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Turgle Suggulon is a character roleplayed by Stormfall33.

General Description[]

"Bladestorm" Turgle Suggulon has a mysterious background. She is new to Los Santos, and seemingly Earth. She is not an alien, as evidenced by her stating, "I love America," as a regular human would.

Background Information[]

Turgle was discarded at birth by her mother into the trash on the Earth date of 1991-01-06. She's from an unknown land (allegedly Detroit) and she doesn't like to talk about it. Despite having been only born in 1991, she states she fought in the First World War. It was revealed that Turgle's true origin is a planet called "Suggulon-D" (“Suggulon Deez Nuts”). Turgle hunted down and killed her parents as revenge for abandoning her. She killed her mother in a car crash (that definitely wasn't her fault) and it's currently unknown what happened to her father. Occasionally, beings from Turgle's home world become upset with Turgle and drag her to a unique shadow-realm known as "Turgatory". In this realm, Turgle is bestowed with the ability to walk on water. Turgle must rely on guidance from the Moon and hope that one of her Earth friends can drag her back to the world of the living.

Physical Information[]

Turgle is unable to see any color except for green, which only lasted for about 20 seconds after her plane landed from Detroit. It's still unknown why that occurred. Her hands are 60% the size of normal hands, giving her difficulty in operating manual cars. Her accent is generically from Detroit.

Turgle is occasionally adorned in a bulletproof vest but has permanent bulletproof breasts.

She has a distinct running style that has often been described as, "running like you gonna shit your pants."

Prior to most hostile encounters, Turgle will assume her signature battle pose on all fours to build power levels. Sometimes this is accompanied by rather aggressive barking. Her senses are heightened in this position. She exhibits great restraint in combat, and only uses a small fraction of her total power.

Her chest is adorned with a rather ornate dagger tattoo, representing the weapon she used to stab (allegedly) the captain of the police force whilst defending Maximilian Thoroughbred during the January 6 City Hall Riot.

Personality[]

Turgle exhibits a child-like wonder at times to many regular occurrences that would be considered normal to others. She also frequently takes statements literally, such as believing "air breathing" shoes had actual lungs. Sometimes she will make outlandish statements, for no discernible reason.

She cries a lot, then fornicates, and cries some more. She has a bloodlust, which has been fulfilled in the past by the demise of several people.

Ginger Ale, Ramona Ricci, and others have commented on how good her Rizz is, especially when chatting to Riley Shai. Hers was noted as the ‘direct approach’ when she attended a Rizz class on her first day in the city. She was able to rizz up Jonathan Acker to the extent that he had to go for a run, before they had even exchanged phone numbers.

She has somewhat of an obsession with quoting Mark Twain, or falsely attributing quotes to him. She likes to read Dune ("Du-n' your mom").

Turgle dislikes the Los Santos Police Department officers, often calling them pigs whilst sneering and giggling.

Turgle's drink of choice from Snr Buns (which she refers to as "The Buns") is eCola Light.

D&D[]

The legend of Captain Green Pubes is that of darkness and booty. Her arch rival bears the light bringer so she made the light taker, extracting the pure light of all the lands and lighthouse in hopes of bringing 1000 years of darkness.

Relationships[]

Employer[]

  • Maximilian Thoroughbred recruited Turgle to be part of his MaxSec personal security detail. After the events of the January 6 City Hall Riot, Max promoted her to Corporal, and a week later, to Lieutenant, and later, Captain.

Friends[]

Love Interests[]

Rivals[]

  • Shou Nen has been bested by Turgle twice so far in battle whilst using only 10% of her power. He has described her as, "moving faster than the speed of light." Many more battles between the two are in their future but, "only once per arc" or "once every 26 episodes."
  • Vivek Ramasquamy became Turgle's rival when she joined MaxSec, as he is the direct rival of MaxSec's leader Maximillian. Turgle entered a street race with the goal of beating Vivek, and she succeeded by finishing the race while Vivek's driver Lilith Fulker drove off a cliff. As of January 25th they have resolved their issues and Turgle has become friends with Vivek and his Campaign manager Lilith Fulker.
  • Bobby Brown, an ally of Mr. Kebun, attempted to stab and mug Turgle after she called him and a second unknown assailant, "Bitch1 and Bitch2," for falsely accusing her of mugging a dying person she was trying to save, as well as for them leaving the scene without aiding (although Brown had called EMS per her request). She fought them 1v2, with all three of them ending up bleeding on the ground. Brown stabbed Turgle a second time at the hospital. Turgle swore vengeance which culminated in Max and Mr. K intervening to help make peace between Brown and Turgle, as Max and Mr. K are business partners with a lot at stake between them. It is unknown if Turgle will forget or always remember.

Notable Events[]

Arrival[]

Turgle arrived in Los Santos on January 3rd, 2024 in the hopes of finding sanctuary against the bounty hunters looking for her.

The Birthday Bash / January 6 City Hall Riot[]

Vivek Ramasquamy had misled Turgle into believing that there would be a birthday bash in her honor at City Hall on January 6. Unbeknownst to her, the people there were actually present to witness a riot or participate in the violence.

During the riot, Turgle defended Maximilian Thoroughbred (democracy manifested in human form) alongside fellow MaxSec members against rioters sent by Ramasquamy. In the ensuing chaos outside the Mayor's office, Turgle stabbed (allegedly) Captain Leonardo Slacks and several others in a technique that could only be described as a storm of blades.

