Scotty Bard is a character role-played by skatebeard.
Description[]
"Scotty, Scotty Bard, like the old-timey singers"
Scotty Bard, a 35 year old ex-sports broadcaster, moved to Los Santos in January of 2024 and is in search of something more. Born and raised out of the country, Scotty left Alaska after becoming "allergic to the cold". With a booming voice made for radio, he hopes his sound once again reaches the masses. Scotty's attracted to the idea of fame and wealth, although he has trouble landing jobs and money. Being extremely broke, he attempts to convince others of his assets tied up in overseas real estate, which is presumably a lie.
Scotty is currently unemployed, often found hitching rides from strangers, and/or getting kidnapped. He was previously a Probationary Police Officer for the Los Santos Police Department. He was also previously the Interim Warden of the Department of Corrections following John Baileys retirement. He was also previously employed as Temporary Junior Assistant Disposable Manager at Snr. Buns and served as a guard in Dogtown.
Scotty's full name is Scotty Quincy Bard.
Appearance[]
Scotty self proclaims as at least 6'0" tall, however his actual height is closer to 5'4" according to a mugshot. In attempt to create an affluent appearance he is most commonly seen dressing above his net worth. Going out of his way to draw attention to his "Ferragamo's", Scotty takes pride in his fashion. Scotty is know for his classy turtleneck, glasses, and slicked-back hair. Scotty also hates socks.
Personality[]
Scotty is a people pleaser. Being overwhelmingly polite with a never ending supply of compliments and "dad jokes", Scotty wishes to be the sunshine on gloomy days. He tends to subtlety mirror the personality's of the people he meets in an attempt to come into their good graces, which sometimes gets him into odd situations. Scotty can frequently be found wandering the the streets with his scotch tape colored Ardent while thinking about feet. He was previously deeply and secretly in love with Lilith Fulker, despite her being illegally married to his acquaintance Vivek Ramasquamy at the time.
Scotty is known in the city as "the foot guy" and is very open about his foot fetish. He gets offended when people insult him for his fetish, often responding that it's a normal fetish or that the world wouldn't have doctors if people didn't have fetishes. When asked what he likes about feet, Scotty replies that he just likes "the tops, the bottoms, and the in-betweens." Due to his love of feet, Scotty is often seen sneaking photos of the feet of anyone he encounters. He doesn't mind if they are wearing shoes, claiming that he can imagine the rest. His camera is a very prized possession to Scotty, or more specifically, the hard drive containing his collection of feet pictures. Scotty is always eager to share his love of feet with the world by sending pictures involving him and feet to others, or posting them on Twatter. These messages are often met with replies such as "WTF Scotty..." and "I hate you." Since his foot fetish is widely known, Scotty is sometimes approached with offers to sell him foot pictures in exchange for money or favors.
Background[]
Early Life[]
Scotty is an only child and grew up in a pretty lonely environment. His father wasn't really in the picture and his mother sadly passed away when he was a child. His mother died when a cigarette vending machine fell on her. However, it is believed that Scotty himself had actually pushed the machine. His father left when he was young to purchase a vape charger and never returned. It has been mentioned to Scotty that vapes did not exist in a widespread manner when his father left him although, Scotty has not looked into this matter much beyond this. To add to Scotty's rough childhood, he was forced to homeschool himself. This could be the reason why Scotty is misinformed on many topics, and tends to misinterpret phrases of speech. For example, Scotty is a believer in the "Flat-Earth" theory, and also has a very incorrect understanding of sex (involving piss).
Scotty (Triple) Dark[]
Victim to a robbery and assault by Ginger Ale, which culminated in a loss of $1,500 and him being ocean dumped along with his car, a darkness was born within Scotty's soul. Along with his friend Rat King, he sought his submerged vehicle in the ocean, not once but twice, resulting in two further self-ocean dumps. With no memory of who wronged him or how, Scotty awoke in the hospital with a thirst for vengeance and no clue how to satisfy his need. In the hospital, Scotty committed a social faux pas when he referred to a woman doctor as a waitress. This drew the ire of Ethan Dark and a few of his friends who followed him out of the building. Once they reached his car, they knocked him out again, stole his car, destroyed it, and invaded his privacy by posting excerpts of his personal diary on Twatter. Despite these personal and material losses, Scotty's aspirations remained undeterred as he pursued a position as a doctor there at Pillbox Hill Medical Center. However, after a few short days of fruitless attempts to satisfy his anger, Scotty learned his doctor application had been rejected due to his foot fetish, pushing Scotty into his deepest level of fury: Scotty Triple Dark (STD). His search for satisfaction continues.
