Matthew Payne is a character role-played by thaCOOP.

Background[edit | edit source]

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Matthew Payne is a senior realtor and one of the most successful men in the city of Los Santos.

He owns numerous properties around the city and is the owner of Payne Real Estate. He is on good terms with Los Santos Police Department and gives the police a discount on housing in Mirror Park and Vinewood.

Payne loves money and respects loyalty. He can be loud and cheerful or act like a self-important rich man, who doesn't waste his time on people that don't offer him any business value ("peasants"). He has relationships with numerous leaders. Working with Payne is an interesting experience. His larger than life personality means conversations and plans are rarely straight-forward.

Known for being 'just a realtor', Payne's trademark high pitched scream can be heard when he thinks he's in danger. While still a civilian at heart, he's developed a hardened side after being forced to participate in intense criminal activities (see Warehouses below). Payne has a distinct manner of speaking, and gives people rhyming nicknames.


Payne Real Estate[edit | edit source]

Payne Real Estate is a realty company founded and managed by Payne. He sells properties across Los Santos to everyone. Police and criminals are some of his best clients. He often rents properties to south side gangs which has recently caught the attention of police. Payne hired and manages several realtor employees as the company CEO.

Company Bank account[edit | edit source]

Payne Real Estate is one of the most profitable companies in Los Santos.

Payne's company bank account grows with each house sale. This idea is role-played by thaCOOP to simulate an IRL company profit, to theoretically enable purchases like Payne Tower and additional houses to sell.

In actuality, thaCOOP doesn't spawn money or access unlimited money. There are no large funds to access, as this functionality to imitate IRL company profits is not coded in-game. Although he RP's the company bank account figure, Payne will use his personal bank account for his own purchases, e.g. cars. This money is earned from commissions and other deals, which he's shown occurring regularly over several months.

Homeowners Association[edit | edit source]

Payne with Siz Fulker

The HOA was contracted by Payne to lower the crime rate and raise the property values in Mirror Park and Vinewood neighbourhoods.

Homes in these areas have a high value and were often subject to break ins and theft. The HOA works to secure and protect Payne's properties. Their methods are often questionable but Payne is willing to look the other way to ensure his properties are secure.

Payne leased The HOA a Vinewood property free for a period of time, as Siz Fulker (Sizzy Wizzy) was a close business acquaintance.


Warehouse storage[edit | edit source]

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Payne expanded his personal business, providing off-the-grid warehouse storage to 'worthy' clients. These facilities provide valuable space, from 2500 to 3500 weight with vehicle access, and very flexible custom locations. The expansion is not part of Payne Real Estate. Payne is involving his trusted business partners to help vet potential clients. This initially involved Alablaster Slim and Vinny Pistone.

Lang Buddha was the first client who was sold a warehouse personally by Payne, and therefore knew of Payne's warehouse endeavor.

Payne's level of respect for Vinny has grown along with their friendship. They routinely make each other mald, however Payne speaks highly of Vinny and values his loyalty deeply. Payne calls Vinny his business partner. He listens to his opinions, and over time has valued his recommendations and input more and more.


Exposure of warehouses[edit | edit source]

Payne and his business friend Nino

Payne works closely with his partners to ensure he is not easily linked to his warehouse storage. The warehouses were planned for over a year, with the original storage concept discussed with Nino Chavez.

However the knowledge of Payne's involvement spiraled out of control, after Buck Colton followed Eugene Zuckerberg and discovered a pin code storage. Buck shocked Payne with secret knowledge that he had worked with Nino, heard of storage, and that Nino was a gun connect. Being a gun connect was a highly kept secret Nino had even kept from Payne. Payne knew Nino's Cousin would be interested in this leak. Sharing this secret went against a promise Buck had made to Nino, thereby calling into effect a Perma contract.

