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Dick Fillet is a character role-played by BananaDuck.


"A pretentious Brit who thinks he is better than all of us and is the worst human possible" - Ursula

Dick is a law-abiding citizen who loves to follow traffic lights. He works as a freelance news reporter and loves to give ratings to people and establishments for his reviews. He is currently looking for a wife to get his mother's inheritance that is a set of cheese knives.

The Dick Fillet Report

Dick makes independent videos for his documentary "The Dick Fillet Report". The show is currently shopped to LSBN.

Number Title Summary Video
1 Satellite Dishes Pilot episode. Dick rates satellite dishes around Los Santos. Link🔗
2 Manholes Dick gives a history of manholes. Link🔗
3 Ursula Leichenberg A comprehensive report on Ursula Leichenberg. Link 🔗


  • Dick has a mild case of hemorrhoids. He sometimes lather hemorrhoid cream on the seat of his moped called Darlene.
  • He feels like a 'bad ass' when he wears his 'Pimp Fillet' outfit.
  • Dick loves cheese so much he sweats profusely while eating it.
  • His talent is Mongolian throat singing.