Nettie Machete/3.0

3.0

2.0 and Prior

Nettie Machete

Turtleneck
Denim Jacket
Hobo

Aliases

Nicknames

Best Boss

Bailey Jade

Nettie Steele-Machete

Jordan Steele

Nettie "MP5" Machete

Various friends

Nettie Myles

Birth name

Relatives

Family

Parents †

Unnamed

Siblings †

Unnamed

Biographical Information

Date of Birth

June 19th, 1995

Age

28 (allegedly)

Place of Birth

American Midwest

Nationality

Polish-American

Gender

Female

Species

Human

Physical Attributes

Height

6'5 (5'9)

Eye Color

Blue

Hair Color

Blonde

Relationship Information

Relationship Status

Barbra Thunk

Brakked

Jordan Steele

Estranged Husband

Tracy Martell †

Ex-Girlfriend

Sexuality

Lesbian

Children

Children

Chips Ahoy

Stepson

Andrew Jackson

Stepson
- Mila Smoak
  - Stepgranddaughter

Fears

Biggest Fear

Her own mortality

General Fears

Babies

Aging
Scary Spice

Faction Information

Former Affiliation

Former Affliations

LSPD (1.0)

Resigned

CID (1.0)

Resigned

EMS (2.0)

Resigned

Steele Security (2.0 & 3.0)

Quit

Burger Shot (3.0)

Laid Off

Employment Information

Business Name

Employers

Unemployed

Former Job(s)

Former Jobs

LSPD (1.0)

Police Sergeant
- Detective

EMS (2.0)

Paramedic
- Field Training Officer

Steele Security (2.0)

Manager
- Home Security Officer
- Saleswoman

Crusade Medical (2.0)

Co-Chief of Medicine
- Neurologist

Burger Shot

Burger Flipper (3.0)
Cashier
Security Guard

Role-player Information

Played By

Netsirk

Alternate Characters

Augusta Carlin

Nettie Machete is a character role-played by netsirk.

General Description[]

"Just remember me as I once was, Boba. Once a lesbian, always a lesbian, but forever celibate." - Nettie

Known for her melodrama, Nettie is a former member of Emergency Medical Services who is prone to dragging others into her romantic misadventures in her free time. Her sweet and friendly exterior is just a façade as she's an incredibly mischievous woman who takes great joy in gas-lighting and emotionally tormenting her peers with her outlandish schemes and antics.

Nettie is currently broken and alone.

Physical Description[]

"Have you seen me? I'm an Albino." - Nettie

Nettie is a fair-skinned, blue-eyed woman who is most easily identifiable by her blonde mohawk and smudged mascara. She claims to be 6'5, though she often embellishes miscellaneous details regarding her physical stature and age.

Nettie has a strong aversion towards wearing clothing that she deems to be too revealing. She typically wears pants, boots, long-sleeve shirts, sweaters, and jackets. After befriending Wilhelmina Copperpot during her stint as a manager at Garage Q, Nettie acquired a taste for wearing suits to non-formal occasions.

Background Information[]

"Yeah, my siblings all died in a fire. Believe it or not, it was on Christmas. It was really unfortunate. My mom also died in that fire." - Nettie

Due to Nettie being a pathological liar, much of her backstory is a mystery as she lies so frequently about her past that she often forgets the truth.

Her place of birth, hometown, pets, and the status of her family are all constantly in flux as she usually makes up stories about them on the spot. Though, a common thread in many of her childhood stories typically involves her committing some form of arson and her family dying in a fire under various conditions. These stories often heavily imply the fire was a form of deliberate familicide.

Despite typically being dishonest about her past, she has sparingly alluded to formerly being a detective during exchanges with some of her old colleagues.

Timeline[]

"I'd just like to say that my time here has been swell and I owe it all to E. E. Cummings... and Mountain Dew... and emotional turmoil. So just remember me as I once was, okay?" - Nettie

2017 (1.0)

2017

Nettie joined the LSPD.
Nettie entered into a relationship with Reid Dankleaf and they used each other as beards.
Nettie eventually went on to become a sergeant and Reid became the Chief of Police.
Nettie helped Jackie Snow found the Criminal Investigation Division and briefly ran the department as an administrative head, enrolling several people in the program.
Reid would later emotionally terrorize Nettie and attempt to coerce her into marrying him by threatening to jump off the roof of a bank. After being rejected, Reid faked his own death.
On October 3rd, Nettie asked Tessa Lamb on a date, but the pair ultimately never followed through on their plans.
Sometime near the end of the year, Nettie resigned from LSPD and left the city.

2019-2021 (2.0)

Spring, 2019

In Spring, Nettie returned to Los Santos after having left the city for well over a year.
In early May, Nettie attempted to rekindle a romance with her old flame, Tessa Lamb.
On May 5th, Nettie was ultimately rejected by Tessa as she had moved onto a relationship with Amara Harte.
In mid May, Nettie began seeing multiple therapists as a way to help cope with her emotional instability. It was during this time that she became close friends with Kizzy Neveah.
In early June, Nettie was hired by Emergency Medical Services as a trainee.