Payne in a disguise, with Slim/Vinny/Lang as they perma Buck

Payne, along with business partners Slim and Vinny, enlisted Lang to help capture Buck. Referred tongue-in-cheek as the Payne Gang, they kidnapped Buck, with Buck's crew (the 404) failing the attempt to save him. Payne gave the order to kill Buck at the bunker location. Payne Gang moved onto tying up 'loose ends' beginning with the 404 crew. However before dying, Dragon exposed a note leading to further loose ends that Payne needs to worry about. Payne Gang later learned the contents of Dragon's note. FYI, Payne has perma contracts with Lang, Slim and Vinny.

Although originally caught up in the moment after being forced to kill multiple people (acting as 'the new Payne'), Payne's anxiety level and mood have been negatively effected, as he wavers between civilian and death dealing criminal. He continues to surround himself with competent people to protect the warehouse business, including sharp shooters Curtis and Flippy.

Talon[edit | edit source]

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In Feb 2020, Payne received a private call (from Shadow/Talon) informing him of a secret organisation (Talon is a terrorist organisation whose aim is to expose corruption within the Police Department and Department of Justice).

Late March 2020, after bringing Lang Buddha into the Warehouse operation and showing him the RPG, Payne and Lang made a perma contract. With trust from Payne, Lang opened up and Payne and Slim met Shadow (Lang's Talon persona). They were also shown Shadow's secret Talon headquarters.

Payne was officially inducted into Talon, after Payne completed the Talon ceremony.

In June 2020, Payne asked Lang to leave 'Payne Gang', and Lang hinted that Payne might be out of Talon.


Vanilla Unicorn[edit | edit source]

In March 2020, Payne offered to help his best friend Slim run the VU, however at that time Slim declined. Slim transitioned from the public owner of the VU to being the shadow owner, putting Evita Nimm in charge of the places day-to-day tasks while remaining in charge of the underground fighting pit.  

On May 22 2020, Payne became one of the managers of the VU. His purpose was to launder Warehouse money. However he feared he could no longer control laundering when Slim gave Speedy a management position without Payne's consultation.

Fearing future decisions could easily be made impacting his work and plans (money laundering), without his input or knowledge, Payne left the VU.  


Relationships[edit | edit source]

Payne Gang[edit | edit source]

Alabaster Slim - Long standing best friend, Payne enjoys time with 'Slimmy Wimmy'. He often took him on foreclosures and offered him deals or free items before offering them to anyone else. After a solid friendship for over a year, Payne became neurotic and even more paranoid during the warehouse killings. He lashed out at Slim on multiple occasions, calling his phone frequently, being too petty and pushing Slim away. Their friendship cooled down after Slim shot Payne.

Vinny Pistone - Originally business acquaintances, Payne has grown close to Vinny while working together on the Warehouses. He listens to his advice and deeply values and respects Vinny's loyalty. Although they push each other's buttons and mald on a regular basis, Payne accepts Vinny as an equal partner.

Lang Buddha - Payne has a dynamic relationship with Lang. To this day Payne continues to try and be on 'Boody Woodys' good side, as he has long standing respect. It has changed frequently from their realtor relationship, to warehouse partnership then Talon brotherhood. At times, Lang has been very angry with Payne.

Other Relationships[edit | edit source]

Nino Chavez - Nino and Payne became very close as company CEOs, discussing business advice while both being careful not to release major secrets they kept. Payne respected Nino's advice more than any other, and implemented his 'mass storage' aka Warehouse idea.

Gomer Colton - Gomer would often pick-up Payne and they'd hang out for hours, as close friends. Gomer helped Payne attack his stalker Cassie Cupcakes. Had he been around more often, Gomer would have been in the original Payne Gang.

Siz Fulker

Siz Fulker - relationship
Payne and Siz's relationship goes far beyond the means of just an employee and working relationship. Payne has a genuine fondness of Siz and it goes vice-versa with respect from Siz. After finding that criminals were obsessed with robbing houses all over the Vinewood area, the HOA were officially hired to help assist in lowering the rates of crime. Since then, the HOA has had unruly members who have tarnished the name and put heat on Payne, causing a rupture within their relationship until it was recently fixed with the proposal of dissolving the HOA from Payne Real Estate until home robberies become more prevalent.

