Conan "Cockless" Clarkson is a character roleplayed by Ramee.

Description Edit

First of his name, last of his kind. Conan Clarkson is the last Park Ranger to grace the city of Los Santos, bearing the badge number of 399. He is famous for his general incompetence, lack of driving ability, and also his lack of a penis.

According to Ziggy Buggs, Park Ranger Conan Clarkson hasn't performed the "ritual on the mountain" to be a REAL Park Ranger. That doesn't stop Park Ranger Conan Clarkson from driving his Park Ranger truck, patrolling Park Ranger HQ, and taking care of any fallen mountain lions.

Has his own Park Ranger website, you can visit it Here

Bio Edit

Park Ranger Conan Clarkson, born and raised in Liberty City, always wanted to be a Park Ranger. Ever since he was a boy, he had a fascination for wildlife and nature. He would always bring home rabbits and squirrels to his mum to see if he could eat it. Eventually he grew out of bringing home roadkill and decided to preserve parks and oversee recreations. He moved to Los Santos and became a Park Ranger for the San Andreas State Parks Center, though, he isn't great at his job. Many people call him "cockless", due to the devastating ambush on the LAST Park Ranger. He is honestly a big deal:

Park Ranger Clarkson fears NOTHING. Coyotes? Please, don't insult him. Warlords? HA nice one. Park Ranger Clarkson is a mountain lion whisperer. He is one with nature. That is his natural habitat. Murder Kitties fear Clarkson.

Clarkson gives free tours of the Park Ranger's office. Often he would start with lifting and eventually, killing the coyote on top of the hill in front of the ranger's office.

He works with Jessica who will shoot anyone that stands too close to her.

Officer Consumes His Own Dick Edit

Quotes Edit

"I'm the last of its kind the last Park Ranger"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"Do you know who you're fucking with, you're fucking with a Park Ranger"

"I'm just a Park Ranger"

"What's up douchebag this is Conan Clarkson"

"This is Park Ranger Conan Clarkson with The San Andreas Park Center operating under the Blaine County Sheriff's Office"

"This is Conan "Code 4" Clarkson aka Triple C"

"Are you serious right now?"


"I'm not an officer, I'm a Park Ranger"

"Its time to catch these fucking scumbags"

"Tsunami rushing, one pump dumping, house robbing, 7:30 pawning, oxy running, car chopping, weed selling, Pokémon card selling, brake checking, tire tazing, mag dumping, cop car stealing, cop impersonating, gas pouring, great ocean fleeca robbing, crack smoking, cocaine snorting, lockpicking, aluminum buying, stock selling, 2-man vaulting, SCUMBAGS!"

"This city is a dying whore"

"Are you brain dead ?"

"I'm kinda a big deal"

Clips Edit

  1. the 2 time!!
  2. Show me your hands
  3. Ramee KEKW clip
  5. gets new car crashes instantly
  6. conan clarkson perma'd by firing squad 
  8. my immersion

Trivia Edit

  • It has been stated many times that Conan is just Ramee with a badge.
  • Despite his job as park ranger, he is employed by the Blaine Country Sheriff's Office instead of the State of San Andreas Parks Department.

Gallery Edit

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