Summer, 2019

On June 26th, Nettie was promoted from a trainee to an EMT.
In early July, Nettie had a falling out with Kizzy and the pair stopped being friends. The incident severely damaged her trust in therapists.
In mid July, Nettie hired Jean Steele to sing a friendship breakup song to Kizzy. Afterwards Nettie and Jean discussed the possibility of Jean sabotaging Tessa and Amara's wedding by performing a song of Nettie's choosing.
On July 15th, Nettie worked up the nerve to ask Dr. Tracy Martell to be her girlfriend.
On August 6th, Nettie and Tracy went on their first and only chaperoned date.
On August 11th, Nettie and Tracy got into a heated exchange at the Vanilla Unicorn when Tracy entrapped Nettie with a lap dance.
On August 12th, Nettie and Tracy broke up.
In mid August, Nettie briefly pretended to be James 'Apples' Apeller's mother to get him out of police custody as he was suffering from amnesia after the Leanbois removed his limbs. She then spent a few days attempting to help jog his memory.
In late August, Nettie and Tracy would go through several more makeups and breakups as their relationship became hot and cold.
In late August, Nettie became close friends with Jessie Skid. The pair bonded over their experiences with Kizzy's The Friend In Me Project and Jessie attempted to enlist Nettie's help in discovering what happened to Kizzy after she had been fired as a therapist.
On August 28th, Nettie asked Katherine 'Kitkat' Kaspar if she'd be interested in going on a date in the future.
In early September, Nettie began seeing numerous women on the side after her most recent string of breakups with Tracy.
On September 3rd, Jessie was apprehended by Jordan Steele and was placed on a 5150 hold in Parsons.
On September 6th, Kitkat asked Nettie out on a formal date.
On September 7th, Kitkat asked Nettie to be her girlfriend.
On September 8th, Nettie broke up with Kitkat when she found out that Kitkat cheated on her by going on a date with Jerry Callow to the same venue which Nettie was planning to use as a location for their second date.
On September 10th, Nettie was promoted from the rank of EMT to Paramedic.
In late September, Nettie was informed by Jessie Skid that Bovice had her on a hit-list and had enlisted a female assassin to deal with her as she had a weakness for women.

Autumn, 2019

On October 22nd, Nettie and Tracy went through their final breakup.
In late October, Nettie went back in the closet and began looking for a beard as a cover while pretending to be straight, she eventually settled on Jerry Callow and intended to use the relationship to get even with him for ruining her relationship with Kitkat.
In early November, Nettie became aware that Jerry was cheating on her with Kayden Dell'Anno.
On November 11th, Brenda Pancake asked Nettie to seduce Jordan to help his wives get dirt for their divorces. That same day Jordan asked her on a beach date.
On November 29th, Nettie went on her first date with Jordan.
On December 1st, Jordan drunkenly ran over Jean while on his way to a second date with Nettie.
On December 6th, Nettie was promoted from a Paramedic to a Paramedic FTO.
On December 10th, Nettie proposed to Jordan at a business fundraiser that was being hosted by Mother. Jordan accepted her proposal and they became engaged.
In mid December, Jessie informed Nettie that he discovered Khaleesi White was the woman Bovice had sent after her.

Winter, 2020

On January 21st, Jean divorced Jordan.
On January 25th, Jessie was murdered by The Menagerie. Nettie would not learn about his death for several months.
On February 13th, Jordan was fired from the LSPD after an incident where he shot a suspect while high on pain medication after breaking his leg.
On February 15th, Kayden was murdered by Jordan during a domestic dispute.
On February 16th, Nettie and Kyle Pred attempted to hold an intervention for Jordan as Nettie had been told that Jordan was the primary suspect in the murder of Kayden. Later that day Jordan shoot at Nettie's ambulance after they had an argument. She'd later have to administer CPR for him after he'd been gunned down during a police pursuit.
On February 20th, Jordan murdered Boba Stone after he admitted to snitching to the LSPD about Jordan's plans to undermine the police force with his private security company, Steele Security.
On February 23rd, Nettie broke off her engagement to Jordan due to his mental instability after the preceding events.
On February 28th, Nettie applied for a leave of absence and went on a two week vacation to decompress after recent events.
On March 3rd, Nettie was held in contempt of court during an appeals trial for Jordan. During the recess they reconciled their differences and decided to continue their relationship. After the trial they were both apprehended for outstanding warrants and sent to Bolingbroke Penitentiary together.
On March 5th, Nettie was put on suspension and given 15 strike points for being charged with contempt and serving time in prison.
Between March 5th and March 7th, Nettie began working at Jordan's parking lot and aided Steele Security in a handful of endeavors. Notably in rescuing Wilhelmina Copperpot and keeping Jordan abreast of events during the company's ongoing feud with the Angels. Although, at the time, Nettie was not directly employed by Steele Security.
On March 6th, Nettie learned from Kizzy that Jessie had passed away.
On March 8th, Nettie's suspension ended. Though at the time she was still on leave of absence from EMS.
On March 13th, Nettie's leave of absence ended. Coincidentally on a Friday.
On March 17th, after months of struggling with discontent in her career, Nettie resigned from EMS.

