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Conan Clarkson is a character role-played by Ramee.

General Description

Conan Clarkson is a Ranger for the San Andreas State Park Rangers, Badge #299

Background Information

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Conan Clarkson, born and raised in Liberty City, always wanted to be a Park Ranger. Ever since he was a boy, he had a fascination for wildlife and nature. He would always bring home rabbits and squirrels to his mom to see if he could eat it.

Eventually, he grew out of bringing home roadkill, and decided to preserve parks and oversee recreations. He moved to Los Santos and became a Park Ranger for the San Andreas State Parks Center, where he works with Jessica, who will shoot anyone that stands too close to her.

Momentous Dates within the PD

Rank Insignia Note Date
Ranger
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PD Ranking Restructure; Badge #399 February 5th, 2021
Ranger
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Changed badge number to #299 March 2nd, 2021
Sergeant
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Allowed to wear sergeant stripes for the rest of the day by Tony Andrews April 20th, 2021
Ranger
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Officially told to remove sergeant stripes by Tony Andrews April 23rd, 2021

The Park Ranger's History

First of his name, last of his kind. Conan Clarkson is the last Park Ranger to grace the city of Los Santos. He is famous for his general incompetence, lack of driving ability, and also his lack of a penis.

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According to the Original Park Ranger, Ziggy Buggs, Clarkson hasn't performed the "ritual on the mountain" to be a REAL Park Ranger. That doesn't stop Clarkson from driving his Park Ranger truck, patrolling the Park Ranger HQ , and taking care of any fallen mountain lions.

Park Ranger Clarkson fears NOTHING. Coyotes? - Please, don't insult him. Warlords? - HA, nice one. Park Ranger Clarkson is a mountain lion whisperer. He is one with nature. That is his natural habitat. Murder Kitties fear Clarkson.

Clarkson gives free tours of his Park Ranger's office. He would start the tour by lifting (and eventually killing) the coyote on top of the hill in front of the Park Ranger's office.

Current Events

Compromising footage

Following an incident at the prison where Garfield Henderson attempted to bite Clarkson's thigh (but bit too far up, and ended up biting Clarkson's penis off), his fellow officers had the body part put on ice. Clarkson was transported to the hospital; but after a series of events, the body part was stolen. 

A group of masked men held for ransom, demanding Clarkson to come visit them to retrieve it. When Clarkson arrived, he was held up at gunpoint, and forced to eat it on camera.

Eventually, Uchiha Jones contacted him and was able him a new "shoko", crafted by Boston Dynamics. Clarkson calls it the "Fuckmaster 9000".

Drug Usage

On November 29th, 2019, while on duty as a Corrections Officer at Bolingbroke Penitentiary, Clarkson received a bag of "ass meth" from a Russian inmate. In return, he reduced the time of the inmate, and tried the ass meth. 

Clarkson became addicted to the drug, continued to use it multiple times; smuggling some out of the prison. Clarkson gave a sample of the drug to Judge LaBarre, who refused to try it, and advised Clarkson to destroy it.

Employment Status

In July of 2020, it was discovered Conan was living out in the forest after becoming uneasy with the status and direction the police department was going back in March/April. Conan was called upon by Jesus to bring back order to the city. Conan is now regularly seen in action fighting crime and is working towards his Interceptor certification.

Relationships

Jessica the Park Ranger

Conan had a relationship with her, but on 2020-03-15 she was brutally executed by Conan after rejecting him in public.

Achievements

  1. December 18th is National Park Ranger Day. In celebration of Clarkson's sole ranking, the entire police force bears the Park Ranger uniform, vehicle livery, and operates under the callsign of 399.
  • The LAST and ONLY park ranger.
  • Had a sex change to a woman for a short period of time.
  • Has a pet turtle named Mehdi.
  • Has cosplayed as both Kael Soze and Dr. Disrespect.
  • It has been stated many times that Conan is just "Ramee El-Rahman with a badge".
  • Despite his rank of Park Ranger, he is employed by the Blaine County Sheriff's Office, instead of the State of San Andreas Parks Department.
  • Many people call him "Cockless Clarkson" - he is honestly a big deal.
  • Has eaten his own dick
  • Was previously $35,000,000 in debt to State billed by Francis. On August 4th, 2020, Conan's debt was cleared by Bobby Smith.
  • Put a 50K bounty on Matt Rhodes and Brittany Angel.

Quotes

  • "I'm the last of its kind the last Park Ranger."
  • "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
  • "Do you know who you're fucking with? You're fucking with a Park Ranger."
  • "I'm just a Park Ranger."
  • "What's up douchebag? This is Conan Clarkson."
  • "This is Park Ranger, Conan Clarkson, with The San Andreas Park Center; operating under the Blaine County Sheriff's Office."
  • "This is Conan 'Code 4' Clarkson, aka Triple C."
  • "Are you serious right now?"
  • "Dude."
  • "I'm not an Officer; I'm a Park Ranger."
  • "It's time to catch these fucking scumbags."
  • "This city is a dying whore."
  • "Are you brain dead?"
  • "I'm kinda a big deal."
  • "I get busy in these streets. I fuck bitches, get money."
  • "I'm all about that static."
  • "Just another day in the life of a Park Ranger, what can I say."
  • "I'm $35 million in debt."
  • "Does it make sense Bob"
  • "Ranger shit baby!"

Copypastas

  • We get it, you wanna win. A fucking cop that is a non-stop try hard, hangs around the pink cage looking for the newbies to the city so you can arrest them to pad your stats, camps the jewelry store after a tsunami, walks away from your own arrests so you don't have to do the paperwork and stays away from the hood because you know they will easily take you out. Have a good one bud.
  • Listen here you tsunami rushing 🌊 one pump dumping 🔫 house robbing 🏠 7:30 pawning ⏰ oxy running 💊 car chopping 🚗 weed selling 🌳 Pokémon card selling 🐹 brake checking 🚫 tire tazing 🔧 mag dumping 💢 cop car stealing 🚨 cop impersonating 👮 gas pouring ⛽ great ocean fleeca robbing 🤑 crack smoking ⚗️ cocaine snorting ⛷️ lockpicking 🔑 aluminum buying 🗜️ stock selling 📈 2-man vaulting 🏦 with no ID on them 📇 SCUMBAGS.

Conan Clips

Gallery


Played By: Ramee
Characters: Ramee El-RahmanConan ClarksonJaheim RussellCuck ClarksonSergio PistoneDonald CrumpMatisyahu GoldenburgDominic Payne