Uchiha Jones

Uchiha Jones is a character role-played by cyr aka ''Anime Phuckface. ([Pegi18[Eng Dub])''

Introduction
Born in Kansas, Japan, Uchiha Jones lived with his parents until the age of four, when they were brutally murdered in front of him. A man took him in and trained him as a Shinoba. At the age of 18, his sensei confessed that he was the one who beheaded his parents. Searching for his sensei, Uchiha moved to Los Santos. He is a core member of Chang Gang.

Uchiha speaks English and Kansas-ese, a mixture of Japanese and English. He also calls people "fucko", which is a term of endearment in his native land.

He has cybernetic arms, legs, and a shoko (penis) from Boston Dynamics (in collaboration with Pillbox Medical and SpaceSex). Uchiha wears an exoskeleton on his torso as a result of all the combat damage.

''*Cyr has stated that Uchiha is based on various characters from video games [such as Final Fantasy] and anime series [such as Naruto]. Cyr uses music from these games and series to set the mood for Uchiha's character.''

Character Arcs
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 * Title= Detective Arc
 * Body=


 * Chang becomes a private detective and invites Uchiha to join him. Their office is located in the back of the strip club. Later Vinny and Ramee join the detective firm. Multiple people have joined and helped them with cases. They have a 100% case closed record. Rose was hired as Uchiha's assistant. Chang has a new top-secret location for the detective firm.

The First Brenda Case

 * Lang Buddha hires Chang to find out if Brenda is cheating on Saab, little does he know Uchiha and Brenda have a complicated flirtatious relationship. Chang and Uchiha do recon to get evidence. They spy on Saab and Buddha having a conversation, Uchiha takes notes. They go to the hospital to talk to Brenda. Buddha "dies" in the hospital bed. Chang tells Saab that Buddha said, "to forget about Brenda and fuck other women." He tells Vinny and Uchiha to seduce Brenda, they bring her to the mansion for a setup. Chang feeds her lies, and the plan fails. Brenda, Saab, Chang, and Vinny talk it out on the sidewalk while Uchiha spies in a bush. Chang tells them to break up for a day so he can have a 100% case closed record. Case Closed



The Cheating Pimp Case

 * Erin seeks help with her pimp boyfriend who she believes is cheating on her with a pink-haired woman. She gives Uchiha her number. Erin calls Uchiha for any info. Uchiha says that Alabaster said: "Ya I'm cheating bitch, she a hoe". Uchiha tells Erin to try and get under Alabaster's skin to see if he really cares about her or not. Uchiha says, "I bet I can make him cry."

The Police Officer Case

 * Officer AJ Hunter wants them to investigate Conan Clarkson for any diseases. (Chang does the rest)

The Scammer Case

 * Uchiha posts an ad in the yellow pages to bait the scam caller. The scammer calls him and tells him he has a lot of charges on his record and needs to pay a fine for his warrant. He tries to connect to his phone with fast support but fails. Uchiha goes to the bank, the scammer tells him to take out 999 dollars out of his account. The scammer tells Uchiha to meet him at tool shop 2 of 2. He tells Uchiha to buy a gift card, then tells him to buy three body armor. The scammer attacks Uchiha with a hatchet in the bushes. Chang shoots at the scammer but he escapes. The EMT come and bring Uchiha to Pillbox Medical. After waking up Uchiha witnesses Chang named a hero for saving him and the scammer is caught. Case Closed

The Dungeons and Dragons Case

 * A nerd calls Uchiha from his yellow pages ad for help with a mystery. Uchiha meets the two nerds in the parking lot under the highway. After a bunch of arguing Uchiha turns into the Dungeon Master and they proceed to Role Play and roll dice. The mystery was never solved because Kevin Shaw called for help. Case Closed


 * [//www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/BrainyClearFriesJonCarnage https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/BrainyClearFriesJonCarnage]

The Kevin Shaw Case

 * Kevin Shaw calls because he's stranded in the ocean with other people. Uchiha steals a boat and saves them, the EMT land a helicopter on the beach and give medical assistance. Back at Pillbox Medical they thank Uchiha and call him a hero. Case Closed

» The Jordan Case

 * Something about a woman harassing Jordan.

The Ghost Car Case

 * [//www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/FunnyBumblingPeachSuperVinlin https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/FunnyBumblingPeachSuperVinlin]

The Demon Ramee Case

 * Ramee gets possessed by a demon, Uchiha and Chang get help from Saint Jospeh for an exorcism. They burn the body twice and piss on him (holy water) then throw him off the dam into the water. Chang jumps in to save Ramee, they bring him to Pillbox Medical. Case Closed


 * [//www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/BashfulBumblingGrouseNomNom https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/BashfulBumblingGrouseNomNom]

The Thalia Hayes Case

 * Nino Chavez talks to Uchiha and Chang about a girl he's currently having sex with who's getting too emotionally attached. The plan is for Uchiha (fuckbeast 4000) to fuck her prone bone style.