Summer, 2020

On March 23rd, Nettie was hypnotized and made a sleeper agent by Thomas Dwayne for Melbert Rickenbacker. Jordan was initially adamant that the process be reversed but eventually decided to leverage the situation to form an alliance between Steele Security and Prune Gang.
On April 4th, Nettie and Jordan married at the Vinewood Cemetery shortly after a fake funeral was held for Apples. During their reception at Garage Q, the newlyweds found themselves assaulted by the Leanbois and the Angels.
On April 16th, Nettie went to Thomas for another hypno session because she felt that she was continually being taken advantage of by Mel and Prune Gang. Thomas removed Nettie's loyalty to Mel and changed her trigger word from "Prune" to "War". Effectively making her a sleeper agent for Thomas and the Illuminati instead.
On April 20th, Thomas activated Nettie and had her act as a member of his private security detail for a meeting between himself and Brian Knight. Copperpot and several other employees of Garage Q attempted to intervene, indirectly causing Nettie and Brian to unintentionally get into a brief firefight with each other outside of the lawyer offices.
In early May, Thomas faked his death and went into hiding. It was during this period that he started working closely with Choi Zhangsun to undermine Steele Security's attempts to acquire Garage T.
On May 12th, Thomas had Copperpot and Apples abducted and critically injured to send Steele Security a message to halt their efforts to acquire Garage T.
On May 14th, Nettie met with Apples and learned that Thomas was behind the assault.
On May 19th, following the death of Bodean Tucker, Nettie had a brief exchange with Dan Faily that made her further conflicted on supporting Thomas.
On May 25th, one of Nettie's therapists, Johnathan Wright, took her on an unsolicited therapy ride and momentarily locked her Parsons after implying that he was going to leave her there. She's since made a police report and taken the issue to her lawyer with the intent to file a civil suit against him. She would later discover that Pillbox had Crane on retainer and she couldn't use him.
On May 30th, Nettie reunited with Tracy for the first time in nearly 8 months. Their ensuing argument caused Nettie to kidnap Tracy and threaten to kill her. After being let go, Tracy resolved to become a cop if Nettie refused to divorce Jordan and marry her instead.
On May 31st, after having ghosted Thomas for weeks, he finally confronted Nettie and they had an awkward discussion where they both danced around the truth regarding her loyalty to his cause and her knowledge of Steele Security's propaganda war for T.
On June 2nd, while searching for a lawyer to file her case, Nettie was abducted by Cody Speedwagon and nearly died after he exploded two canisters while she was standing between them. She sustained significant burns to her left arm and was put in the ICU.
On June 3rd, Nettie was discharged from the ICU and informed Copperpot about what had transpired. Nettie also discussed the fact that Thomas faked his death with Copperpot and described his then-current disguise in detail.
On June 4th, Nettie's lawsuit was accepted by Judge Katya Zamalodchikova after being filed by Lachlan Pike.
Later in the day, Nettie gunned down Jordan at the lot after he stabbed her then best friend, Hal Apenyo, because he believed Nettie to be cheating with him and buying meth.
On June 5th, after attempting to occupy Garage T with Jordan, Nettie was detained by Officer Sam Baas on a felony traffic stop without a reason given for the arrest. After being taking to a police lineup and cut loose, Nettie was left shaken and became paranoid that Steele Security was being investigated by the LSPD for something.
On June 6th, Nettie and Jordan had a falling out at the lot when an argument broke out between them while she was trying to share her suspicions regarding a potential police investigation. She then decided to go on a hiatus from work after leaving the scene.
On June 9th, Nettie turned 28.
On June 22nd, Copperpot and Apples crippled Thomas' operation after they caught him in an ambush and exposed several of his higher profile agents to the Leanbois as sleeper cells worked for their businesses.
On June 24th, Tracy quit her job as a doctor and enrolled in the police dispatcher program.
On June 28th, Jordan, Denzel, Apples, and Pepe breached the Legion Square bank as Steele Security while it was being robbed by the South Side Ballas. During the ensuing shootout the hostage, Samuel O'Faolain, was shot in the crossfire and died shortly after at the hospital.
On July 3rd, Reid and other members of The Lost began plotting their revenge for the death of O'Faolain as he was a former member of their motorcycle club.
On July 6th, Reid began terrorizing Garage Q and pulling numerous petty pranks on the lot employees.
On July 11th, Nettie returned to the city. Where she went and why is a mystery as she's told numerous conflicting stories since her return.
On July 17th, Nettie attended August and Apples' wedding. After the ceremony she aided them in hijacking an aircraft during the after party and flew it while they ejected passengers mid-flight.
On July 21st, Bailey Jade became a co-chief of EMS alongside Khloe Brooks.
On August 6th, Khloe resigned from EMS and Bailey became the sole Chief of the department.

