jordan Case Edit
Something about a woman harassing Jordan.
The Ghost Car Case Edit
The Demon Ramee Case Edit
Ramee gets possessed by a demon, Uchiha and Chang get help from Saint Jasper for an exorcism. They burn the body twice and piss on him (holy water) then throw him off the dam into the water. Chang jumps in to save Ramee, they bring him to Pillbox Medical. Case Closed
The Thalia Hayes Case Edit
Nino Chavez talks to Uchiha and Chang about a girl hes currently having sex with who's getting to emotionally attached. The plan is for Uchiha (fuckbeast 4000) to fuck her prone bone style.
The Bovice Case Edit
The 2nd Bovice Case Edit
The Who is Jesus Case Edit
Buddha wants to know some information on Jesus. Uchiha believes Jesus might be willing to give him some information as long as he continues to act vulnerable.
The Rudi Rinsen Case Edit
"He woke up in his house, bloodied up, blood everywhere. Face wounds. Missing right eye. Note on the ground "Friend, I found you took you to witch doctor, took care of you, eye is gone" No idea whatsoever what happend. Rudi was having a few beers at his OWN bar. Last thing he remembers wasn't a result of drinking too much. Driving school with Tessa, Reid called him MULTIPLE times. Called Tess multiple times. Nobody picked up. couple hours later he called Tess again. She picked up, she said he heard his phone ringing multiple times but he was focused on driving. She also told Reid that she left him in harmony at the repair shop. Apparently Rudi took a phone call, took a few steps back he appeared agitated and said for her to leave him there because he would get picked up. She doesn't know the name of the individual who called."
- Doesn't suspect anyone from his shop is a lead.
- No current enemies.
- No suspicion that Tessa is involved.
- He doesn't recall anyone in Harmony at the time.
- He doesn't recall anyone following them during the driving test.
Big cash reward.
The Jordan Stabbing Case Edit
Chang stabbed Jordan for $20,000. Jordan wants to know who paid him to do it. In reward for the information, he's going to let Uchiha and Chang park at the hospital without a tow. Uchiha tells Chang, he agrees to tell him who did it but at a cost. They take Jordan to an undisclosed room under the ruse that they work for homeland security. They talk about Jordan's past. Chang spills the beans and says it was Allen. They drop a bunch of shit in the room and Uchiha lights a campfire causing Jordan and himself to pass out from the smoke. The cops breach the room and everyone catches on fire. Case Closed
The Zack Case Edit
Kevin Shaw wants Uchiha to investigate Zack.
The Ghost Sakura Case Edit
Kayden calls Uchiha from the grave, she wants to be resurrected. She said Jordan fucked her to death. They go pick her up in a parking lot and Chang drives them up a mountain to start the ritual. A bunch of hillbilly folk starts to shoot after them. Uchiha gets shot and they drive him to a house. In his state, Kayden gives him CRP, Uchiha pulls Kayden back from the dead. They walk outside and look at the sunrise in the rain. Case Closed
Inception Arc Edit
also is known as Faintception ArcAfter crashing his car with Mel, Uchiha faints, then faints within that faint, and then faints within the faint within the faint, entering faintception limbo. After being transported with a helicopter to Pillbox Medical, Uchiha wakes up convinced everyone is projections from the faintception. He can't remember where he was before entering the faintception and wants to get out. He starts to wonder if he might actually be inside Mel's faint since they fainted around the same time. He meets Mel, who takes out his anger for Eugene on Uchiha, probably confused after spending too much time in limbo. Uchiha reveals to Mel, that his shoko doesn't work, which leads him to believe he's three faints deep. He thinks he has a mission here, but he can't remember what. He asks Mel to help him get out of the faintception. Mel gets a call from Eugene's phone number, but it's not Eugene calling, which reinforces the belief that Uchiha and Mel are stuck inside Mel's faint. Uchiha wants to jump off a crane to get out of the third faint, but Mel's projection of Eugene tries to stop him. Uchiha tries to take out a vehicle, but since Mel doesn't believe Uchiha has any money, he is unable to. He starts climbing the crane at the construction site, believing the fall will give him the kick to get out of the faint. Uchiha calls 911 saying he's gonna jump off the crane, to which they respond with "please don't do it. It isn't worth it". He calls Khloe asking about the first time they met, to find out if she is a projection or not. She doesn't answer the question. Uchiha reveals to Khloe that his shoko is his totem. She tries to convince him that this is the real world.