The Bovice Case

 * Mother requested information on the location of escaped convict Bovice. She's worried that she's on his kill list.

The Second Bovice Case

 * Doctor Choi wants to know if Bovice is now TJ. She is also worried about his violent past.

The Who is Jesus Case

 * Buddha wants to know some information on Jesus. Uchiha believes Jesus might be willing to give him some information as long as he continues to act vulnerable.

The Rudi Rinsen Case

 * "He woke up in his house, bloodied up, blood everywhere. Face wounds. Missing right eye. Note on the ground "Friend, I found you took you to witch doctor, took care of you, eye is gone" No idea whatsoever what happened. Rudi was having a few beers at his OWN bar. Last thing he remembers wasn't a result of drinking too much. Driving school with Tessa, Reid called him MULTIPLE times. Called Tess multiple times. Nobody picked up. Couple hours later he called Tess again. She picked up, she said he heard his phone ringing multiple times but he was focused on driving. She also told Reid that she left him in Harmony at the repair shop. Apparently Rudi took a phone call, took a few steps back he appeared agitated and said for her to leave him there because he would get picked up. She doesn't know the name of the individual who called."

- Uchiha's Notes. Uchiha talks to Reid, he has no new info. Uchiha goes to Chang to talk about the case. They go searching for Tessa for any leads on the case. Uchiha talks to Tessa in the parking lot about a driving test, they exchange numbers.
 * Doesn't suspect anyone from his shop is a lead.
 * No current enemies.
 * No suspicion that Tessa is involved.
 * He doesn't recall anyone in Harmony at the time.
 * He doesn't recall anyone following them during the driving test.

Big cash reward.

The Jordan Stabbing Case

 * Chang stabbed Jordan for $20,000. Jordan wants to know who paid him to do it. In reward for the information, he's going to let Uchiha and Chang park at the hospital without a tow. Uchiha tells Chang, he agrees to tell him who did it but at a cost. They take Jordan to an undisclosed room under the ruse that they work for homeland security. They talk about Jordan's past. Chang spills the beans and says it was Allen. They drop a bunch of shit in the room and Uchiha lights a campfire causing Jordan and himself to pass out from the smoke. The cops breach the room and everyone catches on fire. Case Closed


 * [//clips.twitch.tv/TentativePeacefulSheepWoofer https://clips.twitch.tv/TentativePeacefulSheepWoofer]

The Zack Case

 * Kevin Shaw wants Uchiha to investigate Zack.

The Ghost Sakura Case

 * Kayden calls Uchiha from the grave, she wants to be resurrected. She said Jordan fucked her to death. They go pick her up in a parking lot and Chang drives them up a mountain to start the ritual. A bunch of hillbilly folk starts to shoot after them. Uchiha gets shot and they drive him to a house. In his state, Kayden gives him CPR, Uchiha pulls Kayden back from the dead. They walk outside and look at the sunrise in the rain. Case Closed}}

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 * Title= Dojo Arc
 * Body=
 * Chang brought Uchiha along with Ramee and Vinny to a new Dojo that he opened. They kidnap Melbert to use him as a sacrifice in a public demonstration. (needs more info)

The Two Uchihas Arc
(Also known as Body Swap Arc.)


 * During a brain surgery, Doctor Choi blacks out and wakes up convinced that she is now Uchiha Jones' consciousness in her body. In this form, Choi is referred to as Uchoiha and wears his typical outfits (1,2,3,4,5). She tells people that Uchiha as Choi saw his shoko and ran off with it. During this time she hangs around Pillbox Medical harassing people as Uchoiha. She uses her ghost shoko to revive people and give them IV's. Uchoiha tries to locate a Sakura-chan to procreate with, asking his personal assisant Rose to be his wife. Brenda tries to help Uchoiha by giving her a wooden shoko to replace her missing shoko. Uchiha arrives in the city, and is informed that Choi has gone crazy, thinking she is him. He concludes that the only way to return her to normal is to dress in her doctor attire to remind her of who she actually is. Uchiha returns to the hospital in the medical getup, though this only seems to further convince Uchoiha that they have switched bodies. Uchiha begins to question how people put up with him all the time if this is how he acts. At this point, Mel suggests shock therapy to return Choi to normal. In one of the rooms in Pillbox Medical, Mel takes out a taser and shoots Uchoiha multiple times until Choi turns back to her normal self. (1)

}}

Uchiha's Initiation To Chang Gang

 * Uchiha is kidnapped by Chang, Randy, Ramee, and Vinny, who are dressed like Sasquatches. Uchiha is then taken to a maze, where he has to defeat all of the "Beasts." He manages to defeat all of the "Beasts", only to be confronted by Chang. They then engage in a gun fight, which leaves them both dead. They manage to get to the entrance of the maze, only to find Bobby Brown there, and he calls EMS. Once the EMS arrive, Chang tells Uchiha that he is officially a part of the Chang Gang. The boys then go to the mansion, and Vinny gives Uchiha keys.