Autumn, 2020

On October 21st, Nettie returned to the city and told Jordan she was $350,000 in debt with a Vegas mob after going on a 3 month gambling spree on the half-dollar slots.
On December 4th, Nettie accompanied Copperpot to a meeting with Judge Stanton about government funding for Q. During the meeting Copperpot pulled a gun on him, which later let to him putting the business contact for the lot under review.
On December 11th, the ownership of the Q contract was brought to court for review. During the proceedings, Jordan admitted to sleeping with Jean which indirectly led to Nettie leaving the review before a final decision was declared.
In mid December, Nettie began grifting people for money by running a scam where she asked for handouts while saying that she was homeless.
On December 18th, Nettie hired Ava Renaud as a therapist and commissioned a will from Tobi Argent.
On December 20th, Jordan married Nancy behind Nettie's back.

Winter, 2021

On January 11th, Nettie attempted to attend a murder trial for Bree Matthews but was kicked out. She then reconnected with Bailey after having not seen her for close to 8 months. Bailey then informed Nettie that Jordan had been attempting to date and marry numerous women in her absence.
On January 14th, Nettie reconnected with Mari Jones and learned that she planned to move out of the city and resign from EMS later in the month. Later that day Nettie would learn from Charlotte Moore that Jordan had married Nancy.
On January 16th, Gremlin recruited Nettie into her blood cult.
On January 24th, Nettie was hired by Crusade Medical Center.
In late January, Nettie got into an argument with Jordan and lit her home on fire to spite him. The incident resulted in the carport crushing her Michelli GT and caused the family dog, a golden retriever named Chester, to drown in the Vespucci Canals after he leapt from the second story balcony.

2021-Present (3.0)

Spring, 2021

As of early February, Nettie is now homeless after she burned down her home and is living out of a Dilettante.
On March 19th, Nettie began interviewing for several jobs. She eventually ran into her old friend Bailey Jade and pranked her by pretending to be interested in an EMS job. Nettie later snuck into MRPD and took several selfies in the conference room, pretending that she was getting a job as an LSPD cadet on Twitter to tease Bailey.
On March 21st, Nettie began spreading a lie that Jordan Steele had passed away and that she was a widow.
On April 10th, Nettie met a bilingual woman named Trixie and leveraged their language barrier to con her into a date.
On April 15th, Nettie attended the public debate between Jenny Hall, Travis Tribble, Kyle Pred, Randy Wrangler, Richard Dark, and Cletus Cornwood regarding the upcoming sheriff election. During the debate Nettie ran into Dan Faily and asked him to pass a note along to Jenny saying that she endorsed her run for sheriff.
On May 4th, Nettie ran into deputy TJ Mack and he tried to convince her to rejoin EMS. Later on Mack detained Nettie and Valentina Hops after they kidnapped an MRPD parking attendant to be a customer for their taxi service. They were eventually cut loose after sweet-talking their way out of the charges.
On May 16th, Nettie was interviewed for a Department of Corrections position by Wynona Fontaine.
On May 25th, Nettie went on a DoC walk-along with Fontaine and was given a mission to seduce Ronald Otterman so that the department could purchase one of his LSBN billboards.

Summer, 2021

On September 3rd, Nettie prank called Tracy and tried to pretend that she was trapped in another dimension to make Tracy bring her a machete. Tracy saw through the lie, forcing Nettie to smooth talk her way through the conversation by claiming that Jordan was dead and that she was ready to hold hands with Tracy; provided she was brought a machete.
Later in the conversation she also revealed to Tracy that she was in the closet because Bovice hired a lesbian to murder her in 2019.
On September 4th, Nettie set up shop at the fishing stand in Paleto and began harassing fishermen and booth operators at the farmer's market.
On September 5th, as a prank Nettie began telling fishermen in Paleto that if they run into "Officer Martell" to tell her that, "Nettie was ready to do a hand-hold, but she unfortunately no longer has hands."
On September 8th, Sully, Petunia, and Dewey told Nettie that Copperpot had reestablished the business license for Steele Family Parking & Impound Lot.
On September 11th, Dr. Agnes' pet spider, Harvey, died while she was in prison. Agnes later hired Nettie as an assistant and gave her a PD Glock which she'd robbed from Roy Armstrong as she intended to "Waco" the hospital in the future.
On September 17th, Nettie called Tracy again to ask if she'd found a machete. Tracy told her she couldn't find one, so Nettie shifted the conversation towards asking her out on a second date instead.
On September 19th, Agnes Waco'd Pillbox with the help of the Blocks and Nettie. After negotiations broke down Agnes began rifling through the hostages which in turn caught lobby on fire as it had been doused in gasoline. During the commotion Nettie fled behind the reception area and ditched the PD Glock that Agnes had given her. After the shootout Nettie was detained by Trooper Ripley and implied during questioning that Mike Block had given her the gun and forced her to have it out during the standoff. After giving a statement, Ripley cut Nettie loose.