Payne liking the idea has since shown his happiness and satisfaction towards Siz showing him "The Sizzy-Wizzy he knows", effectively repairing their relationship. Payne has since given Siz a warehouse, via Vinny. In recent events after Vinny Pistone told Payne that Siz was a "Snake" and "Can't be trusted" during a private meeting, Payne remains unconvinced and still trusts in Siz.



Payne's Songs[edit | edit source]

Fun Facts[edit | edit source]

Payne acquired weaponry including an RPG after foreclosing on Ed's property (Monkey Man, the old weapon dealer).

  • Owns the tallest tower in Los Santos, 'Payne Tower'
  • He is a supporter of law enforcement
  • Sells stash houses to criminals including gangs
  • Has signed safety contracts with gang leaders
  • Sold properties to judges in the Barrio territory
  • He has an ongoing rivalry with:
  • Often hires known criminals to provide security
  • He prefers to avoid being involved in criminal activity
  • Commissioned a Payne Real Estate car livery by Eddie for his employees
  • Reddit voted him #1 'Civilian of the Year' in Best of 2019 Awards
  • Has possession of the only rocket-propelled grenade (RPG) after foreclosing on an old weapon dealer
  • Matthew Payne is a character role-played by thaCOOP - he also role-plays Coop Holliday


Quotes[edit | edit source]

  • "I have reason to believe that I’m currently under attack."
  • "DRIVE BY!"
  • "Protect your Realtor."
  • "Hug your Realtor."
  • "Tell me - do you have a lot of money? No? Have a good day."
  • *Tongue POP* - Payne doesn't recognize he makes a tongue POP sound
  • #Paynenoises *lip smacks, whimpering, high pitched scream, random noises*
  • "I'm just a Realtor."

 Clips[edit | edit source]

Episode List[edit | edit source]

  1. Matthew Payne Full Episode Playlist

New Server[edit | edit source]

  1. Siz brings Payne to a drug deal
  2. Payne calls in a Nuke against Brav'O Six
  3. Payne gets attacked by his stalker Cassie Cupcakes
  4. Payne gets attacked by NPC Park Ranger Jessica w/ Ramee
  5. Jordan & Payne arguing - Clip and Full version
  6. Payne gets a lap dance from Fiona
  7. Payne shows slim his RPG
  8. Q: Does your deep raspy Payne voice get the ladies irl?

Warehouses & Payne Gang[edit | edit source]

  1. Payne talks to Nino about his own possible business expansion (warehouses)
  2. Payne Gang is formed (unofficial initial group)
  3. Buck tells Payne he knows about Nino, guns, and warehouses
  4. Payne/Slim/Vinny/Lang kill (perma) Buck
  5. Payne/Slim/Buddha learn Dragon has a note
  6. The new Payne

Talon[edit | edit source]

  1. Payne (Crow) Talon outfit
  2. Payne Talon speech part 1 (Lang starts then Payne continues)
  3. Coop checks if Payne broke the Talon oath
Old Clips - work in progress
New Server
  1. Payne holds the rocket-propelled grenade (RPG)
  2. Coop experiences hot mic on Payne
  3. Payne gets a hug out of a very reluctant Speedy
  4. Bayo domes Payne (before Tsunami) w/ Snow
  5. thaCOOP memes joining CG - I can replace Ramee
  6. Payne asks Lauren Forcer about her financial situation
  7. Payne gets a lap dance from Fiona

Warehouses & Payne Gang

  1. The idea of a 'Payne Gang' is formed
  2. Payne requests a perma contract between him and Slim
  3. Payne and Slim both hold the RPG
  4. Buck tells Payne he knows about Nino, guns, and warehouses
  5. Payne/Slim/Vinny/Lang perma Buck after he exposes the warehouses
  6. Payne/Slim/Buddha learn Dragon has a note
  7. After being forced to kill, a 'new Payne' emerges

Talon

  1. Shadow (Talon) calls Payne for the first time
  2. Payne and Buddha perma contract
  3. Slim and Payne meet Talon
  4. Payne completes the Talon ceremony (note the chat isn't in-sync)

Gallery[edit | edit source]

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