I'm waiting for a Crane. A crane that will take me far away. And i know that i hope where the crane will take me, but i can't be sure, but it doesn't matter. Because we'll be together. - Uchiha to Khloe
Uchiha tries to explain the faintception to Khloe, but she does not understand. She climbs up the crane and meets Uchiha, who feels that this Khloe is a bit different, probably because of Mel's perception of her. MJ also climbs up the crane. She says she remembers his mission, to repopulate the earth and kill his sensei. Uchiha wonders why he needed to go three layers deep to complete the mission. Mel stands on the crane across the one Uchiha is on. He says the mission is to push Khloe off the crane. He says it will wake them up because they are in her dream. Uchiha starts to wonder if he can trust Mel since he might be a misprojection of Khloe's security. Uchiha asks Mel when they first met, something he cannot remember. Mel tries to convince Uchiha he's real, but Uchiha is very skeptical. Mel suddenly remembers the first time they met, which makes Uchiha believe they are in Mel's faint. Mel says that if Uchiha pushes MJ off the crane, he will wake up, which means they will all wake up. Uchiha asks how many are in the faintception, to which he answers "the entire city". Uchiha doesn't know who to trust since he can't remember the mission. Uchiha then wonders if he's in his own faint. Khloe left to a call, which makes Mel believe the faint belongs to the other EMS MJ, who stayed. Uchiha asks MJ if she induced the faint. She says a simulated fall can give the kick without potentially killing him. Uchiha contemplates whether he should jump or not. After talking to MJ he decides to leave the crane and find another way to leave the faint.
Uchiha feels apathy toward other people because he believes they're all projections. Uchiha gets another call from Mel, who says he's still on top of the crane. Uchiha thinks him and Mel might be connected within the faint. Mel wants Uchiha to catch him. He says he's invincible and that they are in his faint and if he jumps off the crane they might exit the faint. Uchiha says that since they are three layers into the faint, time goes 3x slower, and they can do whatever they want. Mel wants to go 1 layer up and gets Uchiha to climb up the crane he's on. He meets Mel on top of the crane. Mel picks up Uchiha, saying he will drop him off to get him to level 2. Mel says they have to wake up together, and jumps off the crane with Uchiha.
Both get severely injured on the impact and instantly believe they are in the real world because of the extreme pain. Uchiha says they might need a higher jump because the projection is very high quality. They both get transported to the hospital. Uchiha wakes up from the bed thinks they might be in level 2. He talks to Mel and says they're now in level 2. He wants him to ichi-punch him. Uchiha needs to have sex to see if his shoko works, it will reveal whether or not they are in the real world.
All of a sudden a mysterious voice speaks to Uchiha, claiming to be God. Uchiha is confused. Mel takes a suicide pill, Uchiha takes one as well. Uchiha wakes up in the hospital bed. He checks his shoko, which seems in check to him. He goes up and hugs Khloe, asking how long he was out for. He finds Mel and says they're finally out. He walks by a police officer talking to MJ who saved him about a potential 51-50. He runs out of the hospital. Now he just wants to see Choi.
Stripper Arc Edit
"You've been a very, very bad boy, Uchiha." - Mother
During a Ladies' Night hosted by Mother at the Vanilla Unicorn, Uchiha is pressured by many of the women in attendance (namely Brenda and Karen) to perform a striptease for them. While performing, Uchiha begins to question the moral and social implications from being a stripper; asking Mother if she is “disgusted with what your son has become?”. The first people that were at Vanilla Unicorn Ladies' Night was Mother, Uchiha, Shaw, Ellie, Brenda, Karen, Tori, and Freya. Uchiha receives a call from Chang and as time passes Chips and Windsong come to join the crowd. Chang, Randy and Taco joins in as strippers including Allen to help Uchiha and Shaw entertain the women. The Vanilla Unicorn Event ends as the after party is going to take place at the yacht to continue ladies' night.