Autumn, 2021

On September 30th, Nettie learned that Jordan was still alive while she was passing off illegal weapons to Copperpot and Dewey. Realizing that her façade was over, she fled the property just as Jordan pulled into the tow yard.
Later that night Jordan told numerous people at the tow yard that Nettie was executed on Christmas while he was chained to a radiator. Among the people he told were Kriz Khaoz, Ennex Siah, and Sean Deane - acquaintances who Nettie had previously told that Jordan died in a housefire.
On October 27th, Nettie bought a Canis Kamacho from PDM with Jordan's life insurance money and seeded plans to start a militia. Later on, Sean ran into Nettie and told Jordan that she was alive. Jordan then asked Sean to tell Nettie that he was murdered by a gang of roaming teenage skateboarders and a midget.
On November 17th, Nettie made plans to meet up with Copperpot and Sully to scout out Christmas themed booths at the farmer's market. Sully later bought Nettie a machete from Shadow at the old Garage Q parking lot. Together they then helped Copperpot stage a fake kidnapping, as she was upset at Shadow for rejecting her previous romantic advances.
In early December, Nettie abandoned her plans to start a Christmas pop up booth at the farmers market as it required too much effort.
On December 31st, Nettie attended a New Years Eve party but ended up passing out in a bush after she got drunk and claimed to have poisoned the punchbowl.

Spring, 2022

In May, Nettie returned to the city after deciding she wanted to sell her Kamacho. She implied that she recently spent several months in prison for violating a restraining order when she broke into Sandra Bullock's Beverly Hills mansion and leaked nude photos of the celebrity bathing online.
In late May, while searching for buyers Nettie met Scruffy Doodle and became fast friends with him, bonding over their missing and "dead" spouses. Scruffy would later pledge his loyalty to Nettie when she gifted him a pair of shoes that she had stolen from a children's hospital; claiming that she had freed him like a House Elf by doing so. Afterwards, Scruffy gave her a pair of his clown shoes to remember him by.
In early June, Jordan Steele began his expungement process to become a lawyer. He later created a law firm with Bill Maze and Rory O'Banion's called, Steele O'Banion & Friends. Jordan then hired Peach Chee as a legal aid and began dating her.
On June 7th, Scruffy murdered his secretary, Aurora Sparks, after being kidnapped by her, Barbra Thunk, and Kiki Pendragon. His lawyer, Bill Maze managed to talk the charges down from murder to self defense.
On June 8th, Lea Nova asked Jordan to prosecute Kiki for accomplice to kidnapping and the attempted 2nd degree murder of Scruffy. After meeting with Lea, Jordan met with Scruffy and they discussed plans for civil suits against Kiki and Barbra. During the meeting, Scruffy mentioned being surprised that Jordan was alive after some "crazy machete woman" claimed he died in a fire.
On June 17th, Nettie began listing herself in the yellow pages as an unlicensed therapist-taxi driver. After meeting with handful of patients and David Wonders, she went to get her Kamacho repaired at Ottos' Autos. There she ran into Mila Smoak who told Nettie that Jordan is definitely alive, a lawyer, and is her grandfather - making Nettie her grandmother. Nettie then left the auto shop and mused about getting a job at a car dealership or rejoining EMS to buy a personal ambulance.
On June 18th, Nettie attended a PBSO job fair to visit her old friend, Jenny Hall. As part of a prank, she decided to sneak into a line of of newly hired cadets and pretend that she was interviewed. During the event she met Charlotte Spade and started negging her. After the fair ended, she began driving Charlotte around the city and ran into several old friends and acquaintances, including Isabella Carrington and Scruffy. Scruffy then joined them as Nettie went job hunting around the city, with Scruffy eventually helping Nettie get in touch with Shelly Smith for an interview at Burger Shot.
On June 19th, Mila told Jordan that she'd met "grandma" and that Nettie knew he was alive. Jordan then became apoplectic at the news and feigned being in witness protection, claiming that he faked his death and that Nettie was a terrorist. He then told Mila that she was a terrible granddaughter and that she'd ruined Father's Day for him. Incidentally, this Father's Day was also Nettie's birthday.

