Lenny Hawk is a character role-played by MOONMOON.
Description[]
Lenny Hawk was an Officer for the Unified Police Department. After a one-to-five-year absence spent seeking spiritual enlightenment, training to improve his martial arts skills, meeting his new friends Declan Crane and Vampingle Dan, and acting as a vigilante in Japan (the reason being he believed a shadowy criminal cabal was using holograms near Mount Fuji to hide God from the world) he returned to Los Santos on February 2, 2024 and sought to join the newly reformed Los Santos Police Department. He was sworn in as a Cadet alongside Jimbo Sutton on the same day. His badge number started as #800 and then #176, after his promotion to PPO on February 9, 2024. He resigned on April 12, and became a money runner for Chang Gang, taking up the pseudonym “The Roadhog”.
Born in Jacksonville, Florida, Lenny Hawk suffers multiple deformities due to his family's practice of selective inbreeding. He initially presented as ugly, showing discoloration in his face, a distinct lack of a chin, a dent in the back of his head, and being born without proper use of one eye. This appearance was made far worse by an explosion in which he suffered severe burns across his entire body. His "single" eye changed sides seemingly at random times, and was covered with an eyepatch (sometimes sporting a painted googly eye) or matched with a glass eye.
Lenny has a profound love for his country, and was a huge supporter of the "boys in blue" in Los Santos prior to his LSPD employment. This passion is likely a result of his father and four stepfathers being cops. Before becoming a Cadet, Lenny displayed the highest respect towards law enforcement, helping them every chance he got. Consequently, this gave Lenny the reputation of being an informant, typically calling 911 for any crime he had witnessed, no matter how minor.
Lenny served in the Coast Guard for 5.1 years. During his Coast Guard service, Lenny claims to have suffered a gunshot wound to his testicles, resulting in their loss. Further, he claims to have served during the first Gulf War, and that his son Denny was conceived during that time, which would make Denny, actually age 9, hypothetically 30 years old. Lenny has made countless contradictory statements as to his service history, has a near constant impulse to affirm these contradictions to his colleagues, and is strangely specific about aspects of his time in the armed forces. In one breath he claims to have been a child soldier, and in the next vehemently denies it.
Lenny came to Los Santos as a Pentecostal Christian. His religious beliefs have since evolved. After meeting Elder Spencer Smith, he amended his belief system to be "Pentecostal Mormon". Shortly after, he fomented his own branching brand of Mormonism that he named the Not-Racist Latter-Day Saints, NRLDS. It was amended multiple times afterward, the final acronym reading "NRPGNCLDSSA" (The Not-Racist Pro-Gay Not-A-Cult Latter-Day Saints of San Andreas). Lenny has largely used the Mormon foundation as an excuse to obtain multiple wives to build his own "Mormon planet after death".
Because Lenny does his own research, he believes in almost every conspiracy that he comes across on various online forums, which he sees as "legitimate sources of information". Some conspiracies include 5G radiation waves, birds as robot drones, the sky as a screen created by the government to hide God, microchips in vaccines, misunderstood Mormon foundationalism, mirrors being portals to the hell dimension, and many more.
Events[]
In mid-February, he and Declan founded the elite anti-gang LSPD unit Eclipse.
On April 12, after receiving a string of disciplinary action points, he resigned over the radio and then intentionally shot Captain Leonardo Slacks and Senior Officer Kit Archer. This came after he discovered that his police car had been stolen while he had been receiving treatment for gunshots at the hospital. Lenny felt let down by most of his co-workers, for not providing sufficient support during an unsuccessful drug bust minutes earlier, and not securing his car.
Momentous Dates within the Government[]
Los Santos Police Department[]
| Rank | Insignia | Note | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cadet | 
|
Hired to the LSPD; Badge #800 | February 2nd, 2024 |
| Probationary Police Officer | 
|
Promoted to Probationary Officer; Badge #176 | February 9th, 2024 |
| Officer | 
|
Promoted to Officer | March 12th, 2024 |
| Resigned | 
|
Resigned from the LSPD | April 12th, 2024 |
Trivia and Quotes[]
- Went to church twice a week when he was younger
- Often smells like blue cheese
- Once claimed his under-arms smelt like onions.