The (alleged) stabbing of Captain Slacks earned Turgle a hard time in prison as well as a promotion by Maximilian to the rank of Corporal, alongside fellow member Brick James, for their actions.

Later at a tattoo parlor, Maximilian would mention that everyone had been saying Turgle was 'bladestorming', Jonathan Acker would chime in with the suggestion that she take the nickname of Bladestorm Turgle.

Waiting Appeal / The Post Prison Blues[]

Following her incarceration, Turgle undertook various odd jobs in the city to make ends meet. At the start of the day, she bested Shou Nen in a duel utilizing only 10% of her total power, resulting in her taking him under tutelage and forming a rivalry. Rematches have been scheduled for when he has gained enough power to do so, at least 26 episodes from January 20, 2024.

Afterwards, she unsuccessfully learned how to drive a car with manual transmission via lessons from Adam Nesciac. She took advantage of his mental state and trust to learn his bank PIN is 1077, the same price as a cheese pizza and large cola at Panucci's Pizza.

First Date aka The Splooshing[]

Jonathan Acker reached out to Turgle on January 8, wondering if she would like to grab something to eat. After meeting up at Snr. Buns the pair headed out to the pier to stare out into the abyss—one of Turgle’s favorite activities.

Jonathan surprised Turgle with a new knife as a belated birthday present to which Turgle replied with a kiss to his cheek. Jonathan, feeling overwhelmed, jumped off the pier. Turgle immediately leaped after him, but unfortunately as she is accustomed to fresh water, she succumbed to the salt water. Jonathan heroically jumped in after her and performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation—their first kiss. This led to Jonathan becoming overwhelmed once more and jumping in the water again.

Turgle was taken to Central Los Santos Medical Center and successfully resuscitated. Unfortunately, due to brain hypoxia, she may have lost all memory of the kiss the two of them shared.

The Double Stabbening[]

On January 18, in front of the steps of a police station, Turgle was jumped by Bobby Brown and another unknown male assailant while she was trying to save a third man's life. Turgle 1v2'ed them and all three were left bleeding in the street. The police then took Turgle and the two muggers to the hospital. During Bobby Brown's questioning, there was a disturbance in the building. Brown as well as the other assailant used that chance to escape further questioning. On their way out from the hospital, the two ran into Turgle once again and after a brief altercation where Turgle asked the two why they were leaving, Brown immediately stabbed Turgle. After being healed a second time at the hospital, the police on site who allowed the events to occur were unhelpful. Turgle swore vengeance upon the two, oblivious to the fact that Bobby Brown was a core member of the Chang Gang.

After meeting up with Maximilian Thoroughbred and crew and being given the new title of Bladestorm Turgle, Archon of Vengeance by Max, she suited up in new gear and donned her Turgthulu mask. Outside of City Hall, Max's group and Mr. Kebun's group happened upon each other. Still donning her mask, Turgle noticed that Bobby Brown was with the group and pulled Max aside to speak with him privately. She informed him that the person who stabbed her was with that group, to which Max replied that he was sorry but she had to let it go due to that group being one of his most staunch supporters. She could get vengeance on her own time but not right now. Turgle learned that the stabber's name was Bobby Brown.

After speaking privately with Max, Turgle split from the two groups and waited in the car. As the two groups talked business, she added Brown to her Death Note, found his number in the phonebook, and gave him a chilling anonymous call.

Turgle vs. The Police of Los Santos in the Courts[]

Turgle was represented by Siobhan Fitzpatrick for her appeal. Her court date was January 27, 2024. She was found not guilty of one charge, while Captain Slacks negotiated to lower her other charge from a felony to a misdemeanor.

Turgle Telegrams[]

On February 1, 2024, Turgle founded the company Turgle Telegrams, a courier service.

The Giga Heist of Siobhan's Phone (The Needle in a Haystack)[]

Siobhan Fitzpatrick's phone was lost at a football game on January 13. The phone somehow ended up in Vivek Ramasquamy's possession. On February 11, Vivek began leaking Siobhan's sensitive texts (flirts) involving the Mayor to Twatter. Turgle was around Vivek during this time and Siobhan Thoroughbred felt betrayed by her because of this.

The following day, Berg followed Vivek and company for 2 hours, letting Turgle know of their every move, including a period of three minutes where Lilith Fulker split from Vivek's group on foot. When Vivek and company went to Snr Buns and were arrested willingly, the phone was not present. Turgle then correctly assumed that they would not have willingly got arrested unless they had hidden the phone, and suspected that Lilith had dumped the phone somewhere when she separated from the group. After calling up a search party and searching for half an hour, Turgle found the phone in a dumpster. After a bit of celebrating over accomplishing an impossible task, Turgle returned the phone to Siobhan. However, after being instructed to specifically not hand Siobhan the phone directly so the DNA evidence could be preserved, Turgle mistakenly did so anyway and the DNA Evidence was lost.

Quotes[]

  • "I'm Turging out!"
  • "I love Dune, Du-n' your mom!"
  • "Turgle forgets, but Turgle always remembers."
  • "No I don't watch LSBN, I don't like sports."
  • "I was born for MaxSec."
  • "Mark Twain once said, 'The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.'" (Note: This is actually a quote from Ernest Campbell in 1970, according to Quote Investigator.)
  • "I never lie, except when I do."

Gallery[]

In-game[]

Fan Art[]

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