Scotty Silent but Deadly (SSD)
Mime Herpes and Scotty Silent but Deadly[]
Scotty previously contracted "Mime Herpes", a rare illness that causes his alternate personality Scotty Silent but Deadly to surface and cause silent mime based chaos among Los Santos. Scotty contracted this illness at a time where mimes were made illegal in Los Santos, making all his activities against the law and incredibly dangerous. Tanner Phillips, his boyfriend at the time, chased Scotty around Los Santos trying to cure him of the "Mime Herpes" to no avail. Ultimately, Scotty still experiences rare flare-ups of the illness and lives in fear of his alternate personality returning and taking over his psyche.
Dogtown Scotty[]
Scotty working at Dogtown
Scotty was first employed as a guard into DOC (referred to as Dogtown at the time) under Carmine Costello and Bobby Charles rule, and received keys shortly after they did. He was widely considered to be the "nice guard" by inmates and coworkers alike, often going against his bosses to help temps and lifers by reducing sentences and debt, uncuffing criminals on the run, taking lifers on work release, etc. Due to the nature of Dogtown, with it being considered a lawless territory, it was very difficult to obtain weapons/equipment by any legal means. Scotty, in an effort to help out the department, would hire criminals and have them kidnap and rob police officers to obtain various equipment such as Flashlights, Glocks, Batons, Ammo, and other miscellaneous items. This was largely successful, however his coworkers would regularly lose the weapons and equipment during prison breaks and/or riots. Scotty would also threaten to quit quite a few times, mainly due to conflicts with Bobby and fellow guard Timo Korhonen, and their differences in ideology on how to run the prison, with Bobby often referring to Scotty's version of Dogtown as "Summer Camp". Scotty ultimately shot both of them, and with the help of fellow guard Lilly Dubois, decided to ocean dump Carmine for being a fence-sitter and not standing up to them.
Scotty was present the day Chang Gang was sent up for treasonous acts against the now defunct City Council. The prison was quickly overrun however, with Scotty later being shot in the face "Gangland Execution Style" by Mr. K. Scotty did not partake in the escape of Chang Gang the next day as he was in ICU at the time. He also provided the prison guards with equipment (guns and ammo) stolen from police officers to prevent any attempts from Chang Gang to remake K-town. The escape of Chang Gang ultimately lead to Dogtown being disbanded. Scotty learned about being fired a week after the events when he finally left the ICU. Scotty was never caught and/or charged for any crime he committed during Dogtown against police officers or fellow employees.
The In-between and Bailey regime[]
After his return from ICU, with the help of a group of former Dogtown employees, Scotty took upon himself the mission of fighting for the return of a functioning Department of Corrections. During this time, Scotty would be severely tormented by First Lady Siobhan Thoroughbred, with her forcing Scotty to delete his precious foot-based website wikifeetia.org under the premise that she would give him the prison back. Ultimately this would turn out to be a ruse, and it was revealed that Siobhan only had Scotty delete his website as revenge for his associations with Vivek Ramasquamy, and their kidnapping of Siobhan during the events of May 1. In the end, any attempt at getting a department of corrections back was put down.
Eventually, the government was completely restructured, with Brittany Angel being appointed Justice, who would then lend a caring ear to Scotty and the others on a potential revamp of the DOC. Angel asked the former employees who they wanted to lead the reformed department of corrections, and after a few discussions, the guards voted for Scotty. This did not come to fruition however, as a former Judge turned Justice John Bailey was chosen to rebuild the prison instead. Scotty would be hired in the first batch of new guards now called Corrections Officers. The relationship between Scotty and Bailey was very tumultuous as Bailey was rarely present in the prison, meaning that promotions came slowly, and the CO's had little autonomy which caused some frustrations. Later, on the 15th of September 2024, Bailey decided to step down as he felt unsupported. That same day, Brittany Angel gave the position of Interim Warden to Scotty, finally giving him the autonomy he had always wished for.
Interim Warden Bard[]
Interim Warden Bard and Suki Cruz his Girlfriend.