Summer, 2022

On July 23rd, Walter Melon, an old friend who once wingmanned for Nettie when she attempted to woo Bailey Jade, gave her an interview at Burger Shot. During the interview she was presented with the trolley problem, where she was asked to choose between saving a bunch of babies, a bag of puppies, or a plate of burgers being eaten by am obese man. After some deliberation she decided that her answer was to save none of them and hit all three options with the train. Later that night she was added to the roster by Shelly.
On July 30th, at the behest of Rivington Rivera and Hal Apenyo Nettie began doing volunteer EMS work with some of her old friends. Riv proposed the notion of getting in contact with EMS Bob to relaunch Crusade Medical to supersede the now defunct Crazy Science Division which was formerly run by Agnes Ranbough. Following the discussion, Nettie went on to pull a volunteer EMS shift with Hal, Artorius, and Lester Sweets; the latter being Demi Black's boyfriend, which became awkward as Nettie regularly attempted to hook up with her. Throughout the shift Nettie scored several phone numbers from various women before she stubbled across Headphones, an old crush who she'd met earlier in the year.
On August 2nd, Nettie met with Serge Cross about purchasing a civilian Class 2 weapons license. Being friends and former colleges from their time working together at Pillbox in 2019, Cross agreed to give her one with minimal hesitation.
On August 5th, Riv and Tim Buratler ran into Nettie at Burger Shot and briefly discussed the state of EMS in the city. Riv then told Nettie to hold off on joining if she's still interested, and to consider waiting for EMS Bob to return. He also told her she could purchase a personal ambulance if she does join.
On August 6th, Nettie befriended Jemma Zimmerman and gave her voice-coach lessons, as Jemma's fake southern accent kept slipping into a British accent. Later in the evening Nettie developed a hostile rivalry with another co-worker by the name of Zara Emersyn, after Nettie found out she lied to her about being a lesbian.
On August 7th, Nettie heard a rumor from Jerry Gibbs that other Burgershot employees were under the impression that she was Shelly's daughter; a narrative which she's since decided to take advantage of to slack off at work.
On August 8th, Nettie began feuding with Charlotte Spade over her friendship with Jemma. Coincidentally, Jemma was the friend who Charlotte was supporting at the PBSO job fair when Nettie first met them.
On August 15th, Nettie attempted at woo Barbra Thunk in the Burgershot parking lot but was interrupted by a reunion with Carmella Corset.
On August 16th, Nettie hit on Charlotte Fairfield and attempted to ask her out on a date. She was ultimately rejected after some trepidation from Charlotte. The rejection made Nettie irate and she confided her annoyance with women to Sooty Gamwich, a co-worker, in the Burgershot bathroom. The conversation ended with Sooty and Nettie deciding that they hate women.
On August 15th, Jordan returned to the city and found himself in significant debt after he neglected to pay the loan he took out from Mila for a car. After a phone call with Serge Cross he decided to run for judge under Scarlet Winters' name because she had dropped out of the election.
Later that day, Nettie ran into her old friend, Kelly Smith at Burgershot. There Kelly told her that he was finally publishing his erotic novel, "The Biker and The Babe" with the help of Mila. Nettie then helped him sell books at his book signing.
On August 20th, Barbra asked Nettie to be her girlfriend. After saying yes, Barbra immediately gave Nettie keys to her Vinewood home.
On August 21st, Nettie ran into Scruffy at Burgershot and told him that she'd recently begun dating Barbra. Later in the evening, Nettie bought a tent to set up in Barbra's yard as she wasn't comfortable moving in yet.
On August 22nd, Barbra briefly talked to Bryce Miller about dating Nettie.
On August 23rd, Bryce ran into Nettie at Burgershot and she asked him what caused him to break up with Barbra. Then they agreed that they should hang out again at some point to catch up.
On August 26th, Zara began being excessively friendly with Nettie again after breaking up with her boyfriend. Nettie believed Zara was being suspicious and saw through her attempts to make her think Hal was attracted to her. After the phone call, Nettie called out Zara as being the one that was interested in her and texted Barbra about the exchange, despite Zara's protests as she believed Barbra is a psycho that would stab her.
On August 27th, Zara was fired from Burgershot by Tomathy Steampipe.
On August 31st, Nettie reconnected with Bailey and the pair spent the day hanging out. Bailey lamented some of the recent changes with EMS during her absence from the city and asked Nettie for her help in finding a new partner. Later that day, they picked up Hal and played a round of Bingo at the Liquid Library before visiting Kinda Weird. Once at Kinda Weird they snooped around it's haunted house attraction and had their tarots read.
On September 1st, Nettie found out Zara had been fired from Maldini's. Wanting to tease and console her, Nettie called and asked her to hang out. She later went to the arcade with Zara they played a match against Garry and Otis.
Later that night, Barbra confronted Nettie about her tent being missing from in front of the house, with Barbra assuming Nettie was cheating and moved her tent into another woman's yard. Nettie then lied and said she moved her tent into the Vespucci canals, causing Barbra to call Nettie's bluff and drive into the canals in search of the tent. Nettie managed to derail the search when she ran off and chased down a cat. Despite trying to dissuade Nettie from kicking it, Barbra dumped the cat in the canals to hide the evidence of the attack.
On September 5th, Barbra encouraged Nettie to kick a dog over the phone and was surprised when she actually did it. Later in the night, Nettie met Delver Lee at Windsong's trailer and he hired her as a lumberjack to cut down a dying tree.
On September 8th, Barba was gunned down while on a Dodo run with Bryce.
On September 12, Nettie had a fight with Barbra over the phone and attempted to make up by visiting Bryce's new prank shop, Shits and Giggles. After meeting at the shop Barbra got into another argument with Nettie and pulled a knife on her when Nettie kept receiving phone calls while they were mid-conversation. Nettie made up with Barbra before leaving when Barbra asked her to tow Bryce's car as a prank. During the tow Nettie got into a gunfight with Jack Cortair when he pulled up to kidnap hostages for a bank. After returning to Shits and Giggles from the hospital, Nettie left with Barbra to blow off steam and Barbra alluded to the possibility that she might propose in the future.
On September 13th, Nettie met up with an old friend from Garage Q, Clarence Shiddleticks. After doing some towing with Clarence, Nettie met up with Shelly at Burgershot. Hal then showed up in a disguise and gave Nettie some LSD. Afterwards, Nettie left with Shelly and Hobo Slick to take Tomathy to PDM so he could buy a new car. During their drive, Slick was pulled over by an officer and attempted to flee because he didn't have a license and was on probation. After the short lived chase, Nettie and Shelly were detained while Slick was being arrested and Nettie managed to avoid being searched with Hal's LSD in her pockets.
Later that night, after returning to Burgershot with Shelly, Nettie met up with Preacher and she took Hal's LSD while Preacher was getting into an altercation with his daughter. Nettie's trip turned bad when she began hallucinating hostile clowns and she ended up asking Barbra to pick her up over the phone. After being picked up, Barbra decided to run Shelly over in the parking lot because they hate each other, but the crash caused Tomathy to shoot down Nettie and Barbra in self-defense. After being taken to the hospital, Nettie assaulted a doctor for drawing a picture of Barbra's breasts, and then Preacher arrived to give them a ride back to Barbra's car. The couple then briefly went house hunting in Sandy Shores while Nettie talked about prior relationships, specifically her former beards Jordan and Jerry Callow. During their house hunt Nettie stomped a chicken to death and Barbra kicked a cow while they checked out a ranch house.
On September 15th, Nettie wired Barbra $25k to help her pay for asset fees and vehicle repairs.
On September 18th, Barbra decided to sell her Vinewood home as the asset fees had bleed her account dry.
In late September, rumors of Travis Tribble and Frank Williams returning to the city caused Nettie to briefly consider rejoining PD.

