Richard Ryder

About
Richard Ryder is currently the undercover persona of Vladimir Raven. To achieve this look, Raven puts on a bald cap very poorly and puts some clip-on earrings he bought from a Claire's buy one get one sale.

Richard Ryder is 42 years old (Birthday: 9/9/1977) and is happily married with 3 kids. However, Richard prefers to go by the name of Dick.

He somehow is an accountant for a small firm he owns with Harold Kuntz (the undercover persona of Jackie Snow) Dick & Kuntz Accounting despite only going to community college. He also is really into bikes, despite never owning a motorcycle. He currently is subscribed to 15 biker magazines. His wife made him trade in his truck for a minivan hybrid because it helps with milage.

Family
His wife Karen is his high school sweetheart. They started dating at 15 when they met in P.E. They got married at 22. Her sister Carol still doesn't approve of the marriage.

A year later, they had their first son Liam. Richard changed from a full time accountant to a part time so he could volunteer to coach Liam's little league team. Richard never played baseball but his son wanted him to coach so he learned to play through YouTube videos. Liam is now 19 years old and plays baseball in college.

Karen and Richard welcomed their little Princess, Sophie 2 years later. Richard cried a lot when she was born and spoils her more than any of the kids. Even though she is the brattiest, she is the smartest and has straight As. Sophie is 16 now and really into makeup and TikTok.

The last child is Ethan. Ethan came a year later and followed in the footsteps of his brother. Richard clearly learned over coaching Liam over the years and became a much better coach. Ethan enjoyed playing baseball but never as much as his brother. Unfortunately, Ethan ended up quitting at 13. He's now 15 and loves to go dirt biking and getting dirty with his friends.

Poetry
Richard, in his free time, writes poetry to relieve stress. Many of his poems are about his family, his love for bikes, and how he's not gay. Some are better than others, which may be due to lack of sleep, or just "different voices in his head writing them for him". Below are some examples:

"'At 15 I went from a party of one, to two. We spent the days on the roof of my mothers house sneaking a beer and thinking we were cool. I told my father over dinner that I was going to make her my family""At 21 I got down on one knee and asked her to be my wife. I tried to hide my tears when she said yes but that day I felt more of a man than ever. We were married a year later.""At 23 we raced to the hospital at 3 in the morning. I paced outside the room for 2 hours waiting for the doctors to change me from a husband to a father. 2 hours turned into 4 and at 7 in the morning we welcomed our son""At 26 we traded in my car for a hybrid. Apparently it’s good on the milage. Between work and the abundance of activities three children bring to the world, including coaching my sons little league, we needed the car. At least we still had our happy little family""I’m 30 now and I couldn’t be happier with the journey life has given me. Instead of a newspaper in the morning, I sip my coffee over a Harley magazine before going to my accounting job. Sure life had its ups and downs but at least I can look over my beautiful wife, and my 3 kids and say “wow we are one happy family”'"This is Richard's first poem: "'Hello my name is Richard. People call me Dick. My last name is Ryder Yeah it’s pretty sick""I have a wife and three kids. We enjoy riding bikes. I also ride my wife. But that’s just what I like""One kid plays baseball. I’m very proud of him. He’s in the Little League. What a legend""I have a little girl. She’s my princess. She’s spunky and loud. In her little dress""My other little boy. He’s really into trucks. He plays in the mud. Like kid, what the fuck.""I enjoy this club. Sonya offered me crack. I don’t do drugs. Drugs are pretty whack""Oh hey did I mention. My name’s not Dick. It’s Vladimir Raven of the LSPD put your fucking hands up'"