The appointment of Scotty as Interim Warden was met with both excitement and skepticism from Corrections Officers and prisoners alike. Though new to his role of leadership, Scotty would be given lots of support from the San Andreas State Marshals and was taught about things like jurisdiction, and how to "stand on business", as early on, Scotty's authority as Interim Warden would often be challenged. Though Scotty was still often seen as just a "foot freak" by many, he had also been praised for making the prison a unique experience, and a thriving part of the State of San Andreas. He always had the backs of his COs and he was loyal to the "thin grey line" above anything else, even fighting for the DOC being the ultimate authority in the prison above the SASM per legislation. After Angel stepped down as Justice, many of the Marshals who were most supportive of Scotty stepped away as well. After this, Scotty would slowly distance himself from the SASM, following multiple events where he felt he was being eyed upon and targeted by the Marshals and the DOJ.
Scotty would also be targeted by accusations from some of his employees, with examples such as drowning a lifer or assisting Chaos Legion in robbing a laundromat. These accusations, whether true or false, would then be spun to the Marshals in a way that could potentially incriminate Scotty. Scotty believed that his employees forgot the concept of the "thin grey line" and often had to remind his guards of this. On January 9th, 2025, due to a failed work release coordinated by Scotty and employee Aoife French, lifer Matthew Colby would make his escape from prison with the assistance of Edgar Del Castillo, Jay Hobbs, Aubrey Webster, Frederick White, and Future Hendrix. Due to these failings, later that day Scotty was suspended from his position as Interim Warden pending investigation by Justice Arcadia Grayson. Scotty was later unsuspended and would return to his position as Interim Warden on January 16th, 2025. On January 25th, 2025 Scotty was awarded a medal of honor by the DOJ alongside other LEOs involved in the apprehension of Matthew Colby.
Following increasing conflict with both the Marshals and the DOJ on the subject of ultimate authority and the general state of the prison, multiple command members lead by Deputy Warden Suki Cruz decided they would leave the DOC due to a culmination of losses for the DOC over the past month, with issues such as losing autonomy over the prison due to multiple changes to the legislation, as well an increasing amount of pressure from the Marshals. Suki came to Scotty and told him about her intentions to resign, and Scotty, in the past, had made a promise to Suki that when she was out, he was out as well. This, in conjunction with Scotty receiving phone calls from the Marshals that same day, pinning their suspicions on him for an escaped temp, would inevitably lead him to resign from his position as Interim Warden.
Officer Bard[]
A few weeks after resigning as Interim Warden, Scotty was hired into the Los Santos Police Department by Lt. Ruby York. The beginning of his career in the LSPD was rather tumultuous however, as very soon after his initial hiring, the SASM contacted LSPD high command to reconsider his hiring. This was due to the recent subpoena of a phone belonging to "The Faceless", to which it was revealed that they were in contact with Scotty during his final weeks as Interim Warden, thus prompting an interrogation by Capt. Mateo Radić and Lt. York on merely his third day as Cadet. Thankfully, Scotty was able to beat the accusations by firmly denying any ongoing relations with The Faceless. Afterwards he went on multiple FTO sessions, mainly with fellow officers Peach Chee, Jebediah Jenkins and Conner Oxby. On one session he went out with Carmine Costello, in which they ended up finding themselves on Grove Street, which then initiated a massive shootout between PD and The Manor. A few days later, after participating in a "PPO Evaluation", Scotty would be promoted to Probationary Police Officer by Ofc. Oxby. Soon after being promoted to PPO however, Scotty would abruptly leave the city for several months to search for Bigfoot (Which he claims is meant in two different ways). During his time away, Scotty was let go as a police officer due to inactivity.
TBD.....
Relationships[]
Suki Cruz. Scotty’s girlfriend who occasionally has green hair.
Carmine Costello. Previous Baron of Dogtown, current awful cop.
Bobby Charles. Previous Baron of Dogtown. Shot Scotty in the face and said "boys will be boys". Loves "buttchugging" & hates woke people.
Peach Chee. Cop friend. Was an FTO for Scotty during most of his sessions as Cadet.
Ruby York. Scotty's shift Lieutenant in the LSPD, Scotty cares greatly about her opinion on his work as a officer. May be a fellow foot person (reportedly).
Tanner Phillips. Dead best friend. Often shirtless.