Spring, 2023

In late March, Nettie returned to the city after ice road trucking in Alaska for several months.
Shortly after returning she attempted to break up with Barbra by declaring their relationship "brakked" through text messages, but Barbra refused to humor it.
On April 1st, Nettie purchased a Savestra from Malakai Anderson. Later in the evening, Barbra called Nettie and confronted her about trying to break up with her after she'd been away for several months.

Quotes[]

"Remember me as I once was."
"I'll be a beacon of despair."
"I'm lost in a cloud of how wonderful I am."
"Boba, do you mind if I objectify your wife in front of Tracy to make her jealous?"
"I was court ordered off the internet for stalking Reba McEntire and Sandra Bullock."
"It's just like what Peyton Sawyer, from the hit tv show One Tree Hill, would always say, 'People always leave.'"
"Listen Bailey, I've tased people on duty. I've beaten people unconscious on duty. I decapitated a woman on duty... Allegedly, allegedly!"
"How's that saying go? Wait until the fat something or other? Ohhhh wait until the fat lady sings, that's right! Anyone have Jean's number?"
"Well how can you tell the crazy ones from the non-crazy ones considering all women are crazy? I can personally attest to this, have you seen me?"
"Ohhhhh, Gioconda Coppola! That sounds like a venereal disease, 'I went overseas and caught the Gioconda Coppola.' You see, this is why it's important to remember to get your booster shots."

Trivia[]

"Dammit Nettie, why can't you be normal? What ya need is to go get ya'self a hobby or somethin' instead of torturing these poor people with this nonsense." - Travis Tribble

Trivia

Nettie is a Gemini, though she claims to be a Pisces.
She frequently claims to be taller than she actually is.
She often implies that she's a serial killer to scare strangers for her own amusement.
She claims she can't read and write, often in mid-conversation with someone while she's browsing her phone.
She claims to be 6'5 and a former WMBA player, despite actually being 5'9.
She regularly implies that she's killed all her immediate family members in fire related accidents. A narrative which seems to extend to significant others as she's implied that a she gave a college crush third degree burns for breaking her heart and that Jordan Steele died in a BBQ accident.
She claims to no longer have ribs after a serious automotive accident that put her in the ICU.
She claims that all her teeth fell out and that she wears dentures because of a Mountain Dew addiction.
She claims to have immaculate nails and slender hands; so much so that her mother insisted that she became a hand model as a teenager. This is despite a conflicting narrative of her parents perishing in a Christmas house fire when she was a child.