Shaw drives a motor boat picking up Mother, Uchiha, Karen, and Ellie to take to the yacht. On the yacht, Uchiha starts to stand next to Ellie as they start saying random made up quotes to each other as Mother watches them. Later Brenda shows up as she and Uchiha start having a conversation telling him she has a boyfriend. Uchiha calls himself a snack to Brenda and still rejects him in front of everyone on the yacht as they were eavesdropping on their conversation. Uchiha takes off from the conversation as Brenda follows him to continue talking more. Brenda handcuffs Uchiha in front of everybody to take him back inside the yacht to have another private conversation as everybody eavesdrops again. Brenda asks him our we goog or not goog? Uchiha tells her that she is like a pen that don't work that you throw away and the coversation ends with Brenda uncuffing Uchiha.
As time passes the sunrise starts to begin as Uchiha walks up behind Mother and Ellie to tell Mother "he is never going to find a fucking suitable partner". Mother and Ellie tells him "he doesn't need one" as Uchiha tells Mother "a man has needs". Mother tells him "he can pay people to help with that or ask a close friend". Uchiha says "yeah whatever" as Ellie tells him "he will find someone one day". The conversation continues as Sara randomly shows up in a hospital helicopter to see if anyone needed medical with Mother being the only one. Everyone takes off as Uchiha and Mother are left on the yacht as they talk and end up jumping into the water to swim to shore. Uchiha is barely able to swim since his legs are not working properly after being kicked by Mother after he accidentally punched her when they were on the yacht. Mother makes it to shore first and tells him should she call EMS? Uchiha replies saying "Mother I ain't no bitch" and "I rather die walking" as he faints right after. Mother carries him for a little while and calls for EMS as Sara shows up again in a ambulance.
Fan Dub Arc Edit
Uchiha went to Pillbox Medical to get fixed up; while there a new doctor messed with his OS and prosthetics. The Doctor turned off Uchiha's Japanese accent giving him an American one. Uchiha believed he had achieved his ultimate prone bone form and went rogue in search of LS thots. Chang was very upset about this and with the help of Karen and Garrett managed to kidnap Uchiha and take him up north in an attempt to reboot his system at a back-alley surgeon. However since none of them had any cash, they had to return to Pillbox and convince the Doctors to reverse their upgrades.
Stoner Arc Edit
During a scuffle between Mel and Uchiha, Mel ends up stealing Uchiha's Sakura Mobile from him. Mel changes the design of the Sakura-chan into a old metal design and the tires into off road with pink rims. Later through the day Mel calls up Uchiha telling him to come get his car while Uchiha was hanging with Chang. Mel tells Uchiha his ping and Chang drives Uchiha to the destination where Mel was located. Chang drops off Uchiha around the corner and Chang goes around the other side to see if they both could capture Mel. Mel ends up blowing up Uchiha's Sakura Mobile in a alley way and escapes from climbing up a ladder to jump from roof to roof from the small buildings. Uchiha finds Mel even later through the day and ichi punches him from behind in front of Integrity apartments.
The next day Uchiha comes out of Integrity apartment and runs into Mel and Eugene. Mel wants Uchiha to stay away from him and Uchiha goes to the garage to get his car which is all fucked up and broken. Uchiha calls up a mechanic from Harmony Repair to fix up his vehicle and heads towards it on the freeway. Uchiha ends up crashing from a crazy local flipping his vehicle on its side and ends up calling Tessa for help. Tessa comes with Pixie to help Uchiha as Pixie hits his vehicle to flip it back over for him. Uchiha thanks them and leaves to arrive at Harmony Repair to hand over his vehicle to get it repaired. Mel calls up Uchiha to see what he was doing so Uchiha tells him where he is at and Mel tells him that he's coming for him. The repair was taking a long time as Mel shows up in his disguise that Uchiha seen him in a bunch of times on a stolen motorcyle. Right as Mel shows up, Uchiha gets a phone call from Choi and answers it to talk to her. She talks about her being gone and Uchiha jokingly tells her that he almost forgot about her. Uchiha tells her he's having problems and that he's close to being broke. Choi offers to help him but, he immediately declines since he doesn't want to use her for her money like that and doesn't take help from anybody. She tells him she will feel happy to see him and he instantly turns back into his self cucking way telling her yeah yeah yeah i'll come see you at the hospital later I guess.