Criminal Record

 * Accessory to Robbery x2
 * Assault x1
 * Assault on a Peace Officer x1
 * Assault with Deadly Weapon x6
 * Attempted Manslaughter x1
 * Criminal Possession of a Firearm [Class 1] x20
 * Criminal Possession of a Firearm [Class 2] x5
 * Criminal Use of a Firearm x2
 * Escaping Custody x1
 * Evading x4
 * Failure to Obey Traffic Control Devices x2
 * First Degree Speeding x2
 * Identity Theft x1
 * Impersonating a Peace Officer x2
 * Joyriding x5
 * Kidnapping x3
 * Misdemeanor Possession of Controlled Dangerous x1
 * Misdemeanor Possession of Crack x2
 * Murder x1
 * Negligent Driving x1
 * Obstruction of Justice x2
 * Reckless Evading x5
 * Resisting Arrest x12
 * Robbery x3
 * Second Degree Speeding x1
 * Tampering With a Vehicle x1
 * Unlawful Imprisonment x3

Fun Facts

 * Uchiha ordered his legs off the Dark Web.
 * Uchiha learned how to pick up women from the video game Super Seducer.
 * Uchiha likes to tell mother jokes/burns. (1)
 * Uchiha helped Snake with the Bovice prison break.
 * Uchiha helped Bovice get a clean ID.
 * Uchiha went to a concert at an empty bar to watch a man sing a song for Mother.
 * Mr. Kebun is Uchiha's mortal enemy, mentor, and business partner.
 * Uchiha hates blackjack and racing.
 * Uchiha once ramped Lil Erf's car onto some power poles. (1)
 * Uchiha once told Karen to drive FAST! resulting in her being ejected from her car and dying. (1)
 * Uchiha wanted to sue Nino for defecation of character because he said he shoved eggs up his ass.
 * Uchiha has a cool Sakura-chan car and a motorcycle he calls 'the smoke monster'. (1)
 * Uchiha once did a pretty sick back-flip while in prison. (1)
 * Uchiha often takes on the persona of "Fish boy" and "Rick Grimes" during heists/missions and likes to ask for marshmallows. (1, 2)
 * Uchiha was Jordan Steele's best man for his wedding that they had outside of the courthouse.
 * Uchiha helped Joe Mullet, and Zelda Harth on a surprise practice mission to rescue John Pliskin.
 * Uchiha calls women Sakura-chan or LS thots.
 * Uchiha is co-owner of The Dragon's Dojo according to Chang.
 * Uchiha's feather tattoo on his right side represents his bird feet, the tattoo on his chest represents Boston Dynamics, and the tattoo on his right elbow was made by his drunk friend while they were both high on LSD.
 * Uchiha always enters the 420 realm during rare late nights hanging out with Chang.
 * Uchiha succeeds in his first getaway driving role during a heist with Boe and Pablo.
 * Uchiha robbed a convenience store twice by himself successfully.
 * Uchiha murdered (PERMA) El Muerto by stabbing him in the back with a knife in Chang's Dojo.
 * Uchiha is the first to be the dragon trophy champion.
 * Uchiha is one of the only convicted cop killers to still walk the streets, avoiding the death penalty in court.
 * Uchiha shot down his first person with Ricky Robins during a robbery gone wrong.
 * Uchiha's rap "Mother Don't Know" (https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/KindLuckyKoalaMingLee)
 * Uchiha's rap "Jail Cell" (https://www.twitch.tv/cyr/clip/OptimisticBelovedClintChocolateRain)
 * Uchiha's rap "Top Notch Killer" https://clips.twitch.tv/AuspiciousFlaccidGuanacoJKanStyle
 * Uchiha has shot down Kael Soze and Bobby Smith.
 * Uchiha has the second sword in the city that Chang gave him after the battle for the cursed sword.

Quotes

 * "SAY IT! YOU THINK IM A FREAK!"
 * "See Ya, Fucko!"
 * "I don't expect you to understand."
 * "You got got."
 * "Prone Bone Style."
 * "I could have dropped you like a sack of rice."
 * "Relacc"
 * "Goog"
 * "LS Thots"
 * "I'm simply jesting"
 * "The best of the best of the best, Sir! With honors."
 * "Oishii desu ne"
 * "SHA"
 * "It's your life, take a chance"
 * "SILENCE MHORTALS!"
 * "Diagnostics suggest..."
 * "Natural selection, baby."
 * "A lot of people want to know just who I am, well I'm Uchiha."
 * "My old man is Jecht, and Jecht is sin"
 * "You ever just do some DMT and listen to Nickleback?"
 * "SLEEP"
 * “I’m only here to procreate. I cannot lose sight of that mission.”
 * "Be My Wife!"
 * "You're just a dumb old docktor"
 * "What happened to me"
 * "What's the point"
 * "I have slept with my own mother."
 * "SYAT!"
 * "Sounds like the same old dilly dally shilly shally"

Media
Uchiha Jones' Theme