Brandon "PB & J" Johnson

Private Brandon " PB & J " Johnson is played by Lev1ath3n.

Description
A recently discharged army private, PB&J roamed the streets starving until he was brought in on Smoke on the Water. Desperate for acceptance, and a way to dull the pain, PB&J tried some of what his first sergeant called “the devils lettuce” and realized, maybe, the army had lied to him about a lot of things.

PB&J is aggressive, but he tamps it down it with pills. He has at least 5 pills a day (courtesy of the VA) and pops them whenever he is stressed or angry. In line with his therapy, he was told he has a wolf inside him, and that he either has to kill it or feed it, which is why he has a tattoo of a wolf getting stabbed while eating a taco on his back. He is always the first to try to get things done, and to say “its on sight” but routinely gets talked out of it by his older brothers and adopted mother. When he runs out of pills, he always announces “OUT OF PILLS, THINGS ABOUT TO GET CRAZY”

Though he was slow to warm up to the idea, PB&J has joined the “Cult of the Song” and is now an avid member of Windsong’s extended family. Conveniently, he has scheduled his VA appointments on Wednesday during the sermon’s to get out of the orgy. PB&J can usually be seen hanging around Smoke on the water, hotboxing the PD tow shack, boosting low level cars, ripping out ATM’s, or going on adventures with his family.

PB&J consider Dan Faily his mortal Frenemy

History
PB&J joined the army at 18 immediately after high school, and since then has a time of it. While in Boot camp, he was told of the dangers of drugs, polyarmousness, and having emotions. He completed basic training, with low aptitude scores, and was sent to Army Infantry School (AIS) to be a MOS11 assault infantry man.

During AIS, and subsequent promotion to private, PB&J was stoked to go overseas and “fight the bad guys, the terrorists, or whatever,” but he was also lonely. His obnoxious enthusiasm and overpowering aggression ostracized him from his fellow recruits, and he turned to Trinder for companionship. On his first Trinder date a beautiful woman told him that she too was part of an army, and that she was fighting bad guys overseas, and asked him to join. PB&J enthusiastically said yes, and got in a roughshod plane and was flown to what seemed to be a vast desert with a teeny tiny camp between the dunes.

PB&J wasn’t ready for the desert, or the job they gave him. The first day he dropped his rifle and blew off an officer’s kneecap, and he was put on latrine duty. The rest of the camp had all but forgotten him, so for several months he cleaned stinky bathrooms, and the beautiful woman who initially recruited him was nowhere to be found. Eventually, someone felt bad and asked if he had any experience in social media and he emphatically agreed. He took a photo of the camp, titled “just army tings #army” and posted it on Twatter, but unbeknownst to the camp he had accidentally geolocated it.

In the middle of the night the camp was raided by Army Special Forces, but PB&J slept through the gunfire and warring. When the dust settled, and morning came, PB&J woke up and went outside to see a the camp destroyed and every one of the camps followers dead. The Special Forces soldiers turned and told him to freeze, then upon realizing he was American brought him back to their base. They found that he was an Army soldier, currently AWOL, but the fact that he had made the Twatter post that helped them find the camp made them think that he was an intelligence plant. He emphatically agreed with this assessment, and he was sent back with a medal, a promotion to PFC, and a general discharge since they couldn’t tell what had actually happened.

PB&J went to Los Santos to try a new start with a new life, and frankly it was the cheapest flight out. Upon getting to Los Santos, he met Flops Rainman who gave him his first lockpick, some food while he was starving, and pointed him on to Smoke on the Water to find a job. PB&J never forgot that, and still holds Flops to high esteem to this day (though he doesn’t know where he is). PB&J interviewed with Windsong at Smoke, got the job, and the rest is recent history.

Trivia
- PB and J comes from Private Brandon Johnson, and stems from Brandon not wanting to be called BJ.

- Surprisingly good actor, has been a Mike Block and Chatterbox stand in, and has costumes for all of his family members.

- Speaks chicken, and thinks they are the wisest of all animals, as well as the most delicious.

- Comes up with colloquial names for all his dads, moms, aunts, and uncles with brother Ruben Rivers such as: ,  ,  , and < Hapapap - (Happy)>

- Has a Yosimite Rancher called "Shark Tank," Which he considers his premier crime vehicle.

- Considers his Aunty Mercury his Crime Sensei

- Has an Associates degree in psychology from Army University.

- Know many random facts, but many of them are incorrect.

Quotes
- "AWE SHIT, IS ON SIGHT, (No were not!), Damnit."

- "Yo, but have you tried extreme violence yet?"

- "Welp, that sounds like terrorism. Fuck it"

- "Shit, I really regret not putting windows on this thing" (In relation to PB&J being tased out of Shark Tank)