Uchiha hangs up the phone and Mel instantly starts taunting Uchiha that he will catch him off his guard. Mel starts talking about shooting up Negan then he will go after Uchiha next once he is done. Uchiha pays for his vehicle and instantly drives onto the road as Mel shoots up Uchiha's tires to scare him. Uchiha drives away quickly from Mel to hide his car behind a tree watching Mel drive past him without noticing him. Uchiha stores his car at Dollar Pills located by Harmony and instantly calls up Sun Moon for a helicopter ride since Uchiha doesn't have a gun on him to deal with Mel. Sun Moon picks up Uchiha with his helicopter and drops him off at the soccer field for a fee of three hundred dollars. Mel calls up Uchiha saying he was trying to shoot off a cockroach off his tire and Uchiha tells him you should aim better you old man. Mel gets mad hearing Uchiha call him old and tells him where the fuck are you? Uchiha tells him he is in Paleto doing oxy runs so he can get paid dollar bills as Mel instantly tells him he will find him and kill him. The phone call ends as Uchiha starts running into the city trying to reach the hospital since he didn't have a lockpick on him.
Mel calls up Uchiha once again saying the clock is ticking and where the fuck are you? I will find you and when I do I will kill bill.... Uchiha says Who's Bill? Mel says my daughter with two assassins after me and Uchiha replies with i'm packing some fucking heat so I'm going to tear Paleto down when I see you Mel I'm going to shoot you up big time. Mel instantly replies with I would love to see you try you slippery little cock waffle. You are what you eat and in Kansas Japan we eat alot of cock waffles Uchiha responds back. The phone call ends and Uchiha arrives in front of the hospital running into Choi. Choi tells him she was trying to get rid of a abandoned car that was blocking traffic and Uchiha helps her by kicking the car as Choi starts kicking it with him. The vehicles start hitting each other as they both run towards the hospital to talk to each other with Choi asking how has he been. Choi talks about Ricky Robbins suing her for punching him and filing a court case against her cause of that. Labarre walks by telling them I'll see you two love birds at court and tells Uchiha he has a shit loads of court cases against him. Uchiha immediately replies with FOR WHAT? Labarre replies with go look at the court documents. What the heck by Uchiha as Choi reminds him to look at the government website. Who would try to sue me? I dont't understand and I don't do anything wrong! Choi calms him down and reminds him that their using him to testify against her. Uchiha tells her he will lie to protect her to make her look goog in court and make Ricky look bab. Choi tells him she was the one that attached his limbs to Ricky and is suing her for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. She tells him not to lie in court and doesn't want him to go to jail. Baby i been in jail and Bovice whipped the shit out of me in there Uchiha responded back to her. Choi looks up the cases for him telling him Jack Sullivan and the police are suing him for identity theft for saying Ricky Robbins is Jack Sullivan.
Uchiha suffers from hearing loss from a truck explosion caused by Melbert. The only thing that helps him hear is smoking weed. (needs more info)
Dojo Arc Edit
The Two Uchihas Arc Edit
also known as Body Swap Arc
During a brain surgery, Doctor Choi blacks out and wakes up convinced that she is now Uchiha Jones consciousness in the her body. In this form, Choi is referred to as Uchoiha and wears his typical outfits (1,2,3,4,5). She tells people that Uchiha as Choi saw his shoko and ran off with it. During this time she hangs around Pillbox Medical harrasing people as Uchoiha. She uses her ghost shoko to revive people and give them IV's. Uchoiha tries to locate a Sakura-chan to procreate with, asking his personal assisant Rose to be his wife. Brenda tries to help Uchoiha by giving her a wooden shoko to replace her missing shoko. Uchiha arrives in the city, and is informed that Choi has gone crazy, thinking she is him. He concludes that the only way to return her to normal is to dress in her doctor attire to remind her of who she actually is. Uchiha returns to the hospital in the medical getup, though this only seems to further convince Uchoiha that they have switched bodies. Uchiha begins to question how people put up with him all the time if this is how he acts. At this point, Mel suggests shock therapy to return Choi to normal. In one of the rooms in Pillbox Medical, Mel takes out a tazer and shoots Uchoiha multiple times until Choi turns back to her normal self. (1)
Prison arc Edit
During an SBSO situation 'gone wrong' with Chang and Charles, Officer Tony Tyger is killed. Post to the event, Uchiha is downed and falls from the group vehicle. The police find him laying on the road about the scene of the killing and arrest him as suspect for the murder. While in hospital for his injuries, Chang and Charles attempt a rescue, taking down four cops. Its very nearly successful, but cut short by Vagos (who were at war with Chang gang at the time) rolling up and shooting down Chang.
