Conan Clarkson

Conan Clarkson is a character role-played by Ramee.

Background Information Edit

Conan Clarkson is a Senior Deputy and Park Ranger for the BCSO, Badge #399.

Conan Clarkson, born and raised in Liberty City, always wanted to be a Park Ranger. Ever since he was a boy, he had a fascination for wildlife and nature. He would always bring home rabbits and squirrels to his mum to see if he could eat it.

Eventually, he grew out of bringing home roadkill, and decided to preserve parks and oversee recreations. He moved to Los Santos and became a Park Ranger for the San Andreas State Parks Center, though he isn't great at his job.

Many people call him "Cockless Clarkson". He is honestly a big deal.

General Description Edit

First of his name, last of his kind. Conan Clarkson is the last Park Ranger to grace the city of Los Santos. He is famous for his general incompetence, lack of driving ability, and also his lack of a penis.

According to Ziggy Buggs, Park Ranger Clarkson hasn't performed the "ritual on the mountain" to be a REAL Park Ranger. That doesn't stop him from driving his Park Ranger truck, patrolling Park Ranger HQ, and taking care of any fallen mountain lions.

Park Ranger Clarkson fears NOTHING. Coyotes? Please, don't insult him. Warlords? HA nice one. Park Ranger Clarkson is a mountain lion whisperer. He is one with nature. That is his natural habitat. Murder Kitties fear Clarkson.

Clarkson gives free tours of the Park Ranger's office. Often he would start with lifting and eventually, killing the coyote on top of the hill in front of the ranger's office.

He works with Jessica, who will shoot anyone that stands too close to her.

Compromising Footage Edit

Following an incident at the prison where Garfield Henderson attempted to bite Clarkson's thigh (but bit too far up, and ended up biting Clarkson's penis off), his fellow officers had the body part put on ice. Clarkson was transported to the hospital, but after a series of events, the body part was stolen. A group of masked men held for ransom, demanding Clarkson to come visit them to retrieve it. When Clarkson arrived, he was instead held up at gun point, and forced to eat it on camera.

Eventually, Uchiha Jones contacted him and was able him a new "shoko", crafted by Boston Dynamics. Clarkson calls it the "Fuckmaster 9000".

Conan Clarkson Drug Usage Edit

On November 29th, 2019, while visiting the prison, Clarkson received a bag of "ass meth" from a Russian inmate. In return, he reduced the time of the inmate and tried the ass meth. He became addicted to the drug, continued to use it multiple times, and smuggled some out of the prison. Clarkson also gave a sample of the drug to Judge LaBarre, who refused to try it, and advised him to destroy it.

Achievements Edit

1. The LAST and ONLY park ranger.

Trivia Edit

• Has gotten a sex change as a woman for a short period of time.
• Has cosplayed as both Kael Soze and Dr. Disrespect.
• It has been stated many times that Conan is just Ramee with a badge.
• Despite his job as park ranger, he is employed by the Blaine Country Sheriff's Office, instead of the State of San Andreas Parks Department.

Quotes Edit

• "I'm the last of its kind the last Park Ranger."
• "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
• "Do you know who you're fucking with? You're fucking with a Park Ranger."
• "I'm just a Park Ranger."
• "What's up douchebag? This is Conan Clarkson."
• "This is Park Ranger Conan Clarkson with The San Andreas Park Center, operating under the Blaine County Sheriff's Office."
• "This is Conan "Code 4" Clarkson aka Triple C."
• "Are you serious right now?"
• "Dude."
• "I'm not an officer, I'm a Park Ranger."
• "Its time to catch these fucking scumbags."
• "This city is a dying whore."
• "Are you brain dead?"
• "I'm kinda a big deal."
• "I get busy in these streets. I fuck bitches, get money."
• "I'm all about that static."

CopypastasEdit

• We get it, you wanna win. A fucking cop that is a non-stop try hard, hangs around the pink cage looking for the newbies to the city so you can arrest them to pad your stats, camps the jewelry store after a tsunami, walks away from your own arrests so you don't have to do the paperwork and stays away from the hood because you know they will easily take you out. Have a good one bud.
• Listen here you tsunami rushing 🌊 one pump dumping 🔫 house robbing 🏠 7:30 pawning ⏰ oxy running 💊 car chopping 🚗 weed selling 🌳 Pokémon card selling 🐹 brake checking 🚫 tire tazing 🔧 mag dumping 💢 cop car stealing 🚨 cop impersonating 👮 gas pouring ⛽ great ocean fleeca robbing 🤑 crack smoking ⚗️ cocaine snorting ⛷️ lockpicking 🔑 aluminum buying 🗜️ stock selling 📈 2-man vaulting 🏦 with no ID on them 📇 SCUMBAGS.

Clips Edit

1. the 2 time!!
2. Show me your hands
3. Ramee KEKW clip
4. INCEPTION
5. gets new car crashes instantly
6. conan clarkson perma'd by firing squad 
7. RAUUUUUL
8. my immersion
9. park ranger for Halloween
10. park ranger takes meth

Gallery & Media Edit

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