Maeve Wolfe. Scotty's ex-girlfriend. Married to the job before she got fired as a cop.
Winslow Jackson. Scotty's new best friend, replacing Tanner. The funniest and yet most introspective man Scotty has ever known.
Chestanisberg Andersonisburgenson. Good friend of Scotty's. Has helped him in many of his "covert" operations.
Camila Sulan. The original "will they/won't they". Has tried to murder Scotty a few times.
Richard Woytkiw. Scotty's formal arch enemy turned friend.
Imo Malum "Ratking". Scotty's first friend in the city, they killed 3 dogs together. They also lived in a house together.
Gary Kebun. Was Scotty's second in-command at the DOC until taking his position as Interim Warden after resigning.
Sheamus McCarthy. Was Scotty's "right hand and left nut" at the Department of Corrections.
Catherine Windsor. Scotty's daughter, calls him "Papa". Scotty brought her to the Altar the day of her wedding.
Lilly Dubois. Previously one of the only nice guards at Dogtown. Currently a felon.
Timo Korhonen. Former Co-worker at Dogtown. Once told Scotty to "be a team player".
Brittany Angel. Angel of the DOC and savior of Los Santos.
Arcadia Grayson. Was Scotty's boss during the later months of his time as Interim Warden.
Anna Lockhart. Scotty's favorite marshal and biggest supporter, called him "Hotty".
Siobhan Fitzpatrick. Former enemies. Had Scotty delete his foot website out of spite. Have since rekindled their friendship after DOC was brought back.
Vivek Ramasquamy. Used to harass Scotty and force him to tell jokes.
Lilith Fulker. A big fan of sleevies. Cares for Scotty.
Giovanna Gambino. Ex-girlfriend of Scotty. Now just a criminal friend.
Quotes[]
- "Hey can I send you a picture?"
- "It's not a weird fetish, it's a regular fetish!"
- "Doctor, you don't have any medical cocaine by chance?"
- "I've got two good newses and one bad news, what do you wanna hear first?"
- "I'm full of piss and vinegar and I'm all out of vinegar..."
- "Does a duck with a boner drag weeds? Yes I can..."
- "Same shit, different toilet."
- "I'm not that mad."
- "Suki talk more!"
- "I want to double world hunger."
- "I'm basically mozzarella I'm shredded."
- "It was January, 2024. I arrived in Los Santos bright-eyed and bushy-tailed..."
- "If the Earth was round, the ocean would fall off the bottom!"
- "Skipppppp...!!!"
Employment[]
Scotty is shareholder in Snr. Buns, which is why he wants to double world hunger. He was also appointed to Temporary Junior Assistant Disposable Manager for Snr Buns by Sunny Brooks.
| Rank | Insignia | Note | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dogtown Guard | N/A | Hired in the first batch under Carmine and Bobby | 03/02/2024 |
| Fired in Absentia by Maximilian Thoroughbred | 05/23/2024 | ||
| Corrections Cadet | 
|
Hired in the first batch as corrections cadet under Justice Bailey; Badge #852 | 08/05/2024 |
| Corrections Officer | 
|
Promoted to corrections officer by Justice Bailey | 09/05/2024 |
| Interim Warden | 
|
Promoted to Interim Warden by Justice Angel | 09/15/2024 |
| Suspended pending investigation in the escape of Matthew Colby | 01/09/2025 | ||
| Reinstated as Interim Warden after Successfully Beating the allegations of helping in Matthew Colby's escape | 01/16/2025 | ||
| Resigned as Interim Warden following constant heavy critiques and accusations from the SASM as well as the resigning of Suki Cruz and other high command members | 02/20/2025 |
| Rank | Insignia | Note | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cadet | 
|
Hired to the LSPD by Lt. Ruby York; Badge #605-C | 03/20/2025 |
| Probationary Police Officer | 
|
Promoted to PPO by Ofc. Connor Oxby; Badge #605-P | 03/30/2025 |
Gallery[]
| Department of Corrections |
|---|
Corrections Corporals: Mike Saf • Micky O’Leary Senior Corrections Officers: Stansfeld Belaney • Shaun Power • Boston Robinson Corrections Officers: Bart Cart • Kirby Bensler Corrections Cadets: Ezra Badanda • Levi Badanda • Harold Hobbler |