Uchiha is transported to MRPD where he undergoes questioning. He tells the present officers about his life back in Kansas Japan and how he banged his own mother. While being held for interrogation, Uchiha sings songs to comfort himself, notably 'STILL' by Dr Dre, stating it represents a time where he was 'trapped in a dark room and had to dig for 8 hours to get out, but he was still going'.
He is given a sentencing of 'the 9s' (held until court) for murdering a police officer (allegedly) and is transported to prison with escort.
Vinny asks for the details of what happened, which Uchiha tells as though it were a movie plot. Vinny asks if Uchiha wants a sequel to that movie, involving 4 other main characters, hinting at a break out. Uchiha is hesitant at this point and tells Vinny that if he can't get a lawyer first, he agrees to it.
Choi offers her services in finding a good lawyer, and provides Uchiha with food, bandages and water. She is extremely worried, as she had been witness to David Barker's execution for the same charge and does not want the same outcome here. Choi warns against the repercussions of a prison break, despite how tempting it may sound.
Brocky Potage is also in prison at this time, and gives Uchiha a hard time, calling him a 'Virgin' and flirting with Choi.
Ramee, when visiting, reminds Uchiha of their willing to break him out. He seems relieved that the police were not pushing charges involving gun trafficking and crack dealing. Additionally, Uchiha asks him to 'jump' Brocky Potage for what he had done in prison, to which Ramee agress, and they exchange evil cackles.This plan ends up being carried out, and Brocky is shot and thrown into a lake.
Due to the current hesitance on the break, Chang and Uchiha decide over phone call that a care package is to be air dropped into the prison grounds, including a weapon, drugs, and so on, at 20:00 pm that day.
However, this plan is not taken out, as Choi arrives with Murphy in tow, a lawyer who is know to be very successful in court. They discuss the details of the charges and what happened, and Murphy is able to secure a Bail hearing at the court house. Uchiha is transported to court, where many people of the city gathered at the time. Murphy gives a strong statement, utilising Uchiha's reasonable good record (when looking at offences towards police officers, violence) and he is qualified for bail. The cost for this is given as $100'000 dollars, a sum which is to be returned if Uchiha appears to his court case. Chang gang step in and pay this fee (Chang, Vinny and Ramee) and Uchiha is released with the limitations that he cannot commit any offence lest he be returned to prison and the money forfeit.
Reformed Arc Edit
Also known as the 'good but not' arc
Uchiha, while out on bail, decides to 'reform' himself and make people realise that he is not a bad person. He dresses in an all white outfit and paints his car white, symbolising his now clean and pure state. He aims to align his Chi's and relacc.
Uchi believes that it would be good for his case to better himself in the eyes of the police force, and wants to hold an event called 'coffee with cops' which he asks Jordan about and he agrees to go. Later, Jordan convinces Uchiha to help him with a support group for alcoholics at pillbox medical, which Uchiha tweets about, trying to gain attendance 'come get drunk with a cop', as he believes promising drinks to people will get them in - getting the foot in the door tactic.
Uchiha's Initiation To Chang Gang Edit
Missions / Quests Edit
- Quest Accepted. Uchiha had to search for Alabaster Slim, multiple people told him he was missing. Apparently he wasn't missing at all, Gomer told Uchiha he was talking to him on the phone. Mission End
Fighting Tournaments Edit
Uchiha has joined many fighting tournaments but he has never won.
June 5th Fight Edit
"Episode 991" - Anime Phuckface
- Round 1: Uchiha wins vs Red, being cheered on by Choi.
- Round 2: Uchiha loses vs Buck.
- During the Battle Royale round, Uchiha hides on the side and wins because Eugene gets cuffed by Jordan for hitting him with a bat.