- Received extensive training from his 5.1 years in the Coast Guard
- Served in the first Gulf War, during which he claims his testicles were blown off by jumping out of the way of a sniper shot
- Attended the Capitol riot on January 6th; claimed he was not a part of it after being questioned due to the FBI heavily cracking down on individuals who were a part of the riot
- Always sides with the boys in blue, even if they are in the wrong
- Follows every single law without fail
- Dropped out of high school
- Uses the hashtag '#1776' at the end of every tweet
- Started smoking at the age of 12
- If they aren't Oakley glasses, he ain't wearing them
- Weazel News is the only news source the Hawk brothers respect
- Brushes the salt off saltine crackers because they are too spicy
- Claims to have shot his own testicles off due to an accidental discharge of his firearm
- Always has a healthy amount of Kraft Singles stashed in his tactical vest, although is prone to dropping them in random places.
- His son/nephew Denny is named after the restaurant "Denny's".
- Prefers to smoke Newport 100s Menthol cigarettes, doesn't know how to smoke cigars.
- His favorite TV show is M*A*S*H.
- Lenny was circumcised.
- Wears women's size 5 shoes.
- He hates rap music but loves Ludacris and Eminem.
- Claims to have killed 27 people in the Gulf War, earning him the rank of Petty Officer.
- Previously owned a cat named Jitters with his brother, Kenny.
- Likes breast milk, however, what he does with it is unknown.
- He has a deep-seated hatred for all animals, including cats, except Jitters.
- His favorite song is Cars by Gary Numan.
- During the Shift 3 meeting on December 31st, 2023, a Kraft single and a soiled Toretti-brand combat diaper were found in the meeting room, insinuating Lenny had been there recently or was spider-lurking in the shadows.
- Lenny's oshi is Twitch streamer GEEGA
- He likes to bathe (clothes on always) in mayonnaise every night. It makes him greasy.
- Lenny likes to smother himself in Vaseline. It’s almost like a shower!
- Dyes his hair with cheese packets.
- He handles all of his and Declan’s monthly 10% tithing. The confirmations given to Declan are often written in crayon.
- Declan is Lenny’s heterosexual life partner.
- He takes swims in the Mirror Pond dam lathered in baby oil with Declan for stress relief.
- "HELL YEAH, BROTHER!"
- "Always stay strapped, brother!"
- "Back the boys in blue."
- "Can I get a veteran's discount?"
- "I will citizen's arrest you!"
- "Alright"
- "HE'S REACHING!"
- "I'm calling the cops."
- "Don't mess with me, I'm ex-military."
- "Stay safe, stay strapped, stay clean, brothers."
- "I tried to sign-up, they didn't let me."
- "I do everything legally, brother."
- "If my time in the military taught me anything, it's how to suck, sir."
- "Let's rock, Lenny Hawk."
- "I do my own research."
- "GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG"
- "RURURURURURURURURURURURURURURU"
- "Huh?"
- "EUGH?"
- "HUGHEUGH?"
- "You might not get it, but there's a lot of stuff going on"
- "I love women"
- "Well, if there's one thing I've learned after joining the LSPD, it's... ... ... ... ... ... yup."
- "I... Love... Bein' a Cop"
- "I post on infobattle.org and it is NOT FOR NERDS"
- "He looks like if humans stopped evolving... not that they ever evolved... hypothetically"
- "Mahalo, bruddah"
- "Years of selective breeding"
- "Do you want a ciggy?"
- "I stood over him as he was chokin' on his own blood, pulled my kunai out, and I said... El Niño out”
- ”You just got Hawked... SKRAW”
- “Ow... Owie!” (Whenever he gets hurt, or when beat up by Copper)
- "Do it NOOOW" (When making demands to criminals)
- ”BREAK. Umm….” (Over the radio)
- "Hai" (In relation to Eclipse Unit)
Episode List[]
VODs from MOONMOON Vods, moon2.tv/vods for chat replay
Gallery[]
April 12, 2024
22 April, 2024
| Played By: MOONMOON |
|---|
| Characters: Maximilian Thoroughbred • Lenny Hawk • Bernice Caldershot • Ro Block • Jane Obama • JOHN SOULS • MITCH MOONMOON • Locingle Dan |