Conan Clarkson is a character role-played by Ramee.

General Description[edit | edit source]

Conan Clarkson is a Senior Deputy for the Blaine County Sheriff's Office, Badge #399.

Clarkson also operates as a Park Ranger for the Beaver Bush Park Ranger Station.

Background Information[edit | edit source]

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Conan Clarkson, born and raised in Liberty City, always wanted to be a Park Ranger. Ever since he was a boy, he had a fascination for wildlife and nature. He would always bring home rabbits and squirrels to his mom to see if he could eat it.

Eventually, he grew out of bringing home roadkill, and decided to preserve parks and oversee recreations. He moved to Los Santos and became a Park Ranger for the San Andreas State Parks Center, where he works with Jessica, who will shoot anyone that stands too close to her.

The Park Ranger's History[edit | edit source]

First of his name, last of his kind. Conan Clarkson is the last Park Ranger to grace the city of Los Santos. He is famous for his general incompetence, lack of driving ability, and also his lack of a penis.

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According to the Original Park Ranger, Ziggy Buggs, Clarkson hasn't performed the "ritual on the mountain" to be a REAL Park Ranger. That doesn't stop Clarkson from driving his Park Ranger truck, patrolling the Park Ranger HQ , and taking care of any fallen mountain lions.

Park Ranger Clarkson fears NOTHING. Coyotes? - Please, don't insult him. Warlords? - HA, nice one. Park Ranger Clarkson is a mountain lion whisperer. He is one with nature. That is his natural habitat. Murder Kitties fear Clarkson.

Clarkson gives free tours of his Park Ranger's office. He would start the tour by lifting (and eventually killing) the coyote on top of the hill in front of the Park Ranger's office.

Current Events[edit | edit source]

Compromising footage[edit | edit source]

Following an incident at the prison where Garfield Henderson attempted to bite Clarkson's thigh (but bit too far up, and ended up biting Clarkson's penis off), his fellow officers had the body part put on ice. Clarkson was transported to the hospital; but after a series of events, the body part was stolen. 

A group of masked men held for ransom, demanding Clarkson to come visit them to retrieve it. When Clarkson arrived, he was held up at gun point, and forced to eat it on camera.

Eventually, Uchiha Jones contacted him and was able him a new "shoko", crafted by Boston Dynamics. Clarkson calls it the "Fuckmaster 9000".

Drug Usage[edit | edit source]

On November 29th, 2019, while on duty as a Corrections Officer at Bolingbroke Penitentiary, Clarkson received a bag of "ass meth" from a Russian inmate. In return, he reduced the time of the inmate, and tried the ass meth. 

Clarkson became addicted to the drug, continued to use it multiple times; smuggling some out of the prison. Clarkson gave a sample of the drug to Judge LaBarre, who refused to try it, and advised Clarkson to destroy it.

Employment Status[edit | edit source]

March and April of 2020 Conan had became uneasy with the status of the police department is going and with the recent suspension of Conan and AJ Hunter (now unsuspended) he has decided to put Conan on ice.

Relationships[edit | edit source]

Jessica the Park Ranger[edit | edit source]

Conan had a relationship with her, but on 2020-03-15 she was brutally executed by Conan after rejecting him in public.

Achievements[edit | edit source]

  1. December 18th is National Park Ranger Day. In celebration of Clarkson's sole ranking, the entire police force bears the Park Ranger uniform, vehicle livery, and operates under the callsign of 399.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The LAST and ONLY park ranger.
  • Had a sex change to a woman for a short period of time.
  • Has cosplayed as both Kael Soze and Dr. Disrespect.
  • It has been stated many times that Conan is just "Ramee El-Rahman with a badge".
  • Despite his rank of Park Ranger, he is employed by the Blaine Country Sheriff's Office, instead of the State of San Andreas Parks Department.
  • Many people call him "Cockless Clarkson" - he is honestly a big deal.
  • Has eaten his own dick
  • Is currently $35,000,000 in debt to State billed by Francis.
  • Put a 50K bounty on Matt Rhodes and Brittany Angel.

Quotes[edit | edit source]

  • "I'm the last of its kind the last Park Ranger."
  • "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
  • "Do you know who you're fucking with? You're fucking with a Park Ranger."
  • "I'm just a Park Ranger."
  • "What's up douchebag? This is Conan Clarkson."
  • "This is Park Ranger, Conan Clarkson, with The San Andreas Park Center; operating under the Blaine County Sheriff's Office."
  • "This is Conan 'Code 4' Clarkson, aka Triple C."
  • "Are you serious right now?"
  • "Dude."
  • "I'm not an Officer; I'm a Park Ranger."
  • "It's time to catch these fucking scumbags."
  • "This city is a dying whore."
  • "Are you brain dead?"
  • "I'm kinda a big deal."
  • "I get busy in these streets. I fuck bitches, get money."
  • "I'm all about that static."
  • "Just another day in the life of a Park Ranger, what can I say"

Copypastas[edit | edit source]

  • We get it, you wanna win. A fucking cop that is a non-stop try hard, hangs around the pink cage looking for the newbies to the city so you can arrest them to pad your stats, camps the jewelry store after a tsunami, walks away from your own arrests so you don't have to do the paperwork and stays away from the hood because you know they will easily take you out. Have a good one bud.
  • Listen here you tsunami rushing ๐ŸŒŠ one pump dumping ๐Ÿ”ซ house robbing ๐Ÿ  7:30 pawning โฐ oxy running ๐Ÿ’Š car chopping ๐Ÿš— weed selling ๐ŸŒณ Pokรฉmon card selling ๐Ÿน brake checking ๐Ÿšซ tire tazing ๐Ÿ”ง mag dumping ๐Ÿ’ข cop car stealing ๐Ÿšจ cop impersonating ๐Ÿ‘ฎ gas pouring โ›ฝ great ocean fleeca robbing ๐Ÿค‘ crack smoking โš—๏ธ cocaine snorting โ›ท๏ธ lockpicking ๐Ÿ”‘ aluminum buying ๐Ÿ—œ๏ธ stock selling ๐Ÿ“ˆ 2-man vaulting ๐Ÿฆ with no ID on them ๐Ÿ“‡ SCUMBAGS.

Conan Clips[edit | edit source]

  1. the 2 time!!
  2. Show me your hands
  3. Ramee KEKW clip
  4. INCEPTION
  5. gets new car crashes instantly
  6. conan clarkson perma'd by firing squad 
  7. RAUUUUUL
  8. my immersion
  9. park ranger for Halloween
  10. park ranger takes meth

Website[edit | edit source]

Gallery[edit | edit source]

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