August 28th Chang's Dragon Dojo 1st Tournament Edit
After Uchiha gets bailed out, Chang decides to throw a tournament for the Dojo that participants must wear costumes and are allowed to use special powers "Weapons'. The tournament begins with OTT as the announcer, calling up each participant to fight in a one on one fight for each fighter that wins goes to the next round with the winner getting the dragon trophy.
Round 1 Edit
- Hatchet "Karen" VS Tim Horton "Doug Canada": Karen defeats Doug by using her hatchet.
- Ninja "Boe" VS Jack The Ripper " Ripley": Ripley defeats Boe by dodging him and landing the one two punch.
- Green Marijuana "Chawa" VS The Pipe "Mario": Chawa defeats Mario by punching him out.
- Patriotic Cthulhu "Kelly" VS Bitch Boy "Gladys": Kelly defeats Gladys by punching her out.
Round 2 Edit
- Hatchet " Karen" VS Patriotic Cthulhu "Kelly": Kelly defeats Karen by punching her out.
- Green Marijuana " Chawa" VS Jack The Ripper "Ripley": Ripley defeats Chawa by knocking him out with his night stick.
Round 3 Edit
- Jack The Ripper " Ripley" VS Patriotic Cthulhu "Kelly": Ripley defeats Kelly by knocking him out.
Final Round Edit
- Uchiha VS Jack The Ripper "Ripley": Uchiha defeats Ripley with the ichi punch to remain being the champion of the dojo. After Uchiha picks up the trophy, Gladys comes up from behind to ichi punch him to knock him out. Chang quickly ichi punches Gladys to become the undisputed champion with Uchiha still being the champion with the dragon trophy ending the first tournament.
Court Cases Edit
Uchiha Jones vs Jack Sullivan Edit
Jack Sullivan decided to sue Uchiha for miss identifying Ricky as him.
In the beginning of case Uchiha represents himself against Jack Sullivan and his lawyer Jerry. Jerry asks for Reinhart to come up to the stand for questioning if she knows who Uchiha, Jack Sullivan and Ricky is and other things. Uchiha also comes to question her about if he looks like a person who would lie and ever lied to her. Jerry objects and Uchiha tells Judge Coyote that he doesn't even know this lady. Jerry calls up Jack Sullivan about questioning and Judge Coyote cuts the questioning to ask if any lawyer would help Uchiha. Chris McGraw comes forward to accept to be Uchiha's lawyer as Uchiha agrees.
After a ten minute recess court begins again with Chris now defending Uchiha. Jerry resumes questioning Jack Sullivan about the case as Chris redirects to question Jack. Jerry asks for Uchiha to come to the stand for questioning about if he knew Ricky's name and Chris also questions him. Jerry calls for Colt Sheppard to the stand for questioning and Chris questions him too. Chris recalls Sheppard to the stand to ask him what resources were used to properly identify the suspect. Jerry questions Sheppard once again then after that Jerry and Chris gives a closing statement.
Uchiha won the court case, there was no way to prove that Uchiha knew or did not know Ricky's real name. Chris asks for no money in return and agrees to help Uchiha in his next case. Uchiha had his support from Eugene, Mel, Rose and even Ricky who was is in a disguise
Uchiha Jones vs Mission Row PD Edit
The case was cancelled by the police after Uchiha won his case against Jack Sullivan.
Uchiha Jones vs The People Edit
Sakura-chans / LS Thots Edit
Hedi (First Sakura-chan) Edit
In search of love, Uchiha finds a Sakura-chan who leads him on only to have a boyfriend who is a cop named Tribble. Uchiha was very pure and very naive during this time believing love was easy. They rarely see or talk to each other, but everything seems fine between them.
At one point Brenda starts to show feelings for Uchiha only to friend-zone him. At this point, they are both really good friends and flirt with each other. They rarely text sometimes. Brenda was dating Saab, now she is single.
Brenda told Uchiha she likes handcuffs.
"Trust level: 0"
Mother is always supportive of Uchiha because she is his surrogate mother. She has tried to help him in the past to find a Sakura-chan, Even setting him up with a date. During the Incest Arc Uchiha was expressing sexual feelings towards Mother.