Having been in the city for over 6 years, Nettie's had a diverse employment history. In the past she's been a police officer, a medic, a parking valet, and a tow truck driver.

She spent roughly half a year in the LSPD and resigned as a sergeant in December, 2017.

While in the LSPD, she founded the Criminal Investigation Division and lead the department as an administrative head; though she seldom participated in detective field work. ^{^[1]}

She spent roughly 9 to 10 months working for EMS in 2019 before resigning as a Paramedic FTO in February, 2020. ^{^[2]}

One of her prominent accomplishments in EMS was helping Mari Jones overhaul the hiring process for the department as it was facing sustained and demoralizing turn-over among freshly hired trainees that weren't being honest in interviews regarding availability and interest in the field.

She was notably responsible for the EMS FTO report standards being relaxed, as Mari considered her an invaluable asset for the program despite being too lazy to write detailed reports. ^{^[3]}

While a paramedic, she occasionally implied that she bounced between being a theatre and psychology major while college. Despite never becoming an actress, she would later lean heavily on these skillsets during her various grifts after she resigned from government work.

She has notably pretended to be an unlicensed therapist and deliberately gave her "patients" bad advice to sabotage their lives so that they'd come back to her as repeat clients.

In the past she's also utilized her knowledge of the psych process to collect and emotionally terrorize inexperienced therapists during sessions for her own amusement.

Nettie owns a Dilettante, a Savestra, and a Kamacho. The license plate on her Kamacho reads: "WIDOWED".

She formerly owned a house on Imagination Court in the Vespucci Canals. But it burned down in a fire.

Despite owning a home in the Vespucci Canals, she seldom slept there. She instead elected to live in the janitor's closet at Pillbox until the hospital staff changed the locks on her after she resigned from EMS. ^{^[4]}

Prior to her house burning down, she owned a Rhapsody, a Glendale, a Michelli GT, and a Faggio v3.

Nettie tends to find possessiveness incredibly attractive, particularly in individuals who she's already dating or has a crush on.

She had a long running on-again, off-again relationship with Tracy Martell and frequently pulled dramatic stunts while attempting to woo her. ^{^[5]} ^{^[6]}

She slowly assimilated many of Tracy's personal idioms and catchphrases while they were dating.

Despite Tracy claiming that Nettie was her fiancé, they were never formally engaged.

She briefly dated Kathrine Kaspar for a single day before dumping her after finding out she had cheated on her with a man in less than 24 hours. ^{^[7]}

She spent over a year in the closet and married Jordan Steele because she believed Bovice Wilkinson intended to have her assassinated by a lesbian. ^{^[8]}

She has heavily implied that she attempted to murder Jordan in a housefire that was staged as an accident. Whether or not she actually attempted this is up in the air as they both frequently avoid running into each other and have told strangers to inform the other that they're dead. ^{^[9]} ^{^[10]}

Despite Jordan being alive, she has also implied she committed fraud by regularly collecting life insurance on him.

Although neither Jordan nor Nettie are dead, they both regularly lie to women about the status of their spouse in attempts to score pity dates by claiming to be widowed.

Similar to her relationship with Jordan, she has formerly been engaged to a handful of other men. Specifically Reed Dankleaf and Jerry Callow during her "straight phases".

Strangers often assume that Nettie's a serial killer despite her largely being harmless. ^{^[11]}

Her frequent manic mood swings and callous demeanor have occasionally caused others to erroneously believe that she's a sociopath.

Despite not being a sociopath, she does display traits associated with Psychopathy and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

She sometimes carries an umbrella during the day to make gullible and superstitious people paranoid that she's a vampire.

She's been known to commit arbitrary acts of violence against animals and harbors a genuine hatred towards them. ^{^[12]} ^{^[13]} ^{^[14]} ^{^[15]}

She has a history of being a celebrity stalker and has received multiple restraining orders from her celebrity crush, Sandra Bullock. ^{^[16]}

She's notably claimed to have been forced off the internet for 3 months for stalking Sandra online, and has recently claimed she spent several months in prison for breaking into Sandra's home and taking voyeuristic photos of the celebrity bathing. ^{^[17]}

She holds bizarre beliefs regarding religion and has been involved with several cults including Heaven's Gate: II, Scientology, Rickyism, Flat Earthers, and believes herself to be 95% immortal after joining Gremlin's blood-cult.

Her reasons for joining cults are often vain. She joined Heaven's Gate for free Nikes, Scientology because she believed Sandra was a member, and the blood-cult for eternal youth.