Doctor Choi Edit
They have a very good friendship and Uchiha keeps on self cucking. They text and hang out a lot. Uchiha sees her a lot when he gets injured. Uchiha likes to talk to Choi about his quests and the LS Thots. Whenever he goes to Pillbox Medical, he always requests to see Doctor Choi, and when she is not there he misses her. Choi broke it off with LaBarre because they were drifting apart and she was having feelings for Uchiha. Choi wants Uchiha's Head
Uchiha was talking about an LS Thot while being treated by Choi at Pillbox Medical, this upset her. She wanted Uchiha to open up a case to find his heart. Uchiha declined because he is not good with emotions.
Uchiha tells Choi that he could be a better Doctor than her. "how hard can it be?" Choi won't let him operate on anyone, but he tried to multiple times. He asks Choi if she ever has done a little bit of weed and operated before. She says "I would never do that, I would lose my job." (1) During this time Uchiha is some what pure and does crime to make dollar bills.
- Choi threw Uchiha into the Heck Realm by accident, this upset Uchiha.
- Uchiha calling Choi his girlfriend for the first time.
- Uchiha sometimes wants Choi to smoke weed with him but she always declines.
- Uchiha discovers he cares about Choi during his second therapy session with Thalia Hayes.
- Choi pulled lawyer Murphy Braun out of a coma in order to help Uchiha out of jail.
- Uchiha gets a Koi fish tattoo he calls a 'Choi fish' as a way of showing appreciation for everything she has done for him.
- Choi tucked Uchiha in bed since he was tired after he told her information about the HOA.
First Real Date Edit
Uchiha and Choi went to the beach to smoke a little bit of weed (Smoking Weed ) and relacc. Uchiha Tried to Ichipunch a local but failed and got hit. They sit next to a fire and talk a little bit. They take a walk along the beach in the water and he passes out. Choi carries him back to his car and drives to Pillbox Medical. She goes on duty and makes him all goog.
Second Date Edit
Uchiha dresses up in a blue, sleeveless suit and takes Choi for a drive up in the hills. They pull up on a large, grand estate which Uchiha claims is the Shinoba training grounds. He gives her a detailed tour, and Choi takes a dip in the onsen. They talk about where the "Sakura-chans" are kept (1,2) and the Hokage's power. Upon leaving, Uchiha reveals that he had made all that up, he has no idea who's property that was and that no one will ever know the true location of the Shinoba residence. Uchiha and Choi continue into the hills, where they climb up a silo and 'borrow' bikes from locals, racing each other up and down slopes. Finally, the pair pull up to the observatory, walking around and taking in the view. Uchi thinks it's dumb, so they return to the city. The date is ended in typical fashion, a crash and a trip to the hospital.
Racing Date Edit
After Choi hops on Uchihas smoke monster (motorcycle) and getting pulled over for a traffic stop by Jordan Steele, they manage to talk their way out of it at which point Choi suggests that they hang out with Brenda and possibly Saab for a double date. After meeting up with Brenda and Saab being out of town, Mel replaces Saab after Choi mentions that there's a "car show" (race) happening at Voodoo Docks and they should all go together. Mel tags along in Brenda's Issi; Uchiha with Choi in her Periah. When they arrive at the docks Uchi gets tackled off the edge into the water where despite Choi not being able to swim very well, she searched for him but had no luck; He ended up swimming back himself.
The first race of the night is from the docks all the way to Paleto with Choi driving, despite starting off decently the pair end up getting 4th. They end up meeting with the other racers at the Paleto gas station where they wait for everyone to set up, this time the race is back to the city. Uchiha wanted to drive despite being drunk, as the race begins he does pretty well, repeating "hold on tight" multiple times until they crash on the highway. They are supportive of each other throughout the remainder of the race despite coming in last place.
The final race of the night starts at Benny's where not even 10 seconds into the race Choi got ejected after crashing, but continued on despite being injured and slowly bleeding out. They push forward towards the end, so far in last place they see cars coming back the opposite way from the finish line. As they are about to get to the finish line, in typical Choi/Uchi date fashion someone passes out, this time Choi behind the wheel. Uchiha, listening to and singing lyrics of I'll remember by Madonna in his earbuds, slings Choi over his shoulder and starts the long drive back to the hospital saying: "Trust your heart, never let anything tell you you cant be you, cuz look at where its got ya". To which she replies: "Yea. Passed out in the middle of the road". Uchi says it could be worse. As they enter the city they get pulled over but let go since Choi is downed and they were rushing to get treatment. Straight after they are let go, Uchi crashed and disables the car to where even after repairing with Choi still slung over his shoulder it wouldnt start. Desperate to get Choi to the hospital, Uchi trys to acquire a new vehicle by holding up a local but ends up having to kill the local because it started driving away. (This is the second time Uchiha has killed for Choi). They use the dead locals car and end up at the hospital having to wait for EMS and both end up getting treated by Nancy. In the back of the hospital Choi hugs Uchi and says he's goog (despite the fact he just killed someone). The two end the night talking outside of the hospital. Choi tells Uchiha "Good job back there". to which in typical Uchiha fashion he says "I Know". and starts backing his motorcycle up as he tells Choi to stay safe and goodnight as he rides away. Thus completing his self-cuck in style.
"Trust level: 100"
Khloe (Pink Haired Sakura-chan) Edit
Khloe is an EMT, she is very nice to Uchiha and likes to give him hugs. Khloe called Uchiha and said, a stranger was in her bed and for him to come to her house. Uchiha quickly drives there and she gives him a tour of the house and they never go to her bedroom. They rarely text each other.
When asked if she was jealous of Uchiha's and Choi's relationship, she pleaded the fifth.
Officer Dupont Edit
One time thing with Dupont when she pulled over Uchiha over for speeding.
Officer Angel Edit
Once Uchiha called Officer Angel m'lady and flirted with her.
Kayden (Ghost Sakura-chan) Edit
Ellie Dono Edit
Ellie Dono use to be Uchiha's personal taxi driver. She is now part of the Lean Bois doing her own thing as a gangster.
Rose use to be Uchiha's assistant at the Detective Firm. She is now working with Matthew Paine as a real estate agent.
Jean (LS Thot) Edit
Uchiha meets a new Sakura-chan who is down to fuck. Jean gave him her number and he calls her later that day. She is Jordan Steele's first wife.
100% platonic friend with absolutely no benefits.
Thalia Hayes Edit
Thalia is Uchiha's therapist. Uchiha has had two therapy sessions with her.
Uchiha's best friend, rival, leader and co-creator of Chang Gang. During the early times when Uchiha was in the city, they would fight each other in big battles like off the construction crane, top of Mount Chiliad, top of Miriam Turner Overpass Bridge and the swamp. They usually rob stores or the vault together with other members of Chang Gang. They run a detective firm and The Dragon's Dojo together. Chang put together a initiation for Uchiha to join Chang Gang and was the final boss dressed up in his camo outfit.
Uchiha's some what best friend and who is part of Prune Gang. During the early times Uchiha would hang out with Mel most of the time and Prune Gang. Mel would accompany Uchiha during fights against Chang and during the swamp fight Chang dumped Mel's Lambo named Maria in the swamp after getting hit with a machete. During a situation Mel shot Uchiha in the eye after getting set up by Tim Lee and Mother thinking Uchiha was trying to set him up.
A friend of Uchiha that is part of the Chang Gang and creator of SBS. Ramee was the first person that Uchiha talked with about there being different realms existing. During a detective case, Ramee got possessed by a demon and Uchiha, Chang and Jesus had to do a exorcism on him at the church and then at the dam. Ramee helped Uchiha with bail and the first person to tell Uchiha that he is part of Chang Gang. They have a good friendship and get along with each other. Ramee dressed as a Sasquatch for Uchiha's initiation to Chang Gang.
A friend of Uchiha who's apart of the Chang Gang and is a crazy Italian. In the early days Vinny would accompany Chang during his fights against Uchiha and call him a freak each time they ran into each other. Ever since Uchiha got closer with Chang Gang, Vinny also got closer with him. As a result, Vinny would charge less to fix his car and pay him more for the pixerium that Uchiha would sell to him. Vinny helped Uchiha with bail and dressed as a Sasquatch for Uchiha's initiation to Chang Gang.